I just can’t help myself. Call it being evil, lack of compassion, or just plain juvenile. I get a kick out of other’s minor misfortunes. Namely, those that deserve it here in NYC. You know the types. Those who are overly self centered, inconsiderate, snarky, or just plain douchebags. Nothing wrong with a good chuckle at their misfortune. Then again, I laugh at pretty much anyone when the time, and ridiculous circumstances arise. Lord knows I have had my share of mishaps that had people giggling at my displeasure. I have slipped and fallen flat on my back, strepped into piles of dog poop that engulfed my whole foot, and even walked through a plate glass door. Oh, that last one has happened a few times. How I’m not stitched up like Frankenstein escapes me. I know karma is a bitch, but I still have at it when seeing someone first hand do something dumb, or have something idiotic happen to them. Winter season here in NYC is such a great time to people watch and get my jollies. Here are a few that get my funny bone going. Schadenfreude is my co-pilot. Continue reading Karma, Schadenfreude, and Laughing at Winter Morons in NYC.→
In honor of Valentine’s Day I’m going to go all reverse romance here. Let’s be real. It’s a made up holiday that benefits the greeting card industry and florists. Overpriced sappy cards and jacked up flower costs. Not to mention the horribly expensive and limited VDay pre-fixe menus here in NYC that are shoved down our throats like a ball gag in 50 Shades. Oh, and that horrible book has been made into a movie that just came out in time for the holiday weekend. Suburban sex starved soccer moms are rejoicing in giddy orgasmic bliss! Seriously, if any dudes are dragged to this mess to see it with their gals they might as well wear a skirt and apply a tampon up their mangina. Rotten Tomatoes has given it a dismal approval rating of 29% while IMDB has a rating of one and a half stars. Yet, I read there are plans to already make sequels. It’s just amazing to me what garbage the American public will consume for entertainment like cattle being led to the slaughter. They are making the author a ton of money like she is in the same writing league as J.K. Rowling. It’s just not right. Then again, if this is what passes for quality erotica nowadays then have at it I guess. I’m just happy to have a great gal with me that would rather go see the new action movie The Kingsmen, then head out for drinks after at a dive bar and listen to heavy metal from the jukebox. Now THAT is romance!
Also, as a great alternative to the movie and actually very funny parody of the book if you ever have a chance to see this musical in NYC then do it – 50 Shades! The Musical. Literally, the actor who portrays Mr Gray just kills it!
Hey, I know everyone is different and some love Valentine’s Day. They clamor that goopy cringe inducing stereotype of what the meaning of the day is meant to represent. Each has their own taste when it comes to romance and what gets their rocks off in the bedroom. Do whatever works for you I say. In the spirit of creepy chubby flying angels, cavity forming conversation hearts, broken flavored condoms, and heart shaped boxes of stale chocolates I present a few images in honor of this day of love! Ahhhh romance….. Continue reading Valentine’s Day in NYC. Forever alone or happily psychotic!→
Welcome Welcome Welcome! Come on in. Let me take that coat. Saunter up to the bar and have a cocktail. Mix and mingle. What’s that you say? Why yes, this soiree is pants optional. I would have it no other way. Have some chips and dip. I made it myself with my special sauce. Secret ingredient that adds a little kick to it. Don’t even ask. So glad you could all cum, and not too early either. No one wants to be arrive prematurely. Kind of spoils the fun, and your underwear. Yet, this is a way to get a good seat for all the action. Relax! Spread your legs, enjoy, and let many sordid tales be told. I even wore my studded assless leather chaps for this one. Yes, I dress to impress.
Just wanted to offer a big shout out to all my guests! Thanks for dropping in. I see some of you even dressed for the occasion. Oh honey, you shouldn’t have worn that. Dude, does your mommy dress you in the dark. You purposely trying not to get laid? Oh, I kid, I kid. No really. Yes, I do. No. So glad you could all make it to my first ever virtual blog party where you get to take over my abode of a twisted blog. Don’t mind some of the creepers lurking around here. I’m sure by the end of the night anyway you’ll all be half naked in the bathroom doing strange things with my loofah to each other. All I ask is that you clean up after your nasty selves, and if some of you pervs end up in my bedroom be prepared to enter the world of internet porn. Not saying I have cameras hidden around my place. Oh, did you remember to sign the waiver and bring it with you? Just want to be protected in case some of you do damage to yourselves playing with the sex swing and assorted toys laying about. They are just for display purposes only. Wink Wink. Oh, don’t mind that little red light in the bookcase and behind the mirror. It’s nothing. Really. Continue reading “Does This Rag Smell Like Chloroform” Blog Party in My Pants!→
There seems to be something in the air. I have viewed this recurring scene what seems like over and over on the streets of NYC during the Spring season many times over the years I have lived here. Couples fighting. In public. One calling the other a few choice names. An exasperated look on their faces. Tears. Anguish. Anger. Usually, it ends with one walking away and leaving the other in the dust. Yes, Spring Breakup Season has arrived!
When Spring finally greets us here in NYC it seems to set off a chemical receptor in people which alerts them that it’s time to remove ths shackles and become uncuffed from their significant others that they have endured the last five months of Winter with. Maybe it’s the fact that they can’t seem to deal with the cabin fever of being stuck inside with the same person after a long wintry season, and when those first days of warmth arrive and those wondrous rays of sunlight hit their faces they can think of one thing only.