Tag Archives: weather

A Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays rant!

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Here we are one day before Christmas and like the typical guy I am still shopping for last minute presents. I don’t mean to do this to myself every year. Why do I put myself through this torture? I know months in advance what I need to get and for whom I am shopping for, yet I put it off until Christmas week. I refuse to do the whole Black Friday and Cyber Monday madness. I guess I am a glutton for holiday punishment. What I will do though is take advantage of the crazy hours the stores stay open this week. With many of the major retailers staying open 24 hours a day I don’t mind at all going shopping after midnight. This way I avoid most of the obnoxious shopper crowd. I did just that the other night at Macy’s here in NYC. The store was kind of empty which was a pleasant surprise, but at 2AM it’s kind of a freak show in this part of town. Idiot parents, crazy weather, smelly cab drivers, etc

Time for a Christmas rant, along with the presents I would want Santa to give them! Continue reading A Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays rant!

Run, hoard, and hide! Here comes the snow NYC!

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Well, here we are again in another winter season. It’s December and a week away from Christmas. Full swing into the holiday season. People are packing the malls, shopping online, and scurrying to take advantage of the many last minute sales and discounts. We have already seen a few small snowfalls here in NYC that have thrown the public into panic mode! It just never amazes me how even a few inches of snow in the forecast nowadays gets overblown into a catastrophic event! I really think it’s a conspiracy by the news channels, weather forecasters, internet sites, and newspapers to help spread fear while generating higher ratings and sales. Why does every teeny snow squall have to be assigned a name of doom? Watch out for “Snowstorm Ass Ripper” that is looking to dump a total of two inches of the white stuff on us! Be deathly afraid of “Mega-storm Skid Mark” which will coat us with upwards of three inches of Hell! Run for your lives as “Crazy Storm Turd Burglar ” leaves us trudging through a Hellish inch of the fluffy stuff! As soon as the news starts talking about the upcoming snowfalls in these terms the inevitable happens. People run to the supermarkets and bodegas scrambling to scoop up every supply item they can to help survive the onslaught of snow that we mostly never end up really seeing. It’s like every snow day is a re-creation of Black Friday panic! Grab all the bacon!!!  Continue reading Run, hoard, and hide! Here comes the snow NYC!

OK, it’s so hot in NYC we are melting! We are MELTING!

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Yes, it does feel a tad bit sweaty outside.

Summertime is supposed to be warm, we get that. I know that we can all expect muggy days here and there. Bright weekends at the park. Sun drenched days at the beach. The occasional hot and humid afternoons. Summer in NYC is usually filled with these types of days, but hot damn, this heat wave is hotter than Satan’s asshole! Another day of record heat in the 90’s that actually feels like it’s over 100 outside. Is this some kind of crazy joke that Mother Nature is pulling on us? I feel like I am actually melting if I stay outside for more than a few minutes! I can smell the soles of my sneakers burning!

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I actually read today on the Gothamist that NYC broke the all time power record usage. Good lord I hope that ConEd can keep up with the power demand during this heat wave. No way in Hell that anyone wants to deal with a power outage right now. Even the Pillsbury Doughboy would end up baking like a croissant on the sidewalk out here. I am ready too see people explode in spontaneous combustion.

Mmmm……croissants.

http://gothamist.com/2013/07/19/nyc_broke_all-time_peak_power_usage.php Continue reading OK, it’s so hot in NYC we are melting! We are MELTING!

Hey NYC – Here comes the Swamp Ass!

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I was one of the many lamenting the long dreary winter not too long ago. Until after this past weekend on June 1 when the environment decided to smack us all in the face here in NYC with a wall of hot humid muggy air and humidity. Then the skies opened up and drenched us all. Ugh. Talk about total suckage! Now, I know there are many out there that love the hot weather and absolutely hate the winter season as it’s cold and unforgivably seems to last forever here in the Northeast. Personally, I enjoy the cold air and don’t think we have been hit too hard with many bad winters these past bunch of years. Most have been quite mild actually with few real snowfalls of any accumulation to make much of a difference. Yet, there are many that whine and complain all winter long. They relish the feel of 90 degree hot sticky days and all the sweatiness that accompanies it.

Not me! I don’t know about you but to me there is no enjoyment of having SWAMP ASS! Continue reading Hey NYC – Here comes the Swamp Ass!