Epic NYC snowstorm that was a blast from the past!
Some of you spoiled millennials whining and crying about the snow, the harsh winter, the sudden cold, and not being able to go out need to get a grip. Waaah – I can’t get to Starbucks! Waaah – I can’t go to brunch today!
This past decade has seen so many mild winters you have no clue. Crap, it was 70 on Christmas here. What more do you want? This winter has been like a flaccid penis until this fluffer of a storm dropped to its knees and went to work in front of Old Man Winter. Yeah, Jonas has no shame. He worked hard for every inch.
Back in my day we normally had winter snowstorms every week, for months, and walked miles to school, uphill, with bare feet, then walked ten miles into town and worked hard labor, and then walked back home in the middle of another blizzard! Hey you kids – off my lawn! Continue reading Snowstorm Jonas had one huge set of snowballs on him!
Am I the only one that loathes the bombardment of Christmas commercials and decorations that we are subjected to these weeks before Thanksgiving? It’s already been one of those weeks here in NYC and I feel as if I’m being abused by the Elf on the Shelf. Now let’s be real here for a moment. That damn thing is creepy. No way do I want a psychopath elf in my house. I don’t know why this strange tradition was started anyway. It’s supposed to be moved to a different spot each night or something. Yeah, let’s traumatize our kids. No, let’s terrorize me because if that little bastard shows up in a different spot other than where I left him I’m burning down the damn house! I freak out a bit when I can’t find my keys and swear something moved them. Anyone remember that evil little Zuni fetish doll in the movie Trilogy of Terror? Yeah THAT evil effing thing that chased Karen Black around and attacked her. I just know that damn elf is the reincarnation of that crazy little shit. Waiting. Plotting. He’s as bad as a creepy clown.
Almost. Clowns suck too. And dolls. They also suck. Nope. Nope. Noppity Nope. Continue reading Buffalo Snow, Elf on a Shelf, Cocaine – All kinds of crazy stuff!
Well, here we are on February 16th here in NYC and it’s 24 degrees this morning. Sure, it is only February which is winter you know. Hey, I’m not complaining since at least it’s not snowing. I don’t mind the cold air and it is sunny outside. I think all of us in this part of the country are just getting sick of seeing snow. So far NYC has seen double the normal amount of the white stuff. Yeah, there are those who love snow, and think it’s all beautiful, picturesque, blah, blah, blah. Then there are those who live for the winter sports season and brag about all the great skiing and snowboarding they have been enjoying. Please, go away and shut the eff up. Those of us who would rather be on a beach with a cold drink or on a jet ski don’t want to hear it. The snow is not pretty anymore. It’s all dirty and grimy looking and a slushy mess here in the city. It’s not fun to play in anymore as the novelty has worn off. I want to walk around without my shoes turning into filth, and the bottoms of my pants looking like I just stepped into a small pond. Oh, and don’t forget those unmaneuverable lakes that show up on every street corner that are impossible to get around unless you have rain boots on, or are one of those freakishly tall NBA players and can walk over them. Plus, I have slipped and landed on my ass twice already. Yup, Spring can’t get here soon enough!
Ok, I get it. I do realize that it is still winter. It’s supposed to be cold and snowy. Yet, this one feels like a bad joke. Here are some pics I found on the net that pretty much sum up our feelings of this winter so far. Nothing like enjoying a lazy Sunday morning with a hot cup of coffee and blogging naked in a warm apartment……. Continue reading Hey, look, more snow on the way! Yay! Now go kill yourself.