I don’t know about you but I really can’t stand the coworker who comes back into the office after a long three or four day holiday weekend all bright eyed and bushy tailed. You know the type. All refreshed and happy to be back in the rat race. The one who has to greet everyone good morning and inquire about how their weekend was. Then regales all of us with detailed information about what they did, where they went, what they ate, how many times they took a dump, etc. They bop around the place sticking their head into every office and cubicle to make sure you’re there to say hello and tell you about their wonderful weekend getaway down by the shore or wherever the heck they went. You try to avoid this person all morning until the coffee kicks in and the drowsiness dissipates from your mind because if you don’t you just might strangle them. You just feel like telling then to “Shut the hell up!”
Really, what is it with these people? How can they be so happy that the long weekend is over and to be back at the daily grind? Most of us live for the extra time off to enjoy life. The last thing I want to hear at 9:15am the first day back at work is your nasally drone of a voice happily telling me about your family vacation, what your kids did, the amazing hotel you stayed in, the celebrity you might have seen out in the Hamptons eating at an expensive restaurant with broccoli stuck in their teeth, blah blah blah blah blah. Shoot me now. The worst is when you get trapped in the elevator with this spawn, or in the kitchen while making your first cup of coffee for the morning. Then there is no escape. You just nod your head, smile a lot, and as they babble on thoughts of slamming their head into the refrigerator door pass through your mind. Please make it stop!
How can some people be so enthralled about being back at work? I’ll admit that I really do enjoy my job and career, but like most normal people I also take great pleasure in having time off and not being back in the office for a bit. It’s good for our sanity to decompress without the pressures of deadlines and job related stress. The last thing I want to deal with is some sort of demented Energizer Bunny of a coworker running around all happy to be back in the office on the verge of belting out Broadway show tunes all morning. I feel like putting a roofie of laxatives in their coffee so they’d be trapped in a bathroom stall all day. Now that I think of it that’s not a bad idea. Heading over to the kitchen now…..
Of course, some out there work in an environment where there is no mercy. Almost as if having a national holiday is a sin, and closing the office on those days is like committing a federal offense, or asking someone to share their bacon! How dare you want to have July 4th, Christmas Day, or Thanksgiving off! Going into labor? Pop that kid out and get back to work within the afternoon. In fact, schedule childbirth during your lunch hour and be back by 1pm! So glad my office situation is not like that. Bad enough I have to deal with that one overly peppy coworker!
Honestly, we all know that first day back in the office after a long weekend pretty much nothing much gets accomplished. It’s like that summer Friday afternoon before a three day holiday weekend such as Memorial Day. Each hour drags and seems like forever, while no one is responding to emails or picking up the phone. By 2pm the day is pretty much over. By 3pm the office seems like a ghost town. Man, I wish every weekend was a three day adventure!
Now please, shut the hell up! I don’t want to hear about your awesome weekend. At least not until my third cup of coffee. At least bring donuts to ease the pain.
I couldn’t agree more! Oh great, you are reminding me that I am not on vacation and doing it in an annoying way!
It’s even worse now because my job is in FULL gear, so I can’t even get away with that lazy day back, staring at the window, and it is making me grumpy!
Hey Dave!
Yup, that first day back is always painful! No need to hear about everyone’s fun! Just give me coffee!
Well I was going to tell you about my weekend, but forget it. You can just sit there and wonder.
Let me tell you instead, what I did NOT do: I did not BBQ, I did not wave an American flag (except a virtual one on FB), I did not go shopping for anything on sale or otherwise, I did not buy a car, I did not go to the movies, I did not rent a movie, I did not wake up early, I did not got to the beach, I did not to camping, I did not go to a parade, I did not complain about the heat, I did not . . .
Is that better than listening to what I actually did do? Careful what you wish for, Phil.
Happy Tuesday. Now get back to work.
Oh, by the way, that first picture looks a little like my husband’s ex-wife. I had to do a double take.
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
Hey Patricia!
