Sometimes I really feel that companies who advertise think the American public are mindless stupid sheep. Do they really think we are that dumb? I’m one of those guys that has been around the block a few times, and have even become possibly a bit jaded living all these years in NYC. It takes a lot to pull the wool over this dude’s eyes. I can smell a scam a mile away. I don’t get fooled too easily or caught up in hype. Lately, I have seen and experienced things that make me laugh at the gall some businesses have. It has gotten to the point of exasperation with the ridiculousness of it all. I think it’s time for a ranting and raving session!
I saw probably the bazillionth car commercial last night that touts its “highway mileage”. Has anyone noticed over the last few years that car companies refuse to talk about the “city mileage” anymore in any of their commercials? We all know that cars get better gas mileage while driving longer distances on a highway, but most people use their cars for local driving. The automobile companies think they can fool us with the better highway number while ignoring that fact of the lower city mileage totally. I don’t know why it irks me considering I don’t own a car but it does.
The airlines are another one with their baggage fees. It’s a joke on the flying public, and a bad one at that. Now that it generates millions in revenue for the airlines it will never go away. I know I might catch some heat for this next rant but here it goes. Why do I get charged extra baggage fees for overweight luggage, but the very overweight person flying next to me is not charged for carrying extra weight on the plane with their body? If my bag is ten pounds over the weight limit I get stuck with paying more, but the person next to me who is sixty pounds overweight strolls on with no penalty. Does that make sense? All this extra weight is going on the same plane isn’t it?
Ever notice how the ads for that juicy burger, taco, or crispy fried chicken always looks so much better on the ads? Then we you go get one it looks like it’s been hit with a sledgehammer or dumped in a vat of grease? It’s amazing how agencies for fast food companies have made this an art form in trickery. They lure us in with drool inducing food images then serve us up a mediocre version of it. Yet, we still eat it.
Psychics have to be the biggest ruse I have ever seen. They have been popping up all around the city here. It amazes me that people really go to one, waste their hard earned money on them, and believe in anything they say. There is no such thing as a person who can contact the dead, decipher your future, or otherwise. There has never been, nor will there ever probably be any real hardcore scientific proof that psychics are real. It’s trickery at its finest. Most every psychic has been proved to be a hoax. Psychics play on the vulnerable with deception and a set of scam artists skills. You choose your own path in life, and there are many to take that determine how your life plays out. It’s called free will. Also, none have ever wanted to have their abilities tested under laboratory conditions and passed. Save your money and buy a lottery ticket as you have a better chance with that than handing over your cash to Miss Cleo!
What is it now with the car dealerships advertising cars using the lingo “pre-owned” or “gently driven” to describe what is really a USED car! It’s a damned USED car people! We used to always call them “used cars”. It’s all I could afford growing up. It’s what many of us bought as our first car to get around unless you were one of the few spoiled by your parents who purchased a brand new car for them. If someone else owned the car before you, drove it on a daily basis, and had it for any amount of time, it’s a USED car! Period!
So, are you really going to have me believe that all those young, beautiful, sexy girls are sitting around at midnight on a Friday or Saturday evening waiting for some faceless schlub loser to call them on the phone and hook up with them? The tv ads for all the “love connection” and “dating line” services make me roll my eyes. You really have to be a desperate and dumb man to waste your money calling these numbers and hoping to score with a chick that looks like a porn star in the commercials. Meanwhile, it’s probably some other schlub on the other end talking to you. Or another dude!
The public really has to be a bunch of morons to think all those diet pills that are advertised on tv and magazines really work. You can lose 30 pounds in 30 days! No dieting involved! No going to the gym and wasting your time lifting weights or boring treadmill workouts. Just take these pills or sprinkle this stuff on your food and the pounds will magically melt off! You will be a new person in no time with very little exercising involved! Say goodbye to that bloated tummy and back fat! Jeez people, really? Again, none of these things really work. Eat sensible nutritious meals, exercise, drink plenty of fluids, and move! Nothing works better than hard work and sweat. Avoid all the BS pills and fad diets.
Once and for all it’s called CHRISTMAS! Not happy holidays, merry holiday, or any other strange term this obnoxiously over politically correct country has invented. The correct way to say it is MERRY CHRISTMAS! It has been, always was, and forever will be CHRISTMAS! Now go jump off a bridge while I enjoy my cup of peppermint hot mocha!
Happy holidays my ass.
Wonder how McDonald’s make those burgers they use in the ads. I’ve never had anything from McD that looked just slightly like what’s on the menu pics:)
Hey Mitzie!
I hear ya. I still love their french fries though. At least those look kind of the same.
Preach it
I’m right there with you, ok I am a transplanted NYer so that may have a bit to do with it. BUT really America have we gotten that stupid or rather clueless?
Your first meme says it perfectly.
Hey Lady!
Stupid and clueless and they know it! Hense all the shady advertising.
