You a runner? You jog? Not me!

Mo-Farah-MemeI’m not a runner. Never have been, and never will be. I always see and hear about those who get up at the crack of dawn to get in their morning jog. I see them running through the city streets dodging traffic, running around those on the way to work, and trying to avoid crashing into baby carriages along the way. It can be a driving rain storm, a foot of snow in a blizzard, or even single digit frigid temperatures out and these hearty beings persevere so as to not miss one run. Personally, I think many of them are nuts! You won’t catch me out in that weather doing anything other than hitting a bar or picking up some Chinese food to take home to the couch. I’ll happily sit in a cafe with my cappuccino while relaxing in a comfy chair and watch you all huff and puff by.


I abhor running, yet, I have always played sports that I was constantly running around in. Soccer – mostly during warm ups and drills, but I played goalie. Track Team – cross country was my specialty, so go figure, I pick up a sport that is all about running. Rugby in college – running for my life during every match. Maybe that is why now as an adult I hate running. Every now and then I will go out jogging for a while. NYC has some terrific spots to run, especially in Central Park, and along the water areas. I try it for awhile but get bored easily. Even though I have been a personal trainer and fitness buff, and go to the gym regularly, I just can’t get into the running lifestyle. It’s just not for me. I respect those that do it, and know full well the physical fitness benefits, along with the calorie burning and weight loss results. Those that run marathons are truly dedicated, and love the sport.

funny-kids-running-clipartMaybe my mind works in warped ways. I will run or jog on my own grounds. I do enjoy using the treadmills at the gym and feel better jogging on them than out in the streets. Plus, it doesn’t seem to wreck my knees and lower back as much. My goal is to master the elliptical next. I suck wind on it. I want to incorporate a fitness regimen that utilizes both. Without collapsing in a puddle of sweat on the floor crying in a fetal position. It’s kind of embarrassing to see a grown man cry like a little girl, or like Lindsay Lohan when her vodka bottle is taken away from her. I don’t want to be “that guy”.

tired-runner-cartoonAlso, you ever see those dudes who get on a treadmill and run all-out on them grunting and groaning all the way? Usually these idiots get on the machine next to me with their b.o. and sweat flying all over the place. Ewww.


Then there are the idiots that want to have a full blown conversation with you when running on the treadmill. Even when I have my ear buds in listening to music or watching the tv. Who are these strange people? Why are you talking to me? Shaddup!


I also get those who run in sprint intervals next to me and stop every few minutes to take their pulse. Do you know how annoying that is? If I had a bat in my hands…..

Wait – how did I get off on this tangent? Warped mind.



Let’s hear it out there from all the runners and running impaired like myself. Why do you do it? Do you actually enjoy it? Do your knees ache? In the meantime I’ll just watch you run by as I am sitting in a pub drinking a cold brew.

31 thoughts on “You a runner? You jog? Not me!”

  1. Yeah…I hate running. But, I’m doing it. Why? Because I promised my editor friend that I’d do the Food And Wine half marathon at Disneyland. It’s something I have to work up to, so I’m doing my first 5K in March with some friends. I usually use my treadmill anyway, I’m just slowly a ping up both my speed & endurance. Hubby is one of those all out sweaty runners you talked about. Is it any wonder I don’t find him sexy when he’s working out, even if I love the end result?

    1. Hello Kitt!

      Good luck on that 5K. Now, a Fod & Wine run sounds just about right.

      Sweaty runner hubby? Well, there is always the shower together afterward to help wash the stank away! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. I am the same way! I love sports where I am tricked into running after a ball, but running on pavement doesn’t thrill me.. I do have a treadmill here at the house and “try” to hit it when I am not playing tennis.
    I am planning to hoola hoop today!

    1. Hi Susie!

      Considering you are such an athletic outdoors person I would have thought you liked to run. Tennis is a terrific sport to help keep lean. Drunk hoola hoop is good too!

