Why do I put myself through this?
That was the thought that ran through my mind as the wind ripped across my back, and sent a shiver down to my bones, as if Mother Nature herself pummeled me with snowballs. The weather had been a bit warmer here in NYC, so I decided to jump into the NYCRUNS Cocoa Classic 5K in Riverside Park on a Saturday morning a few weekends ago. Well, warmer by winter standards as it had been in the 30’s and 40’s most of the week leading up to the race. I had no clue, as was the case with many of the other race participants I encountered, that the temps would take an overnight nose-dive into the teens. At race time it was 19 degrees, with a wind chill that made it feel half that. Also, considering it was already windy and the race course was in the park along the water, surely made for a mind-numbing frigid run. Thank goodness it was a sunny clear day out.
Can we say, “frostbite conditions”? More like “freezing our kibbles and bits off”! That’s putting it lightly!
By end of race I was numb from waist down, and my family jewels felt like two ice cubes in my pants. I can’t complain, as it was my first official organized race of the year and did pretty well. I have not run much during this past month as the weather and arctic-like cold has kept me off the streets. Mainly gym workouts and runs on the boring treadmill. I was pleased with my performance, and even happier I did not blow out a hammy or cramp up. 5K’s at Riverside Park are always a bit challenging even for experienced runners as it offers many hills, inclines, and uneven pathways to run on. It’s definitely a good workout, and one earns that event shirt or finisher medal here.
In fact, it got colder as it dropped a degree as I crossed the finish line. Grabbed my frozen bagel, rock hard banana, and put them in my bag to eat later. No reason to stand around and become a human icicle. Had a quick cup of hot cocoa, then off to the nearest Starbucks for a coffee, to recharge my phone, and defrost my
junk nether regions nuts and bolts manhood.
As I plopped down in a seat near an outlet I plugged in and surfed the web a bit. Some of the things I have read lately involving
people knuckleheads morons idiots in this country leave me slack-jawed. The top of the list? The Tide Pod Challenge. How much of a total imbecile do you have to be to put laundry detergent in your mouths? Really? As a child I remember how horrible it tasted when my mom put soap in my mouth when I said naughty words. Damn, I hate the taste of a sour grape when I’m eating a bowl of them and spit it out in disgust. Can you imagine having acidic detergent in your mouth and all over your tongue? Doesn’t sound like too much fun to me. The more things that Millennials do to make us shake our heads, and now they come up with something to top it. Sorry, Millennials, I don’t mean to bash you all, but you must admit this is the pinnacle of stupidity when it comes to your generation.
Well, so far it is. We’ll see what you all come up with next!
But wait, there’s more!
Speaking of naughty words, when did TV shows all of a sudden cross the line to now use almost every curse word or derogatory term that was never allowed to be broadcast in the past? Words that I got a smack in the back of the head for using as a child. Where is George Carlin nowadays when you need him to recite the “Seven Dirty Words” bit he made famous? Personally, I don’t have much of a problem with most as they make me chuckle, and do admit to using colorful language at times myself. Yet, are show writers inserting these words into the scripts to get attention, and perhaps elicit a shock factor from the viewers? Or, are these words so accepted now in everyday life that we, as a society, have become unaffected by the mere mention of them in today’s vocabulary?
Food for thought?
Something to chew on?
Hopefully, not Tide Pods!
4 thoughts on “Tide Pods, Hot Cocoa, Naughty Words, and My Frozen Kibbly Bits.”
I know a guy who volunteered for that run. He probably handed you your cocoa. He had to stand out there from 7AM.
Y’all can keep that.
Your running is so impressive!
Unrelated to that: Don’t go blaming my generation for the Tide idiocy. It’s the unnamed, post-millennial generation of teens actin’ like fools. Millenials are all adults now.
Wow – you are a diehard runner. I wouldn’t even go outside in such conditions much less run. Glad you finished and didn’t suffer any severe damage to your person.
And, don’t get me started on the stupidity of a certain younger generation. Good grief.
Enjoy the cocoa and Starbucks. Spring is coming, or so they say.
w/a Jansen Schmidt
Congrats on the race. Good for you!