Phil, I can’t express how much I am in the mood for a rant and a rave day! LOL although I’m one of the stupid public who never noticed the gas mileage ad! on the other hand, I’m on my second Prius- a concept which frankly offers one of the last bastions on reasonable transportation costs and I’m scratching my head as to why every family does not own one. Another LOL- prior to the Prius’s – I owned a ‘pre-owned’ BMW, a year old- but frankly a huge discount from the drive off the showroom cost no matter how its phrased. This being said- I feel plenty enough jaded, but maybe my topic mentions only serve in part as examples that as Americans we each have to accept responsibility for the ‘dumming down’ of America. Oh and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Hey Peggy!
Well, I am glad I satisfied your ranting cravings! Haha! Merry Christmas!
You are so right on all accounts……it is all incredibly ridiculous!!! Can I just say, that guy wearing the poor excuse for a skirt….I shivered – junk peaking out and those man boobs – just about as big as mine. I seriously doubt if I will be able to get that out of mind for quite so time…so thanks for that….oh, and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
Hey Julie!
So glad I have implanted the man of your dreams in your mind now. Merry Christmas!
Love this! The fad diets especially crack me up. If it was that easy to lose weight no one would be fat! Speaking of which, I once made the same argument to an airline that weight is weight, why does it matter, and I got a very sensible answer: baggage handlers. They are moving luggage all day long and hurt themselves with overweight bags, so the airlines need some disincentive for people packing enormous suitcases. Made sense to me and I never bitched again. Well, about that, anyway
Hey Jill!
Yeah, the diet pill commercials make me laugh.
As for the baggee fee reasoning I still think it’s a scam, since if that was really the case then why wasn’t all the extra baggage fees they nail us with nowadays was not enforced decades ago?
Oh my gosh, so much “yes” just happened. This post freaking made my day. Thank you.
Hey Emilie!
So glad I put a smile on your face and made your day a bit happier! Yes!
One of your best, Phil. This rant cracked me up:
“Ever notice how the ads for that juicy burger, taco, or crispy fried chicken always looks so much better on the ads? Then we you go get one it looks like it’s been hit with a sledgehammer or dumped in a vat of grease?”
I always got a kick out of those Christmas, excuse me, holiday commercials where the wife walks out the front door to see her husband bought her a Lexus tied up in a big red bow. As if I’m going to watch that and say, “Wow! I’m going to see what I have in the change jar and then run out now and pick up a $65,000 automobile as a little stocking stuffer for the Mrs.” The ribbon itself probably costs $125.
Hey John!
Thanks for the nice word! I ytry my best.
Yeah, I always laugh at those car commercials too. Then again, if someone bought me a classic Mustang Mach 1 or Shelby and put a ribbon on it I would not complain!
This is one of the reason’s I’m so glad I don’t have little kids any more. I spent years trying to explain that all those things they saw on commercials were just not true. And you know so many of those commercials are aimed right at our kids . . .
Hey Karen!
That is true. So much of the ads we see are aimed at kids along with gullible adults too.
All I can say is, “Word!”
Hey UP!
Word indeed! Such a joke it is.
LOL too funny! Hey, I have an award for you on my site today. Swing by and grab it!
Hwy Mother!
Thanks so much for the award nomination! Glad you got a chuckle here.
Well said! I didn’t jump off a bridge but how was that peppermint mocha?!
Hey Cowboys!
Thanks! That pepperment mocha hit the spot! Now time for a real non advertised meal!
I guess the point is that obviously Americans ARE that dumb or don’t care enough to try and change the system in any way or else advertising companies and the like wouldn’t be using the techniques they’re using.
I was going to say about the excess baggage, too, but Jill Foer Hirsch beat me to it.
Hey Kathleen!
Thanks so much for dropping by my blog and commenting!
True, the public is fed this stuff because they don’t know better anymore.
As for the baggage fees, I still don’t know. It only seems recently they enforce it and charge for a second bag. If they were so concerned why was this not pushed so hard on the public decades ago? Hmmmm…….
That was priceless. I love to read a good rant every now and then and this one was hilarious. Merry Christmas.
Hey Justin!
Thanks for dropping by and commenting!
Glad you enjoyed a touch of my crazy mind! We all need a good rant now and then.
Too funny. I do love euphemisms!!!
Hey Justin!
Thanks for dropping by and commenting!
Glad you enjoyed a touch of my crazy mind! We all need a good rant now and then.
Hey Betsy!
Glad you got a good laugh!
I enjoyed reading this all the way down. The commercials are very annoying. I noticed how they make the food from the fast food places look so good. They never taste that good when I order them. And I agree with you about the diet pills. How can anyone lose 30 pounds in 30 days? They will just gain it all back.
Hey Susana!
Glad to see you agree. It’s all funky advertising and tricks to try and get us the spend and believe al this junk.
Go get ’em, Phil.
Though, I won’t lie, I’m all about going to a psychic one day. I want to do it to blog about it, so I find the investment worthy. I just think it would be a hoot.
As for the holiday thing, I agree with you to a point. There are other denominations who don’t celebrate Christmas, but I agree it’s ridiculous that everything now is “happy holidays.” Come on, people. Everything doesn’t have to be “PC.”
Good post.
Hey PJ!
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed.