      Does your treadmill have clothes hanging on it? ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. lol what timing. I was just thinking about running again when weather permits (me run in the cold and snow!? pshh!!) My running capacity is only about two miles but I find for me it jumps my metabolism faster and burns more calories than most exercises but totally agree it’s boring as hell!

    1. Hi Lizz!

      Thanks for dropping by and reading my blog!

      Yeah, screw this cold weather running crap! Sure, running will burn calories and help with weight control but it’s freaking boring!

      Running to a Yelp event is about the most I will run right now! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. i loathe running. My shins ache. My ankles hurt. My chest burns. If i am running, its probably from the cops.
    I can kick elliptical ass! The trick is to develop a tolerance for it. Back when i had money to have a trainer, he would put me on the elliptical for 5 minutes. FIVE measly minutes. It was to start my cardio with a pumping heart. Then he would have me jog on the treadmill for 30 mins then finish on the elliptical. Every week, he increased my time on the elliptical by mere minutes. I can last 30 -45 mins on that baby easy now. If i had room in the apartment, i would have an elliptical! its a miracle machine!

    1. Hi Mo!

      “My shins ache. My ankles hurt. My chest burns” – sounds like good sex?

      I’ll run once in a while – to a bar, a pizza shop, chasing an ice cream truck…..

      Still, I loathe running like you. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. when I was super into running a few years ago/ran my first and only 10 mile race (not as impressive as a marathon, but still pretty decent in terms of mileage), I think a lot of it at first was a masochistic drive to see if I could even do it–for me, even though I enjoy running, I’m horrible at it, so this was certainly a test of ability/perseverance. Once I started improving, I just kept pushing myself to improve my time, speed, etc. plus, for my body, outdoor running seems to be one of the best ways to get in shape. I’d love to get back into outdoor running this spring (too cold for me now) and I’m trying to get into the groove a bit on the treadmill, which is incredibly different than outdoor running, but still decent prep.

    1. Hey Melly- Mel!

      I am impressed you ran that! I hope a bar was included at the end of the race!

      Still, I just hate running now. Mastering the elliptical is my goal. Too cold to go out running now. Unless we are running to a bar! ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. I’m with you. I used to teach aerobics and I still love going to classes (when I get the chance… which is never), and at one point was pretty into the elliptical… but running makes me want to die. I just HATE it. I know it’s a good workout. I know it is because it causes muscles I never even knew I had to ache, but it is freaking torture.

    That said, a friend and I just signed up for a 5k so… eh, we’ll see.

    1. Hey Jill!

      Torture is a good word for it! Sure, it’s good exercise until your knees and back start killing you.

      It is kind of funny when I see one of these runners step in dog shit! Hahahaha!

      Good luck on that 5K. You better be drinking after it! ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Out here I see some really skinny people running out in the streets in 10 degree weather in shorts and with no sweater. Not only they are too skinny and don’t need to lose any more weight, I think they are nuts to be wearing shorts when it is snowing and freezing out here. The only time I like to go jogging is in the summertime, or when it is nice and warm and sunny. I will not run out in the streets into the traffic , that’s just nuts. There’s a country side road out here where I can enjoy my run out next to the woods. There’s no traffic and barely any people out that way. And I won’t be getting inti anyone’s way ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Hey Susana!

      I agree with you. It can be 10 degrees out and people are running in shorts and a t-shirt. Idiots.

      Also, people jogging and running constantly get in the way on the sidewalks. I want to clothes-line them sometimes!

  8. I have a wonky hip so have a really good excuse for not running (or exercising for that matter). I just can’t see the point of it all.

  9. Too funny and spot on!

    I do run, but only when the weather is good – certainly not right now in the snow and ice. Also, won’t even consider running in the rain or hot humidity. If I am lucky I get out for about 3 weeks of the year. Definite fair weather runner!

    Have a great weekend.

    Kate x

    1. Hi Kate!

      I hate the rain and humidity to begin with! Give me an air conditioned gym to treadmill on. Fair weather runner too!

