You sick bro? How this New Yorker reacts to the flu.

29529059Yup, it’s that time of year when seemingly everyone around us has some sort of flu bug, virus, or cold. It’s the season of sickness and despair. We see multiple reports from healthcare organizations telling us (again) that this year will be the worst flu strain on record. We must go out and get flu shots! Don’t go to work! Stay home! Don’t venture out in public if sick! Sneeze and cough into your arm! Don’t touch your eyes, mouth, or nose! Don’t shake hands! Use hand sanitizer! Wash your hands! Don’t have sex!

(Well, that last one I am drawing the line. Unless I’m sick, or she is, and vomiting. Gotta have limits.)

Seems like overkill. Yet, the funny thing is, I agree with a lot of this. I just wish the selfish disease and plague-ridden public would also adhere to these warnings and stay home!


Hey, I know that in this day and age with the economy being what it is and all, that many people need to work and can’t afford to take days off. I get that. It’s those idiots that continually get sick and still go into work anyway even though they have sick days coming to them and can afford to be out for a few days. The flu is contagious people!


I see them all on the subway in the morning. Watery eyes. Coughing up phlegm bombs. zombieSneezing out snot everywhere. The subway cars are like a rolling petri dish of bubonic plague! If you are trapped in one of these cars and can’t escape you are doomed! It really can ruin your whole day just thinking about the a-hole who kept coughing and sneezing behind you on the subway ride this morning that took forever. Honestly, as soon as I get on the train and I detect anyone with the slightest look of a cold I jump off. I will literally dive out onto the platform to avoid being surrounded by these people. They infect everyone, and even though they know it, just don’t care. Stay home or take a cab to wherever you are going! Wear a mask if you have to! Stop coughing near me!

vomitThen you get to work and there are those coworkers who keep insisting it’scold just a head cold. They have been sick for days, or even over a week, and keep coughing up loogies, and sneezing all over everything. They insist they don’t have a fever yet are sweating bullets, vomiting, and maybe also experiencing explosive diarrhea! Will they go see a doctor? Hell no. Great, now I have to work in fear and hide in my office with the door closed all day.

Don’t even get me started on those who are sick and still insist on hitting the gym, going out to eat, seeing a movie, or being out shopping. It just seems like these germ incubators can’t stay home for one day!

771490-puke_superOn top of this then you have those that insist on keeping a social life going when sick. They just can’t give up going out for a few days or a week for fear that they might miss out on happy hour, the game, or a good time at the bar/club. I’ve seen sick Joe Meathead on a few occasions end up puking his brains out because he would rather pound down beers and shots rather then stay home and take their meds to get better. Morons!

I’ll just keep avoiding all sick people as much as possible. Take my vitamins. Pound downzorb vitamin C. Exercise. It’s a long winter flu and cold season but we just need to get through a few more months until spring.

In the meantime, we all can’t live in a plastic bubble, right?



34 thoughts on “You sick bro? How this New Yorker reacts to the flu.”

  1. As someone who got a stomach virus out of nowhere (AKA work), i agree if you are sick you should stay home. Norovirus is extremely contagious- if you are shitting and puking to that extent, stay the fuck home. Wasted a sick day today because i give a fuck about my coworkers and refuse to spread the virus. BR is a dif story- he can have the virus. lol
    Monique recently posted…Capital Grille: Wall StreetMy Profile

    1. Hi Mo!

      So sorry your are sick. Hope BR doesn’t get it from you now!

      Sometimes you just need to eat a sick day or two and stay home to get better. So many people, and bosses too, just don’t get that. They would rather come in an infect everyone. I literally ran out of a subway car today when I heard someone sneeze! 🙂
      filbio310 recently posted…You sick bro? How this New Yorker reacts to the flu. My Profile

  2. Germ incubators…LOL! They are rude and sickenening. Pun intended. I try to avoid people this time of the year, too. One sneeze can infect hundreds of people. All those horrible airborne germs spraying indiscrimnately across a room. Too bad you can’t see them coming. I take Vitamin C everyday, too. Hopefully, it will protect me for the evil germ incubators.
    Lauren recently posted…Canadians Blamed for Blast of Frigid Air or is that Frigidaire?My Profile

  3. Well, this is what is called the ‘Woman Flu’ says urban dictionary!
    Woman flu is a dreadful disease which causes seriously ill women to pretend to be well and relentlessly come to work. The opposite of man flu

    Man 1: Gosh, her nose is streaming dreadfully… why doesn’t she take a day off?
    Man 2: Must be a case of woman flu
    Nina Gray recently posted…TaaaaXi!My Profile

  4. Ha! I worked with a man who had over 6 months of sick time. He had a nerve to come to work and sit across from me sick, not sniffle-sniffle but yellow mucus, puking sick. I told him to go home and he said, “I had outpatient surgery on my back, I was back at my desk before the day ended. A little cough and sneeze is not going to send me packing.” It wasn’t ok to go home, but it was ok for me to have his nasty germs and bring them into my home. Dumb ass. Sick = Stay home. Flu= Stay away from me!

    Great post!

  5. Phil, at times, I have compared you to a grumpy old man, or, more specifically, my dad. But this time you are RIGHT ON! Seriously.

    I mean, I get it. I get stressed out when I miss work. But there comes a point where you are sick and you need to stay home.

    That said, I started feeling a tickle in my throat this afternoon but I am currently on my laptop at Argo Tea.
    Jill Pinnella Corso recently posted…An Insider Exposé: The Improv CultMy Profile

  6. Not only that, but even if the people that got sick stay home, there’s still germs all over the place and on everything to deal with. Now whenever I touch anything I use a cloth (clean one) instead of my bare hands, to open up doors, refrigerators, microwaves,etc. We can get sick even if the sick ones stayed home. Germs are everywhere and on everything. To prevent that, I try to wash my hands anytime I touch anything when I am out. Don’t know who has touched what.
    Susana King recently posted…Airports: Attention, If You Are Deaf, or Happen to be Losing Your Hearing, Can You Share Your Thoughts Here?My Profile

  7. Great post, Phil. As a Jersey guy who used to commute into the city for years, let’s just say your thoughts on airborne pathogens erased the last of my “fondest” memories of being packed fin to gill with an international collection of PATH train riders with exotic coughs on their way to or from the office. What do I owe you?
    John Hartnett recently posted…Teenagers Say the Darndest ThingsMy Profile

  8. Don’t you hate it when someone comes in sick for a whole week, and they refuse to take a day off? Then when you get a tiny bit sick just for a day, that same person complains and complains about you getting him or her sick? But it was okay for them to go in sick all week long as if they have a rights to be there sick and to risk getting everyone else sick, when that same person asks you to go home when you are not even half way sick in just one day?
    Susana King recently posted…Airports: Attention, If You Are Deaf, or Happen to be Losing Your Hearing, Can You Share Your Thoughts Here?My Profile

  9. I cracked up. Of COURSE you drew the line at “no sex”. Doesn’t everyone? And I don’t think the whole germaphobe freak out thing during flu season is exclusive to NY. My hubby practically loses it any time we get on a plane and he hears someone sneeze or cough…and has to listen twice to make sure a throat clearing isn’t in fact a disguised cough. All he had to hear was “recycled air” to know that everyone stands a better chance of getting everyone else’s germs if they are on a plane together. 🙂
    Kitt Crescendo recently posted…Writing And Music And Where They MergeMy Profile

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