As spoken in the voice of Sean Connery – “When you dine with The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen you expect a feast of legendary proportions. No fussy appetizers or namby pamby minuscule entrees. Men of adventure demand large portions of mouth watering meat and the finest whiskeys to wash them down with. Trebek – your mother enjoyed a fine piece of meat last night too!”
I have always wanted to enjoy a meal at Keens Steakhouse with the company of good friends who appreciate a delicious slab of meat, a quality drink, and historic surroundings. Just walking into the front lobby you are greeted by a selection of age old pipes that belonged to iconic figures from the past – Abraham Lincoln, John Barrymore, Teddy Roosevelt, Babe Ruth, General Douglas MacArthur, Albert Einstein, and many others. These clay pipes can be viewed all long the ceilings and walls of Keens, as they own the world’s largest collection of churchwarden pipes in the world – close to 90,000. Each room at Keens breathes history and the past is well preserved here. Dark woods, brass accents, and old paintings adorn the walls. A bit decadent – yes – but modernly casual at the same time as there is no dress code here. Come as you are and be prepared for a meal among the ghosts of the past.
The seven of us partook in a meal that was truly epic in nature. The waitstaff on this evening was outstanding, and perfectly suitable for what we our needs commanded. Our waiter Allen was a proud Scotsman with a dry wit and zinging humor. Get to the point, order your food, and get down to business. The way it should be among men.
Baskets of bread and veggie slices with blue cheese dip were placed on the table. As appetizers most of us ordered the thick-cut smoked bacon which was mouthwateringly good with a bit of smokiness to it. As sides for the table we ordered multiple plates of creamed spinach, mashed potatoes, and boiled baby potatoes. Each one was terrific in it’s own right. By the end there was not a drop left in those plates. As main entrees a few went right to the famous mutton chop, some went for a sirloin or filet. I would have none of that on this evening as I was ready to bear down on their colossal Prime Rib of Beef – King’s Cut.
This had to be one of the most outstanding pieces of meat I have ever eaten! Absolutely cooked just right. Seared on the outside. Pink and juicy on the inside. Amazingly thick. I had to finish it off, and surely I did. Happily, I may add. The two sazerac cocktails I consumed along with it were the perfect accompaniment. Also, the fact that they offer over 200 bottles of single-malt scotch reads like a novel and is quite impressive.
All in all, our dinner at Keens was superb. Money was no object on this evening, as can be expected a steakhouse of this caliber will render a nice sized dent in your wallet, and we knew that going in, but it was oh-so-worth it!
Seriously, if you are a guy and can’t enjoy a meal like this then it’s time to hand in your man card, schedule a dress fitting, get a mani-pedi and Brazilian, rent a chick flick like “The Notebook” to cry over, and then bond with your girl friends over a Sex and The City marathon while eating bon bons.
If you want the quintessential manly man’s meat eating experience then Keens Steak House is an appropriate choice, especially if dining with a group of affable gents. Thank you gentlemen, for sharing this experience with me.