As I am sitting here in my favorite coffee shop on the Upper East Side on this cold and blustery NYC morning I’m looking out the window and pondering the sweet mysteries of life. Most notably right now I’m watching the wind blow around the snow flurries that are coming down. Snow! God damn snow! It’s supposed to be Spring dammit! Go away Winter, enough already. I’ll be the first to admit I do like the colder dry air of the winter season but this is getting on my last nerve. All I ask for now is a few days of sunny weather in the 50’s at this point. Is that asking too much? Oh great, now it’s really coming down. It looks like we’re inside a giant snow globe. It’s 33 and snowing out yet there are some idiots walking by wearing shorts. People here are getting so pissed off at the weather they are rebelling. That’s all cool as I’m kind of like that too, but I’m not dumb enough to go out and catch pneumonia. As they saying goes, I might be dumb but I ain’t stupid! Continue reading Snow, Selfies, Fires, Sniffing Glue – Another Week in NYC!
I just can’t help myself. Call it being evil, lack of compassion, or just plain juvenile. I get a kick out of other’s minor misfortunes. Namely, those that deserve it here in NYC. You know the types. Those who are overly self centered, inconsiderate, snarky, or just plain douchebags. Nothing wrong with a good chuckle at their misfortune. Then again, I laugh at pretty much anyone when the time, and ridiculous circumstances arise. Lord knows I have had my share of mishaps that had people giggling at my displeasure. I have slipped and fallen flat on my back, strepped into piles of dog poop that engulfed my whole foot, and even walked through a plate glass door. Oh, that last one has happened a few times. How I’m not stitched up like Frankenstein escapes me. I know karma is a bitch, but I still have at it when seeing someone first hand do something dumb, or have something idiotic happen to them. Winter season here in NYC is such a great time to people watch and get my jollies. Here are a few that get my funny bone going. Schadenfreude is my co-pilot. Continue reading Karma, Schadenfreude, and Laughing at Winter Morons in NYC.
Really, wasn’t it Halloween just less than a week ago? I literally still have the taste of this holiday in my mouth as there are plastic buckets full of candy and chocolates strewn about the office I work in and I just can’t keep my hands out of them. Chocolate drool down my chin. This time of year really tests my resolve which is disappearing as the days go on. First Halloween, then Thanksgiving, which then leads to Christmas and New Years. There are only 47 days until Christmas! Only 7 weeks. Just 7 weekends to get all that horrendous shopping done. Hold on now, let’s backtrack a bit. Halloween just ended. What gets me all riled up is that we are already getting bombarded with holiday commercials and Christmas merchandise in the stores. What the eff??? Really, can we just enjoy each holiday first before having the next one shoved down our throats and ripped through our buttholes? Why am I seeing ads for toys and gifts at the major retailers on October 28th? Why does my local Duane Reade already have boxes of Christmas wrap in the windows on November 5th? This lunacy needs to end right now! What’s next? July 4th sales the day after New Years? How about Christmas ads for 2015 the day after Easter? Makes me want to go all Bigfoot on these places and start throwing poop everywhere. Continue reading Really? Christmas, the Flu, NYC Road Rage. What is going on?
There seems to be something in the air. I have viewed this recurring scene what seems like over and over on the streets of NYC during the Spring season many times over the years I have lived here. Couples fighting. In public. One calling the other a few choice names. An exasperated look on their faces. Tears. Anguish. Anger. Usually, it ends with one walking away and leaving the other in the dust. Yes, Spring Breakup Season has arrived!
When Spring finally greets us here in NYC it seems to set off a chemical receptor in people which alerts them that it’s time to remove ths shackles and become uncuffed from their significant others that they have endured the last five months of Winter with. Maybe it’s the fact that they can’t seem to deal with the cabin fever of being stuck inside with the same person after a long wintry season, and when those first days of warmth arrive and those wondrous rays of sunlight hit their faces they can think of one thing only.
“I must dump this person and be single for the Summer!” Continue reading Spring is in the air so it’s Breakup Season in NYC!