No Bro-Fisting. Just great cocktails at Middle Branch in NYC.

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Yes sir! I’ll gladly have another!

I’m always up for a quality made libation! Very nice addition to the Murray Hill area close to where I work here in NYC. Middle Branch is the sister speakeasy cocktail joint to downtown Little Branch. Lacking the bro-fisting that is normally seen in bars around these parts it’s a classier choice to score a liquid refreshment. Heck, “Home On The Range” is a terrific cocktail, and at $12 a bit cheaper here than at most speakeasies in NYC!

Been here a few times now for an after work cocktail. As it’s kind of hidden in what looks to be just another residential brownstone you can easily walk by, but it’s not all that hard to find. There is a plaque on the face of the building with the letters MB along with a wrought iron fence that surrounds it. As it’s a two story place the open windows with patrons seen drinking during warmer weather kind of gives it away. Continue reading

Posted in 2015, Booze, Bro's, Cocktail, Date Spot, Drunk, Manhattan, New York living, NYC, Speakeasy, Uncategorized, Yelp | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Do girls poop? That, and other NYC mysteries of flatulence.

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Do girls poop? I was recently confronted with that question and still pondering an answer. Does anyone really know? It’s one of those mysteries of the universe. When dating we never really see them go to the bathroom to take a hairy dump. If they do go it’s usually for a quick pee so there is no way they can squeeze out a quick one in that time. Not like us dudes as we can clip off some cable in minutes and be right back at the dinner table without missing a beat. Plus, don’t even suggest they go in a public place! That is akin to heresy! Here in NYC there is a definite lack of clean public restrooms to use other than finding a Starbucks without a line of people waiting as long as at the DMV. Even some of those can be pretty scary at times. Women will actually hold it in all day than sacrifice sitting their butt flesh on a foreign toilet seat. Just do the hover! I could never do that to myself. Guys are like bears and the whole city is our woods, or toilet bowl so to speak. I have discovered some ingenious spots to get relief – hotels, restaurants, gyms, porta potties, behind a parked car, etc. Oh, don’t ever ask a girl to go in a porta pottie unless you want to experience the “stink eye” and a smack upside your head. A porta pottie to a women is pretty much the last resort, and like asking them to enter the third portal of Hell itself. There are some things that just can not be unseen in them. Continue reading

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Dirty Pirate Hooker shots in a NYC dive bar! Aaaaaaarrhh!

Photo credit - Mike W - Yelp

Photo credit – Mike W – Yelp

Again, I can’t emphasize how much I love this divetastic bar! After another night of boozing here during this past Friday happy hour I realized where I now want my ashes spread when the day comes. Iggy’s Keltic Lounge located on the Lower East Side of NYC is one of those spots where you wander in and like a black hole all time is sucked away as you stumble out hours later.

Walking in and taking a seat the heavy metal sounds of old Metallica, GNR, and Iron effing Maiden are blasting out of the amazing jukebox here! Yes, this is a bar for metal, rock, and punk. If you listen to top 40 pop, hip hop, rap, crappy Taylor Swift and Maroon 5 dreck please leave and throw yourself under a bus. You have been warned. I just put $10 in the box and picked 30 songs that include Kiss, Maiden, Judas Priest, Ramones, Black Sabbath, The Smiths, and some Johnny Cash among others. Always play some Johnny Cash.

An affable bartender who thinks he is a pirate, dresses like one, and will great you with a hearty hello while setting up your libation. Pirate Mike is the man. He works the bar pretty much by himself during happy hour and the occasional weekend afternoons that I have drank the day away here, and he is a pro at it. He loves the lasses and they would walk the plank for this sea dog. Yo Ho Ho! Continue reading

Posted in 2015, Bars, Beer, Booze, Cocktail, Cool Stuff, Drunk, Fun, Heavy Metal, KISS, Manhattan, Music, New York living, Nightlife, NYC, Restroom, Uncategorized, Yelp | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Hey NYC parents – your spawn are not my problem!

Just be warned in case you ask me to watch your kid......

Just be warned in case you ask me to watch your kid……

Did she just really ask me to watch her spawn from Hell? Now, I am a responsible kind of fellow, and maybe I have that composure of which people seem to trust me for some reason. Yet, here I am baffled as to why someone would entrust a complete stranger with their DNA which plopped out from between their legs in a moment of excruciating agony. Hey, that was your choice lady, not mine. I am childfree by choice, and live a totally fulfilling life, thank you very much. The last thing I want to do is watch your crying, screaming, annoying child while you head to the bathroom to take a dump. Now don’t get me wrong, as I don’t hate childen, no really, but I am just not parent material. People constantly tell me and my gal that I look like I’d make a great dad. Bwahahahahaha! Yeah, this guy who still likes to go out drinking too much, partying too hard, and lives life on a whim. Sorry, I just don’t want to be trapped and looking miserable as I see so many parents here in NYC are. You know the type. They are pushing an oversized baby carriage, or carrying around their kid in a sack on their chest like an albatross around their necks. That forlorn look of despair in their eyes with a silent cry for help as they desperately seek an escape from the eternal situation they got themselves into. As I view these people I can only wonder if they rue the day they discarded their freedom in a moment of breeding frenzy. All it takes is a minute of ejactulatory bliss in exchange for twenty years of a parental jail sentence. Awww heck no. Sorry, it’s just not for me. Continue reading

