It’s Totally Bro-Tastic!!!

Now that Friday is here after a long work week the weekend is beckoning with evenings of bar hopping and debauchery. The afternoons will be swollen with pubs broadcasting college sports and baseball, while the nights will be overflowing with partiers. Beer will be flowing. Cocktails will be served. Dancing will be had. Debauchery will be on the agenda.

Most of all the BRO’s will be out in full effect! All looking alike as they head out for the evening in their matching clothing choice of BRO-niforms. What? You don’t know this look? You don’t recognize what I am talking about? Well, let me paint a picture for you. Take it from me as I have seen this look over and over and over. I live on the Upper East Side where it’s BRO central. Up and down along 2nd Avenue is a litany of frat bars and sports pubs. It’s the place to go on weekends for the frat boys and sorostitutes who follow them. Let’s break this down, shall we?

There used to be a time when guys would take some effort in their look when going out at night. Today, not so much. Maybe it’s because we live in a much more casual society nowadays. Maybe it’s because many guys just don’t care anymore. Maybe it’s because many of the girls that go for these Bro’s have just lowered their standards and will take what they can get. Sure, there’s a time to be casual and a bit messy looking even, but not every time when going out. I must say that I do notice women put a lot more effort into their look and outfits when heading out for an evening. Big props for the sexy ladies. For the guys that also make an effort big props for bringing sexy back! To the BRO’s that don’t care much, well, please take a look at yourselves just a bit. Look at your BRO to your left. Look at the BRO to your right. Yup, you all look like BRO-triplets!

The look is not too hard to put together. I guess that’s why it is easier to do. Here are the basics –

1) Jeans

2) Button down collared shirt

3) Black or brown shoes

4) Shirt must never be tucked in

There it is. The BRO-niform! The BRO night out look. Sometimes there are a few alternate styles as with the BRO wearing the hat on backwards look, the BRO hipster t-shirt and sweater look, and the BRO scruffy pullover collared shirt look. Pop those collars BRO!


(Also, be aware that the BRO-niform never accessorizes with an umbrella or heavy winter coat even if it is pouring rain or freezing cold out. Can’t cramp the BRO-style when clubbing!)

Walking down 2nd Avenue late on weekend nights you can always find a few BRO’s that have had a bit too much booze at the bars. There are always the drunken mess BRO’s that are left outside by their buds to go puke in private while they are inside the bar trying to hook up. They usually drool all over their BRO-niforms and are done for the night.

Then there are usually a few BRO’s that get beer muscles and think they are all bad. Fights ensue over some chick they both like, a drink getting spilled on the BRO-niform, or mad some other BRO wore the same exact BRO-niform. (Huh? Aren’t they all alike?) You mad BRO? You mad?

Well, I hope this little expose’ explained the BRO-niform phenomenon as I have observed it living here all these years on the UES in Manhattan. It truly never seems to go away or differ much. I wonder if this look is everywhere. Where have you seen it? Do you wear the BRO-niform when heading out to party on the weekends?

May the BRO-Force be with you!



18 thoughts on “It’s Totally Bro-Tastic!!!”

    1. Hahahaha! That is pretty funny. It sounds like you have him chained to your bed! 😉

      Well, he has all of us sickos as friends now! Thanks for reading.

  1. I found a flask yesterday evening in “Hot Topic” with Jesus on it that said “Come at me Bro” and thought about you and this post. It was Bro Tastic and so should have gotten that for you filbio.

  2. Another fun post.

    I prefer the casual bro look but without beer running down the front of the shirt. Friday night barhopping. I remember it well. I used to live on 25th Street between 2nd and 3rd Avenue. Before that, in Tudor City. I had a one-room apartment with a Murphy bed. I considered the bathroom a second room.

    1. Thanks for reading. That is cool that you lived here and did the bar hopping scene downtown. Yup, some apartments are small but rents are high! Appreciate the comment!

  3. Ah, yes. I’m well aware of the BROniform (big fan of the portmanteau, btw… or, as I usually say, that fancy word that I can’t remember until I google it).

    Reminds me of my going out in Murray Hill days.

    1. LOL! I work in the Murray Hill/Flatiron area. On Friday nights I see this look everywhere. Like an army of them. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  4. I don’t tend to wear a Bro uniform, but I’ve been known to put the occasional “sis” uniform. You know, plaid catholic schoolgirl skirt stopping midthigh, white men’s shirt tied at the waist, unbuttoned till atleast the 3rd button showing off some sexy, lacy camisole. (If it’s winter, I add a touch of daring and throw on my black biker jacket)

    1. Hey Kitt!

      OK – what porn flicks have you done wearing that? Fess up! And place links here! 😉

      Or, are you just trying to tease all the male readers here? Not fair!

      1. Hah! Porn stars would’ve had that skirt stop at the bottom of the ass cheek. 😉 And if I’ve ever gotten in front of a camera lens I was never crazy enough to do it for mass production purposes or to use anyone else’s video equipment. 😡

        But seriously…teasing? That’s a woman’s prerogative. And done right, can lead to very enjoyable results for all parties involved.

Feel free to comment! We all have opinions!