      Glad you liked my post! ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. I use to really enjoy running on a treadmill down the gym then I did it on the streets for a while, but yes, I got hit by boredom. It is a real good way to lose weight very quickly but no fun on your own. Round where I live you always get the posh lot wearing the latest fashionable outfits with accessories, they’re just ‘showing off’ as you can clearly see that their stick thin bodies don’t need a workout at all (jealous). In fact they need something to eat ๐Ÿ™‚

    Had to laugh when you mentioned someone trying to hold a conversation whilst running, because for me it’s hard enough trying to control your breathing without chatting along the way. Maybe it’s because I was no pro, ha ha.
    I would like to start running again though. It’s a quick way to get those lungs back in form and there’s no harm in adding a dash of rum to the water bottle – keeps you running with a smile on your face and a little wobble in the legs, ha ha ha but don’t tell, as everyone just thinks I’ve been running too long…..

    1. Hi Rum Punch!

      I like that rum in the water bottle idea! I might fall off the treadmill though!

      I agree running is a great way to get in shape and burn calories but it is boring to me. I know I need to start it again soon whether I like it or not.

      Thanks for reading!

  11. I’ve never been a fan of running. It’s too solitary for me and even if you get to see some vistas along the way, it does get boring. And I don’t understand those who run on the treadmill. Isn’t it pointless to run for minutes or even hours without going anywhere? ๐Ÿ™‚ But I do it bec. it’s good for endurance training which I need for climbing. Great post!

    1. Hi Diane!

      I agree it does get boring and too solitary. I will jog on the treadmill to keep in shape and burn calories. Plus, they have tv’s!

      Glad you liked my post! ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Running can be very therapeutic, but I can definitely see that soccer and the like would be more fun from an interactivity point of view. Since I was in the military running was a form of interaction, I really enjoyed running and calling cadence, creating those fun sons on the fly and having everyone sing along.

    Even now at times I’ll run with the cadence on my ipod and I enjoy it very much. Something about moving forward, the wind blowing against my face, the changing scenery, I very much enjoy running.

    I do not like running on a treadmill though, that’s very hamster like and I really don’t enjoy it. It bores me to no end. But to your points, I also enjoyed a game of football, and other sports as well. Particularly my combat sports such as boxing and grappling. But you know that.

    1. Hi Angel,

      Thanks for reading bud! I know you did like running but are you still doing it?

      I am not a fan of running outside. I like being a hamster in an air conditioned gym with a tv in front of me!

  13. Hi,
    For my part, since I was a young girl, I almost promised myself that I would never only run for sport. I have always hated it!
    But since last september, everything changed! Now I am running almost every two days for about 3-4K for a very simple reason. I moved out during the summer and I have no car. There was no ways to do any sport around without one so I had to find a way not to stop completly!
    Anyway thank you for your very funny post^^
    I appriciated alot!

    1. Hello Melanie!

      Thank you for reading my blog and commenting. Glad you thought it was funny!

      Looks like you had to run anyway. Even though you hate it! Time to get a car!

  14. I hate running. I have bad knees. Thats my excuse so i’ll be over here enjoying my wine and playing on my ipad in my spare time. Y’all have fun running.

  15. When I was in my early twenties I was a professional dancer and then when I hurt myself I started doing marathons. Then I had kids and now I love my treadmill ๐Ÿ™‚ I have mine set up in front of my tv so I can run and watch at the same time. Everyone in my house knows that for my hour of treadmill not to talk or annoy me. I can’t stand other people when I am working out ๐Ÿ™‚ The first pic made me laugh, because it actually does happen. The other gross thing is all the throw up right next to the finish line of marathons. There are always so many people that lose control both ways, which is so gross! Luckily that never happened to me, if it had I don’t think I would ever run again!!!

  16. I’m totally running impaired. My parents and sister are all runners, so I’m the odd one out. I’ll go to the gym and do the elliptical, and I enjoy walks, but if I could I’d get all my exercise from hockey (actually, sometimes I do, it but that just means I’m only exercising 1-2 times a week, which isn’t the best). I walked a 5k once, but yeah, I’ll never be a runner.

Feel free to comment! We all have opinions!