Spam Spam Spam Spam. Spammity Spam!

482191_432760076799922_808122176_nIt amazes me at times the kind of comments and opinions I have received on my blog since I started it back in October 2012. Now, I love my readers and appreciate every comment – good, bad, positive, negative, funny, etc. I make it a point to reply to each one when I have the time and always set aside some to do so. Along the way though I have received some “interesting” comments that get captured in the handy dandy spam filter – thank goodness for that tool! Usually I will leave them in there for a week before looking through and deleting them one by one. It does make me laugh at how blatently obvious the spam that they are. You can always tell because they never comment on the actual post it’s attached to, but usually consists of some sort of sales pitch, foreign language, or some crazy gobbledygook that makes little to no sense at all. I do find it humorous too at the messages some send to the posts they are commenting about. Just cleaning out the spam filter today I discovered these gems with the post they commented on –

 ( The High Line – A Garden Oasis In The NYC Sky

“Hihi, have you heard of this method known as the Fat Blast Lifestyle? (look for it on google). My sister says it helps? people burn fat. What do you think?…”

– Are you calling me fat? If I didn’t have a Big Mac and fries in my hands right now I’d knock your ass out!


Eff you Cupid! Valentine’s Day Loathing ) 

“Yay google is my world beater helped me to find this fantastic web site!”

– Are you sure you’re not beating off on something else since google has you so aroused?


Cocktails – Speakeasy style ) 

“Wow~ what a deal will do business anytime Fast Shipping and excellent seller! I have many friends who buy nike air max jacket here, and they all feel amazing. Thank you so much. There are various designs of the quality nike air max Concords. The delive…”

– Are you telling me I dress bad when hitting the bar scene? You stalking me?


Happy St Patty’s Vomit Day NYC! ) 

“quality. These cheap and quality nike air max Concords are my favorite in life. You also give me good service, thank you. When I saw the nike air max Concords here, I know they are good and can be the best choice. My friend told me to buy nike air max …”

– So, now you want me to buy new sneakers to vomit on during St Patty’s Day drinking?


( Dude, trim those nose hairs!

“I know it’s caused by pump failure. Our debate is that I say as the pump fails, the EF decreases the blood pressure drops and the RAAS activates? Then the lack of pressure is detected by baroreceptors and epithelial cells within the kidney? Or does th…”

– Is this why nose hairs grow so thick and long they look like a party favor when breathing? Science!


( Time to play “Hide the Weiner” for NYC Mayor! )

“Whoa! This can be one particular of the extremely helpful weblogs We’ve actually arrive across on this subject matter. Basically Magnificent. I’m in addition a professional in this topic so i could recognize your energy.”

– Basically Magnificent? Can I use you as a reference when I apply to be his campaign media manager?


Don’t be a turd burglar! ) 

“I was starting to wonder whether I was likely to find good info on this topic. Thank goodness you are here. I’ll bookmark this content material….”

– Not gonna brag but I do know a good turd when I see one! I’ll send you a sample to bookmark.


( The High Line – A Garden Oasis In The NYC Sky )

dfslkflsd fsldk flsd fldsk flsdk flsdk lfksd lfks dlkfl

– Ack Ack Ack Ack!!! Are you Donald Duck on a drug trip or something?


Casual Observances & Demented Thoughts ) 

“Excellent goods from you, guy. I’ve comprehend your things previous to and you are just extremely superb. I truly like what you’ve acquired right here, certainly like what you’re stating and also the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining…”

– No one likes a brown noser. Keep kissing ass and see where that will get you. Thanks for the love though! Douche!


Subway Cell Phone Torture. Thanks NYC. What’s Next? ) 

“I really value this publish. I’ve been searching all over for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You’ve made my day! Thx again!”

– You found me on Bing? Along with the nude pics too? You’re welcome!


Candy, Candy, Candy! Memories of a husky kid )

“I savor, result in I found just what I was taking a look for. You have ended my 4 day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a good day. Bye”

– Your fat ass has been hunting for candy for four days? Ever hear of something called a store? Run along to Piggly Wiggly now tubby.


Bettibar NYC – a hidden speakesy in tourist central! )

“Alan Arkin pour ArgoRobert De Niro arsenal vs ac milan live Happiness TherapyPhilip Seymour Hoffman pour The MasterTommy Lee Jones pour LincolnChristoph Waltz pour Django Unchained ? LE CHOIX DES JOURNALISTES EB. selon un sondage Ifop-Fiducial chaussur…”

– Um, what? Is this the next cast of The Expendables 3? Fast & Furious 7? French porno filmed in a speakasy? I’m in!


Mr Sandman must hate New Yorkers )

“???? 2011 spring and summer bridal shoes with pure white and nude color to Dress holy beauty, light tulle romantic overflowing, there are preparations for the tall bride flat style….”

– So now my lack of sleep means I will be a cross dressing bride? Tell me I’m pretty!


NYC Public Breakups! Himiliation! Comedy! Despair! ) 

“Whoa! This is often one particular of the extremely beneficial weblogs We’ve ever before appear around about this subject matter. Fundamentally Wonderful. I am additionally a specialist on this matter so i could realize your effort.”

– So, you’re a specialist at getting dumped in public? Ha Ha! Looooooser!!!


( Pajama Bottoms in public? Why NYC? Why? )

 “compressed into the moment, into a extreme concentrate through which neither memory nor…”

– Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy…….


