It is amazing the extremes most of us go through here to live in NYC. The annoying crowds. The smells of rotting trash in the summer. Sweltering subway platforms. Our arrogant Mayor acting as Big Brother. Large soda anyone? The ridiculous cost of living and high rental prices. Oh, and I can’t forget all those little critters that seem to show up more often during the hot humid weather season. What the heck was that thing? A cat or a rat? Holy shat it’s a cockroach! Seriously, these nasty things are everywhere and will never, ever, go away. Plus, they seem to be getting bigger as if they were exposed to radiation in a 1950’s cheesy sci-fi flick. As I am observing this thing cross my path along the sidewalk I think “Hey Mayoro Bloombito – why don’t you outlaw all these creepy crawlers too while you are at it. Banish them to New Jersey or some other strange land!” (sorry Jersey-ites)
Then, I started to think about all the things us New Yorkers actually stop to observe. Some might be universal. We just have to stop and look. Here are a few that come to mind.
Watching the washing machine. I am in a laundromat right now as I am typing up this post. A few seats away from me is an older gentleman staring blankly at the washer as it rotates his clothes round and round. Like he is in trance. Why do people do this? After a minute there is really nothing more to see. It’s like watching the same Friends episode over and over. It drives me crazy. Hey Joey, how you doin’?
Rats on the subway tracks. Oh, come on now. You know we all do it. There is something grossly enjoyable about watching these furballs of vermin scurry around the subway tracks and disappear into a small crevice. It’s all fun and games until we see them actually run up on the platform! I have seen that a few times and it’s kind of funny to hear grown men squeal in fear and cringe like little girls. Me? I swear I didn’t scream that loud! Don’t judge. It looked like it was getting close to me!
Seeing a couple go at it on a street corner. Not as in playing tonsil hockey, but as in an all out brawl. I can’t count the amount of times I have seen a couple air out their dirty laundry in full view of the public. “I know you’re cheating on me!” “You hate my parents!” “You’re a selfish loser!” “You suck in bed!” Personally, if I ever got in a fight with my gal and she yelled that out for all to hear it’s game over. Don’t say another word. Hand in your man card and walk away. Move to another neighborhood because you have just become the guy who sucks in bed to everyone. Ouch!
Watching two people fight over a parking spot. This one is awesome! I have seen this a few times and it makes great theater. Grab some popcorn and take a seat on the couch. With so few free parking spots available on the side streets it’s like finding a rainbow colored unicorn
If you do drive and you stumble upon one grab it quick before another driver snatches it up. I have seen one guy pull ahead to parallel park into one and another driver quickly pull into the spot cutting him off. Then the fireworks begin! Cursing, threatening, fisticuffs, drama! It’s like watching an action adventure movie! Makes me so glad I do not own a car.
Rubbernecking an accident. This one drives me nuts. Especially when I rent a car to go out and see clients. I end up getting stuck in slow moving traffic and late for a meeting. Not because of the car wreck or lane closure, but because everyone has to crawl by to look and see what happened. I have actually seen people taking cell phone pictures as they slowly roll by. Idiots. You’re not gonna get more likes on Facebook or get famous by Instagramming that! Hit the gas pedal. Move!
Maybe this is just one of my personal favorites but I get all warm and giddy inside when I see a guy all dressed up in a suit before heading to his Wall Street job scooping up hot wet dog poop in a plastic bag in his hand. They always try to look away and not make eye contact to make it seem like no big deal while being emasculated in this manner. Especially if it’s one of those little yip yip pocketbook dogs. I purposely slow down, look right at them, and smirk a bit. Look, I am a dog lover and appreciate when people do the pooper scooper thing. Yet, seeing this on my way to work in the morning always puts an extra skip in my walk and smile on my face. Life is good.
So, are you guilty of any of these? Are there any I missed that could be added to this list? I am sure there are a few more. After all, we can’t help but to stop and look. Admit it – we love the drama. We stop and stare. We’re all curiosity ho’s!