Tag Archives: Walmart

The Zen of Egg Nog in a Griswold Christmas Kind of World

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Christmas, yes, we are here again. There are those who embrace the holidays and those who shudder at the thought of them. Hey, at least it’s almost hitting 70 degrees here in NYC. In December. Yeah, there’s no such thing as global warming you say? Time to break out the mistletoe speedos and throw a shrimp on the barbie!

When someone offers you egg nog at a friend or family’s house you drink the nog. Especially if it has real booze in it. Because nog dammit! Don’t worry about the fat and calories. Just release your gluttonous desires and drink up! It’s Christmas time! Break out the sweatpants!

Oh, and if National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation or Elf is on TV you watch them. It’s tradition, and also because they are goofy fun. Why watch the depressing It’s a Wonderful Life when you can view Cousin Eddie driving Clark Griswold absolutely nuts. Pop open the Jack Daniels egg nog and drink it right out of the bottle. Squirrel! Continue reading The Zen of Egg Nog in a Griswold Christmas Kind of World

I’m on Vacation! Pina Coladas, Island Hopping, Off The Grid!

 

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I’m on vacation! Hand me a frozen cocktail and don’t be stingy with the rum!

Finally going on a real vacation out of the country for a week. Heading out on a Caribbean cruise with my gal and parents. Dad likes to drink and mom likes to gamble. We all love to eat. On a cruise ship that is a winning, if deadly, combination. Drinking, eating, gambling, island hopping and shopping. I think I might experience almost all of the Seven Deadly Sins over these seven days. We’ll make the most of it though I’m sure and have some great fun. I just need to keep in mind a list of things to adhere to that will help make my vacation time more enjoyable. Lord knows spending the week with the parental units will cause some stress to begin with.

1. I will not be on social networks of any kind as soon as that cruise ship pulls away from the port. It’s called a vacation for a reason! I am totally disconnecting for a week. Off the grid. Incommunicado. Lost in space. See ya!

2. I will not be posting vacation pictures on Facebook, Instagram, Yelp, Twitter, Snapchat, Tinder, LinkedIn, Clown Sex Weekly, or any other internet site. I will not be one of  “those” people who feel the need to post a million pictures of everywhere they go every minute of their vacations on social media. It’s almost as if people forgot how to actually kick back and enjoy the destinations and sights they experience. They just run around looking for photo ops to quickly post and show off to their friends and followers. Dozens of pictures. Hundreds of them. Thousands. Honestly, none of us really care. Just stop already. Go have fun, enjoy, and download the pics when you get back. We’ll see them later on. Continue reading I’m on Vacation! Pina Coladas, Island Hopping, Off The Grid!

It’s Thanksgiving in NYC. Turkey time! Come at me bro!

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Here we are at another Thanksgiving holiday. Travel nightmares. Family follies. Stuffing ourselves to the point of gastronomic failure. Waistlines pushing maximum expansion. Then usually passing out on the couch for a while in a tryptophanic turkey coma until the aroma of fresh coffee and pumpkin pie is in the air. Hey now, no matter how full we are there’s always room for dessert! Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays mainly because I get to feast and engorge myself on delicious food prepared by relatives who can cook their asses off. No Shake N Bake chicken here, just real down home comfort food and stuffing galore. I will admit to a guilty pleasure during this meal – canned cranberry sauce! I can’t help myself, as I love it. The shape of the can it plops out as. You can slice it. It’s gelatinous wiggle. It’s not as sour as fresh cranberry sauce. Drool.

Hey, don’t judge me! We all have our shameful little fetishes. Continue reading It’s Thanksgiving in NYC. Turkey time! Come at me bro!

Holiday commercials already? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

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Um, really? I just saw a Christmas commercial and it’s not even Halloween yet! What is wrong with this picture? Do we really need to have the upcoming holiday season shoved down our throats like this before we even have a chance to enjoy the one we are at? Also, I was out shopping yesterday and what did I see? Christmas decorations on the shelves. Oh hellz no. It’s almost as if the big name department stores are so desperate to suck the money out of our wallets that they need to play mind control games on us to make sure we are conditioned to spend spend spend! Hello, let’s not forget about Thankgiving! Personally, I don’t even want to think about the major shopping holiday coming up before I enjoy engorging myself on delicious turkey and stuffing. We still have 58 more days dammit! That’s almost two months away. I feel as if we are being bent over by old Saint Nick and Santa is having his way with us! HO-HO-HO! Continue reading Holiday commercials already? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!