Sometimes you stumble into a situation that you immediately regret. You see things that cannot be unseen. Things that can turn your stomach. I don’t know what it is lately here in NYC but I have a knack for walking into people going at it in a revolting display of public affection. You know the type. The couple that disgustingly can’t keep their hands off each other and feels the need to show off to the world their love. Case in point the other afternoon when I decided to have my lunch in the park. We have had some beautiful summer weather and having lunch on a park bench seemed like a good idea. Sunglasses on, chicken wrap in my hand, a cold iced tea, and the warm sun on my face as I leaned back to relish in the moment. A moment that was suddenly ruined by the sounds of wet slurping noises. At first I thought it was a panting dog sitting next to me until I looked over and saw this couple in the full throes of tonsil hockey! I mean, they were going at it relentlessly. I really think he was going in so deep that he was trying to dig out her fillings with his tongue. I’m surprised he did not pass out from lack of oxygen since it looked like she was devouring his whole face with an air lock. The absolute horror of what I was witnessing transpired fully when I realized these were not young kids but a couple that were old enough to be my parents!!!
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! MY EYES!!!!!!
Why, oh, why do these things always seem to happen to me? I thimk I’m a weirdo magnet. People end up doing strange things in my presence. The PDA thing can be a bit much at times. Usually it’s the younger couples that do it with uncaring abandon, as they don’t care who sees them or who is close by. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter where they are. Tonight after finishing up my workout I headed down my street to the diner to pick up something for dinner. As I approached the last few buildings on my block I noticed this couple making out. No big deal, right? Except the fact that they were going at it on the garbage cans. Yuck! Have you ever seen what gets spilled on those cans? Literally, she was sitting on a dumpster with her legs wrapped around this dude while he was mauling her. I just looked down and pretended to ignore them as I proceeded on my way. About 20 minutes later as I headed home with food in tow they were still there sucking face in the garbage. WTF??? She even had keys in her hand so I assume she lived in the building there. I guess going into the apartment and continuing on a clean couch or comfy bed was not as romantically enticing as being spread out over raw smelly sewage?
Ah, the odor of young love!
Now here I am sitting on the couch watching some boob tube while penning my thoughts into my blog and what do I see over and over? Late night commercials for those “love lines”. You have seen them all. The ones where the seductive young girls lay across the screen and proclaim there are hot sexy singles all waiting by their phones to talk with you. At all hours of the night. Just waiting for your call. Yeah right. Like all these desireable attractive 20 something’s have nothing better to do with their evenings than to waste their time and have intimate conversations with every creeper that calls. No way do these paid spokesmodels actually look like those that are probably on the other end of the line.
Most often this is who you are having sexy chat with – ENJOY!