Tag Archives: Snow

Snowstorm Jonas had one huge set of snowballs on him!

 

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Epic NYC snowstorm that was a blast from the past!

Some of you spoiled millennials whining and crying about the snow, the harsh winter, the sudden cold, and not being able to go out need to get a grip. Waaah – I can’t get to Starbucks! Waaah – I can’t go to brunch today!

This past decade has seen so many mild winters you have no clue. Crap, it was 70 on Christmas here. What more do you want? This winter has been like a flaccid penis until this fluffer of a storm dropped to its knees and went to work in front of Old Man Winter. Yeah, Jonas has no shame. He worked hard for every inch.

Back in my day we normally had winter snowstorms every week, for months, and walked miles to school, uphill, with bare feet, then walked ten miles into town and worked hard labor, and then walked back home in the middle of another blizzard! Hey you kids – off my lawn! Continue reading Snowstorm Jonas had one huge set of snowballs on him!

Snowmageddon 2016! Buy All The Stuff In NYC!

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Oh, come on now people! They are talking a little snowfall and everyone is acting as if in panic apocalypse mode at the supermarkets!

We have had nothing but mild weather this winter so far so no one should be complaining about the recent spate of colder air. Heck, its January 21, don’t you all think that old man icy butt himself would show up sooner or later? I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt the day before Christmas. Doesn’t that alarm anyone? I’m not saying that global warming is a thing, but when I’m almost naked running through the streets of NYC when I should be bundled up like an Eskimo perhaps there might be a bit of a cause for concern?

It’s pretty interesting to observe how a snow forecast can dissolve the resolve of even the most hearty individuals into frantically frightened nincompoops. I experienced this first hand last night when I dropped into the supermarket to pick up some things for dinner. Here it was only Wednesday and the store was packed as everyone was in a mad dash to glom every carton of eggs, gallon of milk, and roll of toilet paper in sight! How much can one poop in two days? Do people think that we are going to be stranded as a civilization for months upon months with no supplies when all we are forecasted to receive is around 12 inches of snow? Manhattan might only get 4-6 inches. What is wrong with people? This ain’t Castaway where we will all go insane and end up talking to a volleyball. Wilson!!! Continue reading Snowmageddon 2016! Buy All The Stuff In NYC!

Snow, Selfies, Fires, Sniffing Glue – Another Week in NYC!

 

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As I am sitting here in my favorite coffee shop on the Upper East Side on this cold and blustery NYC morning I’m looking out the window and pondering the sweet mysteries of life. Most notably right now I’m watching the wind blow around the snow flurries that are coming down. Snow! God damn snow! It’s supposed to be Spring dammit! Go away Winter, enough already. I’ll be the first to admit I do like the colder dry air of the winter season but this is getting on my last nerve. All I ask for now is a few days of sunny weather in the 50’s at this point. Is that asking too much? Oh great, now it’s really coming down. It looks like we’re inside a giant snow globe. It’s 33 and snowing out yet there are some idiots walking by wearing shorts. People here are getting so pissed off at the weather they are rebelling. That’s all cool as I’m kind of like that too, but I’m not dumb enough to go out and catch pneumonia. As they saying goes, I might be dumb but I ain’t stupid! Continue reading Snow, Selfies, Fires, Sniffing Glue – Another Week in NYC!

Karma, Schadenfreude, and Laughing at Winter Morons in NYC.

 

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I just can’t help myself. Call it being evil, lack of compassion, or just plain juvenile. I get a kick out of other’s minor misfortunes. Namely, those that deserve it here in NYC. You know the types. Those who are overly self centered, inconsiderate, snarky, or just plain douchebags. Nothing wrong with a good chuckle at their misfortune. Then again, I laugh at pretty much anyone when the time, and ridiculous circumstances arise. Lord knows I have had my share of mishaps that had people giggling at my displeasure. I have slipped and fallen flat on my back, strepped into piles of dog poop that engulfed my whole foot, and even walked through a plate glass door. Oh, that last one has happened a few times. How I’m not stitched up like Frankenstein escapes me. I know karma is a bitch, but I still have at it when seeing someone first hand do something dumb, or have something idiotic happen to them. Winter season here in NYC is such a great time to people watch and get my jollies. Here are a few that get my funny bone going. Schadenfreude is my co-pilot. Continue reading Karma, Schadenfreude, and Laughing at Winter Morons in NYC.