In NYC Big Brother is watching you -and helping you pee! )

“Hi there, It truly is a exceptional find for any fantastic web site equivalent to this. We loved that. Congratulations to you. Use a wonderful day time!…”

– Yes, I do deserve applause when I pee. Maybe a standing ovation when I poop too!


37 thoughts on “Spam Spam Spam Spam. Spammity Spam!”

  1. Hahaha I was actually talking to some friends of mine the other day about the fact that the majority of the compliments I’ve received on my blog have been from complimentary spam. I’ve never been told I need to hit the gym to fit in a wedding dress though :S

    1. Hey JP!

      I have received some strange ones – which I had kept them all. Thanks for commenting!

      Maybe one day I will fit in that dress…….

  2. This is one of my pet peeves! Say one nasty thing about gas prices, and everyone in Saudi Arabia spams the $#!+ out of you! Spammers are always my first choice for AOTW!

  3. These are down right funny!! I love your responses underneath. They are so annoying! I get more spam when i post stuff to sell on Craigslist. Where do these come from? crazy i tell ya!

  4. Although in general I find Spam a huge pain in the butt, I do find many of them funny too. Every Friday evening on my FB page I post the funniest spam comment of the week. It always gets people laughing.

  5. Phil, your Post has inspired me that you might be in need of a little serious Philosophy as I’ve once received:
    A Major Septic System Combines a Septic Tank and a Using System. Create a Web Business and Reach Billions Rather Than a Few Friends.

    1. Hey Peggy!

      In a crappy way that kind of makes sense. I smell a fortune about to be made. Don’t poo poo good advice like this.

      I’ll be here all week! Try the veal!

  6. Lols – this was awesome – i especially liked the “ack ack ack” part :))
    I am yet to get spam, but after reading your spam comments i can’t wait to laugh at mine lol
    Have a great day!

    1. Hey Julie!

      Thanks for dropping by and commenting! So glad I gave you some laughs today!

      I am sure you will get some spam soon – all us bloggers do! BTW – following you on Twitter and Bloglovin now. Your site is terrific looking.

      Ack Ack Ack! (saw Mars Attacks on HBO a few nights ago) 🙂

      1. Thanks for checking out my blog! I follow you through bloglovin and even made my bf instal bloglovin on his phone just so he could read your blog every now and then. He is not a ‘blogger’ person, so your blog is the only one he follows lol. We both used to live in bk, so your ‘NY-talk” is very familiar to us lol
        Keep up the good work! 🙂

        1. Hey Julie!

          Thanks so much for the great compliments! I really appreciate it!

          That’s funny that you got your BF to follow my blog. Now the pressure is on!

  7. Your spam comments are so much better than mine! The ones that make me hesitate are the overly flowerly, ones–with the adverbs and adjectives running amok–because I stop and wonder if it’s someone trying to be genuinely nice, but they are not familiar with English. Then again… it can be very amusing 🙂

    In other news… what the hell is a “world beater”?

    1. Hey Jean!

      The broken English ones are the funniest! It’s like – WTF are they saying?

      World Beater? Got me, but they did sound all excited about it! 🙂

    1. Hey Jules!

      I am sure some of it is pre-loaded bots just sending out spam to promote a product but some of it just too funny!

      Might as well laugh at it! 🙂

  8. I get loads of spam as well. I could understand it if they made sense but most of it is pure gobbledygook – they make no sense at all. There is no specific message and no particular sales pitch. What a waste of their time – not to mention ours.

    1. Hey Lanthie!

      Ye, but that is what makes some of them so funny! Most of it is a waste though, I’ll admit. At least the delete button always works!

  9. So what you’re saying is I shouldn’t immediately delete my spams once I’ve deduced that they’re actually spams because I could be seriously entertained by their inadvertent messages? 😉

  10. You had me cracking up. Those spam really suck and are a pain to read over and over again. I was getting some of the same kind of messages everyday. There were too many of them and I had no time to read them when they made zero sense. So I just adjusted the settings so that they couldn’t send me anymore. I got sick and tired of reading them, I had better things to do. It was more like 100 senseless spam messages a day I had to go through, but not anymore. I said bye bye to them.

    1. Hi Susana!

      Not everyone likes spam that’s for sure! I just get a kick out of reading some of the idiotic one. The rest I delete. I am saving some for a follow up post about it.

      Thanks for reading!

  11. You’ve analysed them well Phil. I recognise quite a few of those and they are the scourge of the committed blogger. I’ve particularly been hit with people trying to promote Nike, NFL shirts and ladies handbags.

    I’m quite frustrated with Word Press or the plugins updates. All my comments used to require moderator approval. Over the last month or so the odd few comments go live straight away and skip my approval. This is very annoying since I’m not on the blog 24 hours a day and some spam sneaks through. Also some genuine comments are filtered into spam and need releasing.

    What is also a concern is the number of hack attempts. I have pretty good security measures on my site (so I’m not overly concerned) but some people are very determined. I’ve seen hack attempts from California, Russia, the Balkan countries and a range of places around Asia. At times there can be 100+ attempts in an hour! Give it up guys my e-mail in box is filling up with failed log in attempt logs.

    1. Hey Guy!

      I am sure we have all received many similar messages. Mostly they are from some sort of computer bot, and others are indivials trying to get us to buy some cheap knockoffs. It’s pretty annoying and funny at times. Not too many get past my spam filter, and WordPress has done a good job. I also use Jetpack as a plugin which has worked well. Gonna keep my fingers crossed!

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

Feel free to comment! We all have opinions!