Agree that we are too over PC now. As for the psychi save your cash, and spend it on some good beer!
I have the same issue here with adverts so rant away…..
Hey Lanthie!
Than I guess the stupidity is not just here in the states!
You tell ’em, Phil! You are so right that the car ads are about ‘highway’ mileage rather than ‘city’ driving… Good insights!
Hey Christy!
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed my take on thinhs with this rant.
Yes, yes most of ‘Murica really IS that stupid. Never doubt it, diet pills are always a bigger seller, no matter how badly they perform, how they mess with your system, or how horrible the economy is. Liquor, cigarettes and diet pills are always great sellers.
I agree with this rant, but I have to put my 2 cents in when I see people screaming about the word “Christmas.” I get it, religious people don’t want you taking away their “Christ” but sometimes people have Jewish, agnostic, and other friends and they just want to cover Thanksgiving, New Years and everything else in one fell swoop. I’ll never stop using “Happy Holidays”, I don’t care what anyone says about it. If Jesus himself came to me, I would tell him “Happy Holidays, bro, love the goatee.”
Hey Joy!
Welcome to AMURRICA!
Yup – stupidity in advertising does rule and we buy into it.
Eh, I’m over the PC thing for the holidays. If we did that to any other religions high holy holidays they would yell bloody murder!
I will say, however, that I would never be offended by “Merry Christmas” if that’s what you celebrate, that’s what you should say. Say what you want, it’s YOUR America, too.
Very true Joy, true. Merry Christmas!
Great observations as ever Phil. Whilst many of us can see through all the marketing hype and the way things are spun there are plenty of dumb people who cannot. Playing on people’s stupidity it a big business.
One of my favourite cons took place a few years ago. There was yet another “end is nigh” doom and gloom prediction of the end of the world. A specific time and date was given although there was no clear indication scientific/militarily/political of how the end would come. Some smart bloke played on this fear and how many bought into the idea. The guy offered a service where for an upfront fee, he promised to look after the customers pets if the world ended. Many people were dumb enough to take out this ridiculous insurance and he made a nice bit of money from it.
Hey Guy!
As the old saying goes “there is a sucker born every minute” and “a fool and his money are soon parted”.
I can remember trying to make my bowl of cereal look like the one on the box. Then I later learned that Elmer’s glue was strategically placed. Since then it’s always made me wonder, what is that “really”. For the length of time actors seem to chew chinese food, I wonder if it was glazed gum they just put in their mouth with a chopstick. I totally agree with you on that luggage/airline thing. Ridiculous.
Hey Kenya!
Elmer’s glue? Chewy Chinese food? I think I’ll just have a salad for lunch today now.
Anyone else remember the “Joe Isuzu” commercials? The pitch man makes wild claims about the vehicle and underneath subtitles say “He’s lying.” Refreshing and hilarious.
Hey Astro!
I used to love Joe Isuzu! The ultimate used car saleman!
Very funny post, and mostly true. Wait, psychics aren’t real??? 🙂
I do think the diet pill ads prey on people, and that’s sad. But the same can be said for a ton of marketing. It does irk me when the marketing is skewed specifically to confuse to trick people. Sucks, don’t it? effers. Merry Christmas, btw. I’m fine with happy holidays, too. Either one gets the job done. To each his own, and all that.
Hey Beth!
So glad you got a chuckle!
Most marketing preys on people. It’s all smoke and mirrors. Most people are too much like sheep to figure it out.
Heck, happy holidays does not really bother me. It’s only when the self righeous morons use it purposely to put down Christmas and what that day really means to many.
I’m giving you extra points for your use of a Mr. Spock picture.
Hey Mary!
Gotta love old Star Trek funnies! The nerd in me can’t help myself!
I love this post! You hit the nail on the head especially about the car dealerships not talking about the city mileage. Also it is USED cars. For awhile, I was confused about what PRE-Owned was and then I realized it meant USED cars. I guess it’s a better way to be more sophisticated just like if you call an apartment community instead of apartment complex. Most people say apt complex though. I have to say I will never buy a NEW car ever again! Used cars are good enough for me.
Ha! I laughed when you wrote about the baggage and the overweight people. I think you have a valid point and it’s stupid that we get charged more for heavier bags.
I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving Phil! Take care and Happy Holidays!! LOL j/k
Hey Bella!
So glad you enjoyed this one. It was a good rant that I needed to get off my chest!
Have a great Thanksgiving and happy man-hunting! 😉
Dude… You just called them ALL out! Haha The luggage fee is redundant, considering the great disparity of the weight of passengers – They don’t weigh people. I always wondered if it would come to that.
My personal hatreds are the psychics, I feel like they make money off of others pain and loss. Those frauds need to be shut down.
The late-night chat line girls are fun, though. Commercials are so over the top… I mean, come on. Amber isn’t home alone on a Friday night waiting for your call. Just silly 🙂
Hey Jean!
What? That hot chick on the tv commercials is not sitting by the phone on a Friday night waiting for my call? Blasphemy!
Glad you got a kick out of this one! Happy holidays and thanks for following my blog!