Posted in 2015, Blog, Coffee, Family, Life, Manhattan, New York living, NYC, Parenting, People, Uncategorized, Weather, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 50 Comments

Dinner! Drinks! Get funky and boogie down in Atlantic City!

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Photo credit – DO AC – http://www.atlanticcitynj.com/

Now that we are in the doldrums of the winter season up here in the NYC area many people hunker down and stay close to home. Call it the comfort food and cozy abode season if we will. Yet, there are still some fun quick getaways to lure one out and help warm up these chilly weekends. A few hours down the turnpike brings us to Atlantic City, NJ, and even though it’s not the height of their summer season, there is plenty much to do here that will fill up your weekend during the cold months. With an abundance of restaurants, lounges, and clubs there is something for everyone. It’s not all about gambling but of course that is another enjoyable option!

After checking into your hotel no matter where you stay in AC go take a stroll through The Quarter Shops at the Tropicana. I had remembered coming here when this new mall area first opened ten years ago, and it had been quite a while since we last visited. It was surprising to see that out of the original shops that had opened around 18 of the 24 were still in business. Overall, there are about 40 stores, nine restaurants, eleven nightclubs, and more to explore and experience. When we were here during the holiday season it was decorated and there were some free events and shows to enjoy. It’s a great area to see a show, pick up some gifts, do some shopping, have a cocktail, or settle in for a nice dinner. Continue reading

Posted in 2015, Bars, Cool Stuff, Day Trip, Dining, Food, Food Porn, Foodie, Fun, New Jersey, Nightlife, Restaurant, Restaurant Review, Shopping, Stores, Touristy, Travel, Uncategorized, Vacation, Weekend Getaway | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Trekking into Queens rewards with Kabab Nirvana!

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Sometimes you just have to escape the comfortable surroundings of your regular haunts to discover new food sensations. It’s so easy to gravitate to the same spots over and over that are close to home, and become part of the normal routine for many of us here in NYC. Having friends who live in each suburb does offer the occasional opportunity to meander outside of the comfort zone and check out different food ethnicities to try out. We happen to love the foods of the Afgani and Pakistani peoples as there is just something so tasty and comforting about it. Intoxicating aromas. Plus, eating kababs are fun!

We were recently invited for a brunch at Bakhter Halal Kababs way out in Fresh Meadows, Queens. It was definitely a trek to get out there by subway and then a short car ride to the restaurant. Normally, we kind of avoid Queens as much of it is akin to the suburbs and you can’t get to many parts of the area by subway alone. Good thing for friends with cars. I have not owned a car since 1998 and don’t miss it at all! They picked us up and drove us there after arriving at the subway stop they told us to arrive at. When we walked up to this place along a main street strip mall I was wondering what we had gotten ourselves into here. Continue reading

Posted in 2015, Brunch, Dining, Food, Food Porn, Foodie, Friends, Gluttony, Gluttony Files, New York living, NYC, NYC Dining, Restaurant, Restaurant Review, Yelp | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Eating like a Manly Man at J&R’s Steakhouse on Long Island!

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One thing I do love about staying over my gal’s parents house for a visit now and then is they usually take us to J&R’s Steakhouse out in Calverton, Long Island. It’s one of pop’s favorite places, and is one of those spots that is made for one thing and one thing only –

GOREGASM!!!

Holy meatapocalypse! The amount of food you get here is ridiculous for the price. I guess living in NYC we are so used to overpaying for everything that J&R’s seems to be a terrific bargain. Plus, the food is actually pretty good. Just good old fashioned “stick to your ribs” comfort style food served up in large portions at a reasonable price point. Daily specials on their chalkboard for lunch and dinner are a good deal too and always worthy of a try.

On the day we came here during Christmas week I wanted to attempt the 76 ounce steak challenge, but it was not being offered anymore. What??? Something about not enough people doing it, so it was removed. Why dear God, WHY???

What kind of world are we living in when real Manly Men don’t want to take on the challenge of engorging on a huge slab of meat?!!! Oh, the shame! Do it for valor. Do it for love of God and country! Do it for the glory! Do it for AMURRICA!!!! Continue reading

Posted in 2014, Beer, Dining, Food, Food Porn, Foodie, Gluttony, Gluttony Files, New York living, New York State, Restaurant, Restaurant Review, Steak, Uncategorized, Yelp | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments