Well, here we are on February 16th here in NYC and it’s 24 degrees this morning. Sure, it is only February which is winter you know. Hey, I’m not complaining since at least it’s not snowing. I don’t mind the cold air and it is sunny outside. I think all of us in this part of the country are just getting sick of seeing snow. So far NYC has seen double the normal amount of the white stuff. Yeah, there are those who love snow, and think it’s all beautiful, picturesque, blah, blah, blah. Then there are those who live for the winter sports season and brag about all the great skiing and snowboarding they have been enjoying. Please, go away and shut the eff up. Those of us who would rather be on a beach with a cold drink or on a jet ski don’t want to hear it. The snow is not pretty anymore. It’s all dirty and grimy looking and a slushy mess here in the city. It’s not fun to play in anymore as the novelty has worn off. I want to walk around without my shoes turning into filth, and the bottoms of my pants looking like I just stepped into a small pond. Oh, and don’t forget those unmaneuverable lakes that show up on every street corner that are impossible to get around unless you have rain boots on, or are one of those freakishly tall NBA players and can walk over them. Plus, I have slipped and landed on my ass twice already. Yup, Spring can’t get here soon enough!
Ok, I get it. I do realize that it is still winter. It’s supposed to be cold and snowy. Yet, this one feels like a bad joke. Here are some pics I found on the net that pretty much sum up our feelings of this winter so far. Nothing like enjoying a lazy Sunday morning with a hot cup of coffee and blogging naked in a warm apartment……. Continue reading Hey, look, more snow on the way! Yay! Now go kill yourself.→
Here we are one day before Christmas and like the typical guy I am still shopping for last minute presents. I don’t mean to do this to myself every year. Why do I put myself through this torture? I know months in advance what I need to get and for whom I am shopping for, yet I put it off until Christmas week. I refuse to do the whole Black Friday and Cyber Monday madness. I guess I am a glutton for holiday punishment. What I will do though is take advantage of the crazy hours the stores stay open this week. With many of the major retailers staying open 24 hours a day I don’t mind at all going shopping after midnight. This way I avoid most of the obnoxious shopper crowd. I did just that the other night at Macy’s here in NYC. The store was kind of empty which was a pleasant surprise, but at 2AM it’s kind of a freak show in this part of town. Idiot parents, crazy weather, smelly cab drivers, etc
Well, here we are again in another winter season. It’s December and a week away from Christmas. Full swing into the holiday season. People are packing the malls, shopping online, and scurrying to take advantage of the many last minute sales and discounts. We have already seen a few small snowfalls here in NYC that have thrown the public into panic mode! It just never amazes me how even a few inches of snow in the forecast nowadays gets overblown into a catastrophic event! I really think it’s a conspiracy by the news channels, weather forecasters, internet sites, and newspapers to help spread fear while generating higher ratings and sales. Why does every teeny snow squall have to be assigned a name of doom? Watch out for “Snowstorm Ass Ripper” that is looking to dump a total of two inches of the white stuff on us! Be deathly afraid of “Mega-storm Skid Mark” which will coat us with upwards of three inches of Hell! Run for your lives as “Crazy Storm Turd Burglar ” leaves us trudging through a Hellish inch of the fluffy stuff! As soon as the news starts talking about the upcoming snowfalls in these terms the inevitable happens. People run to the supermarkets and bodegas scrambling to scoop up every supply item they can to help survive the onslaught of snow that we mostly never end up really seeing. It’s like every snow day is a re-creation of Black Friday panic! Grab all the bacon!!! Continue reading Run, hoard, and hide! Here comes the snow NYC!→
Summertime is supposed to be warm, we get that. I know that we can all expect muggy days here and there. Bright weekends at the park. Sun drenched days at the beach. The occasional hot and humid afternoons. Summer in NYC is usually filled with these types of days, but hot damn, this heat wave is hotter than Satan’s asshole! Another day of record heat in the 90’s that actually feels like it’s over 100 outside. Is this some kind of crazy joke that Mother Nature is pulling on us? I feel like I am actually melting if I stay outside for more than a few minutes! I can smell the soles of my sneakers burning!
I actually read today on the Gothamist that NYC broke the all time power record usage. Good lord I hope that ConEd can keep up with the power demand during this heat wave. No way in Hell that anyone wants to deal with a power outage right now. Even the Pillsbury Doughboy would end up baking like a croissant on the sidewalk out here. I am ready too see people explode in spontaneous combustion.