What the heck is wrong with people in the world lately?
With so many things going on with violence, abuse, the economy, the political rantings of crazy hair Trump, and mostly trying to figure out if Glenn is alive or deceased on The Walking Dead people have gone apeshit over a cup. Yes, a meaningless stupid red coffee cup. Really people, there are so many other pressing matters in the world to be concerned about than this call to arms for those overly crazy Christian zealots screaming out about a “war on Christmas”. If you are judging your bearing on the religion you adhere to based on a Starbucks coffee cup then you really have to look deep inside your own soul. Or lack of a brain. You all sound like complete morons. Let it go people, and enjoy your Peppermint Mochas. No one is trying to destroy your Christmas spirit by not placing a few decorative pics on your cup. Oh, and yes, whipped cream please! Continue reading Did Satan design those Starbucks red cups this year?→
Getting sick for me is just not an option. Even if it means being patient zero of the zombie apocalypse.
It’s not that I’m an indestructible machine, but just that I rarely, if ever, fall ill. So getting sick to the point that I broke down and had to get my ass to the emergency room was quite a different experience for me. It’s not too often that I admit defeat, and as with my stubborn nature I kind of refuse to take pills and concoctions for every sniffle, fever, cough, ache, and pain. Damn, have you seen all those drug commercials lately with all those crazy side effects. Uncontrollable explosive diarrhea, third eyeballs, webbed fingers, and anal leakage just don’t sound too appealing when looking for a cure. Nope.
I don’t even go to a doctor that often even though I know I am way overdue for a physical. Just a normal pig-headed man, and I give my gal a lot of credit for putting up with me at times. So on Sunday afternoon when I poked my head into the bedroom while she was on the phone with her mom and announced that we had better hit the ER she knew it was serious business. We grabbed a few things, made sure I had my health care insurance card, and jumped into a taxi. Continue reading Fear the Walking Dead Pneumonia!→
In honor of Valentine’s Day I’m going to go all reverse romance here. Let’s be real. It’s a made up holiday that benefits the greeting card industry and florists. Overpriced sappy cards and jacked up flower costs. Not to mention the horribly expensive and limited VDay pre-fixe menus here in NYC that are shoved down our throats like a ball gag in 50 Shades. Oh, and that horrible book has been made into a movie that just came out in time for the holiday weekend. Suburban sex starved soccer moms are rejoicing in giddy orgasmic bliss! Seriously, if any dudes are dragged to this mess to see it with their gals they might as well wear a skirt and apply a tampon up their mangina. Rotten Tomatoes has given it a dismal approval rating of 29% while IMDB has a rating of one and a half stars. Yet, I read there are plans to already make sequels. It’s just amazing to me what garbage the American public will consume for entertainment like cattle being led to the slaughter. They are making the author a ton of money like she is in the same writing league as J.K. Rowling. It’s just not right. Then again, if this is what passes for quality erotica nowadays then have at it I guess. I’m just happy to have a great gal with me that would rather go see the new action movie The Kingsmen, then head out for drinks after at a dive bar and listen to heavy metal from the jukebox. Now THAT is romance!
Also, as a great alternative to the movie and actually very funny parody of the book if you ever have a chance to see this musical in NYC then do it – 50 Shades! The Musical. Literally, the actor who portrays Mr Gray just kills it!
Hey, I know everyone is different and some love Valentine’s Day. They clamor that goopy cringe inducing stereotype of what the meaning of the day is meant to represent. Each has their own taste when it comes to romance and what gets their rocks off in the bedroom. Do whatever works for you I say. In the spirit of creepy chubby flying angels, cavity forming conversation hearts, broken flavored condoms, and heart shaped boxes of stale chocolates I present a few images in honor of this day of love! Ahhhh romance….. Continue reading Valentine’s Day in NYC. Forever alone or happily psychotic!→
Really, wasn’t it Halloween just less than a week ago? I literally still have the taste of this holiday in my mouth as there are plastic buckets full of candy and chocolates strewn about the office I work in and I just can’t keep my hands out of them. Chocolate drool down my chin. This time of year really tests my resolve which is disappearing as the days go on. First Halloween, then Thanksgiving, which then leads to Christmas and New Years. There are only 47 days until Christmas! Only 7 weeks. Just 7 weekends to get all that horrendous shopping done. Hold on now, let’s backtrack a bit. Halloween just ended. What gets me all riled up is that we are already getting bombarded with holiday commercials and Christmas merchandise in the stores. What the eff??? Really, can we just enjoy each holiday first before having the next one shoved down our throats and ripped through our buttholes? Why am I seeing ads for toys and gifts at the major retailers on October 28th? Why does my local Duane Reade already have boxes of Christmas wrap in the windows on November 5th? This lunacy needs to end right now! What’s next? July 4th sales the day after New Years? How about Christmas ads for 2015 the day after Easter? Makes me want to go all Bigfoot on these places and start throwing poop everywhere. Continue reading Really? Christmas, the Flu, NYC Road Rage. What is going on?→