Ha! That’s a lot of stuff you didn’t do. If your husband’s ex-wife was like that he must be emotionally scarred! :-
Hope the jolly co-worker hasn’t heard about your hilarious posts and is thus tempted to give it a read, lol. Of course, if the weekend is a pouring rain, windy, cold mess and the co-worker has been stuck at home with three screaming kids, well then I might be so jolly returning to work too, but alas, looks like with the nice weekend weather, no pass for her this time around.
Hey Peggy!
Well, if my co-workers do read it I hope they have a sense of humor! If not, I’m in trouble!
OMFG!! My office USED to be right next door to our happy & peppy & bursting with LOVE Purchasing Agent. I would come in each Monday and would feel like I was being interrogated by Carol & Paula & Sherlock & the flipping Chuckle-Patch “How was your WEEEKEENND? Did you have a NICE one? Did you hang with your hubby!?? Did you know that there are no locks on STORY BOX!!??” Until one day I just snapped – I glared at her and said, “LOOK – that is just WAYYyyy too many fucking questions first thing in the morning”. She thinks I’m a borderline sociopath now, but she’s QUIET! 😉
Hey Lorien!
Thanks for dropping by and commenting! So glad you enjoyed my rant! 🙂
Hey, acting like a crazy person is one way to have no one ask how your weekend was!
Is it sad that I can’t wait to get a job so that I can be surrounded once again by people who annoy the f**ck out of me? Also, provide blog fodder. Sigh.
Hey Jill!
Be careful what you wish for! You might run back to the couch!
Well, I WAS going to tell you about how incredibly fun it was to spend Memorial Day weekend in NYC. Wearing crocks. With socks. But now you’ll just have to wonder…
Hey Barb!
Was that you I saw dressed like that? I ran the other way screaming! 🙂
Hehe you would soooo not want to see me after a long weekend – I am totally the bright eyed person you’re talking about! Ok, I’ll pour you another cup of coffee 🙂 Here’s to your short work week (hey, that’s a positive thing!)
Hey Christy!
You had better bring me a pot of coffee if you’re that type! Along with a few shots! 🙂
I don’t blab in person, just on Facebook 😉 I’m that person always posting food porn photos of good dinners out and such.
Hey Jeri!
Oh, I can deal with food porn. We all love food porn. half my site is food porn! 🙂
Omg! I’m dying over here….lol. I have the complete opposite. We have a new employee who comes in and is ALL business…ugh. No one is ever allowed to have idle chit chat during working hours in her book or she will SHUSH you. Oh….yes….she …. does!
You know the famous camel that is always asking “Do you know what day it is?” that’s ME.
Hey Lisa!
I don’t know what’s worse. I would want to strangle that person. You need a break from all biz talk once in a while. So, you’re the inspiration for that camel commercial? 🙂
Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays. Sorry, someone had to! I don’t work anymore, but when I did, my boss was the overly peppy morning person Every.Single.Day, and we would have meetings first thing on Monday (or Tuesday) where she would make us all discuss our weekend and tell us ALL about hers before getting down to business, which is why the hell we’re there in the first place. Sigh.
I don’t miss that. I do miss my co-worker who used to squeeze my knee under the table every time the boss said, “Oh my God,” or “That’s awesome.” Aww…the good ole’ days.
The elevator? That’s just wrong. There is an unwritten rule…we do not talk in the elevator first thing in the morning. Afternoons are on a case by case basis.
*whispers* It’s a bit of a bartender’s urban legend, but I hear a drop of Visine in a drink will send a person to the potty for a while.
Hey Mandi!
We all have a case of the Mondays! Having a boss like that is a nightmare! At least she was a little personable. Maybe you should have dropped Visine in her coffee?
Couldn’t have said it better myself! I was discussing this with somebody yesterday. My biggest thing isn’t being back at work, but how crazy my hours changed over this time. Therefore, a lack of sleep coming into the office because I wasn’t fully charged! Either way, like you, I enjoy these longer weekends. They work well for me!
