We who live here in NYC spend an awful lot of time standing around in lines waiting for things. I’ll admit, at times I am one of those fools too, but as I am getting older (and more wiser) I have to say that I just don’t have the patience for it anymore. I mean, if it’s for something extremely worthwhile such as free concert tickets or to a special event that just might entice me. Otherwise, don’t expect me to waste hours of my precious time on a slow moving line with a bunch of other noobs for anything. We are a fast paced city here. We act and move quickly. We hustle. Why anyone would lose precious sleep or time to wait for certain things on long ass lines just goes to show the extent some will go through. Call it nutty, call it absurd, just don’t call it logical. Some of these people are totally Cray Cray!
The movies are one. Why do people here in NYC feel the need to wait on mega long lines just to go see a popular movie on opening night? That is the worst time to go. Plus, the theater is packed with annoying people who won’t shut up, have their phones on during the movie, obnoxious little kids, crying babies, and there is usually the freakishly tall person who just happens to take the seat right in front of you. Thanks for blocking my view Gigantaur! Buy your tickets on-line or in advance and wait a few days. Even better, just wait a few weeks and it will be on DVD!
Cronuts. Really, what the eff is this stupidity. It’s a friggin’ deep fried croissant/doughnut with frosting. People are actually camping out overnight, losing sleep, and getting up at 5am to wait on line to get a few of these precious belly bombs. WTF is wrong with this picture? AMURRICA!!! You won’t see me losing any sleep or time on this stupid fatty fad that will die away hopefully quickly. Damn, I’m more excited that Twinkies are back!
I’m sorry, but no restaurant meal is worth waiting hours in line for. I see it almost every week here in NYC, especially during weekend brunch. The hordes of sheep anxiously waiting for up to three hours to have eggs, bacon, and pancakes served to them in a trendy atmosphere along with the rest of the baby carriage mommy crowd and hipster brethren. Sure, there are amazing spots to enjoy a meal here in NYC and so many ethnic varieties too. Yet, that’s the thing. There are literally a thousand good places to have a meal. Why do these people keep waiting in lines for the same overhyped restos week after week? Personally, if I have to wait in a long line early in the morning without any coffee for a few hours just to get something to eat I will literally strangle someone. Coffee dammit!!!
Do people still wait on line to get into nightclubs? Are you shitting me? The bridge and tunnel crowd can wait all night behind those velvet ropes hoping the asshole doorman or snotty lady with the guest list clipboard actually will even acknowlege they are there and let them in before the place closes at 4am. Now, there was a time when I used to come into the city and wait on those lines. Then, I started to realize most of these places really suck. They are not all that, and are way overpriced for cover charges and drinks. Guess what? There are a ton of great bars and pubs in the city that let you walk right in! Much cheaper too to get your drink on. Plus, there are actually cool people in them, decent music with killer jukeboxes, and usually without the meathead douchebag factor! Yo bro! That’s cray!
Free stuff. Hey, we all like free. Who doesn’t? If there is a chance to save some dough I am all about it. Except when I am forced to stand in a god awful line for it. Why do normal mild mannered New Yorkers get all bat shit cray cray when it come to free stuff being handed out. I see it all around the city whenever a stand pops up on a corner handing out free food or the newest drink sensation as a promotion. You would think these people have never seen food before! People pushing and shoving to move forward in the line. Also, the line appears out of nowhere. It’s like a silent dog whistle goes off and people stop in their tracks to run to these lines. Get a grip people. It’s only a stick of gum, candy bar, or soft drink. Sheesh! It’s like watching the Walking Dead converge on human prey!
The worst thing to ever wait in line for? The DMV. Hands down. This is a special place that I fondly refer to as “Satan’s Asshole” and deserves it’s own blog post which will be written at another time. Now that’s scary stuff. Talk about Cray Cray.