Hey PJ!
Yes, the long weekends are great, but most of us don’t want to hear everyone’s details about them! The first day back is rough enough!
I am kinda this person buy about 50%. I let everyone get settled with their coffee first. I was out of town the week before so i needed to get caught up on the office antics. I dont feel too bad because i mostly work around men and they come in talking about the scores of games the night before.
Hey Holli!
At least you are nice enough to get everyone caffeinated first! Better keep up on all the games.
So, what I am gathering from your post here is that you’d like to see some more pics of my adorable niece and nephew and all of the fun we had over the weekend?!
TOTALLY get where you’re coming from – how do folks get excited about going back to work? If only ever weekend could be three days, the world would be a more relaxed place!
Hey Cowboys!
Heck, at least I can close your blog page. It’s harder to shut people up when they trap you in the office! All weekends should be three days!
Soo true. We all did the same stuff, we’re pissy to be back, don’t think we need to talk about it. Especially those with children. I am enjoying this post very strongly today 🙂 Hope you had a good vacation.
Hey Jean!
So glad you enjoyed! Sounds like you have the same mindset. No over zealous talk about the weekend on the morning back!
Or you could say, like my dear friend from the south, “Well, Honey, bless your heart.”
Hey Shelley!
Or, we can say – “Kiss My Grits!”
the only good thing about being back to work on tuesday is the short work week! i am always looking forward to friday.
Hey Oomph!
Thanks so much for dropping by my blog and commenting!
Yes, the short work week is a blessing! Friday can’t come soon enough!
Thought it was a Swedish phenomenon..:) Ever considered putting up a “Do not disturb”-sign on your cubicle? Or on your shirt?
Hey Mitzie!
Maybe I’ll just keep the lights off in my office and hide under my desk. 🙂
I agree 100%. Unfortunately, my dear Hubs is that cheerful person who wakes up every day at 6:00am ready to greet the day. Me? I’m buried beneath the sheets yelling for the minions to bring me a damn cup of Joe so that I can wake the f@#$ up.
Hey Mother!
You need to keep one of those mini baseball bats under your pillow so you can club him unconscious when he starts chirping that early! 😉
I agree. I can’t stand it when someone brags about their weekend when they act like they’d rather be in the office on a monday.
Hey Susana!
I know right? I’m still in long weekend hungover mode when the workday starts. Pipe down!
Ha! Ha!! Phil. It sounds awfully like me. I don’t mean it but I do tend to be the perky one around the office and I do travel rather a lot, and I guess from other people’s perspective I’m having too much of a good time. I do bring gifts though as our office is always filled with cake of some sort. We’re a private corporate school you see. 🙂
I do love the (I live in Europe so in our case), the 4-day-weekend! I can get pretty creative too if I’m determined to go long haul. Once, I managed to be away from the office for a whole month as I wanted to go to India, and only booked out 10 days holiday. My boss got quite annoyed about that and demanded to know who had given me permission.
He had!
It was around Easter and the May Day holiday you see and Easter happened to be mid-week so….!
Hey Victoria!
Well, at least you bring gifts to soften the blow! Especially when it’s cake or cookies!
Why does it seem the bosses get mad at us for taking vacation that is already approved? Hey, we need a life outside work!
Ha ha ha…Maybe you should print this post off and leave it laying around the office lunchroom…
Hey Hazy!
If I did that I might be on a permanent vacation!
Yep, there’s always one or two or three people like that. Then if you have clients you have to go over the whole thing again over the phone. At least feigning enthusiasm is easier over the phone, You can roll your eyes and stick up your middle finger as much as you want to.
Hey Kenya!
There are always a few in every office. Clients too. I feel ya. Over and over. Yup.
I’ll glad listen to your tales of a fabulous time away, if you brought me a souvenir. Or candy.
Hey Jan!
If people bought me cake, or bacon, and beer, I would also gladly listen.