Getting sick for me is just not an option. Even if it means being patient zero of the zombie apocalypse.
It’s not that I’m an indestructible machine, but just that I rarely, if ever, fall ill. So getting sick to the point that I broke down and had to get my ass to the emergency room was quite a different experience for me. It’s not too often that I admit defeat, and as with my stubborn nature I kind of refuse to take pills and concoctions for every sniffle, fever, cough, ache, and pain. Damn, have you seen all those drug commercials lately with all those crazy side effects. Uncontrollable explosive diarrhea, third eyeballs, webbed fingers, and anal leakage just don’t sound too appealing when looking for a cure. Nope.
I don’t even go to a doctor that often even though I know I am way overdue for a physical. Just a normal pig-headed man, and I give my gal a lot of credit for putting up with me at times. So on Sunday afternoon when I poked my head into the bedroom while she was on the phone with her mom and announced that we had better hit the ER she knew it was serious business. We grabbed a few things, made sure I had my health care insurance card, and jumped into a taxi. Continue reading Fear the Walking Dead Pneumonia!
Really, wasn’t it Halloween just less than a week ago? I literally still have the taste of this holiday in my mouth as there are plastic buckets full of candy and chocolates strewn about the office I work in and I just can’t keep my hands out of them. Chocolate drool down my chin. This time of year really tests my resolve which is disappearing as the days go on. First Halloween, then Thanksgiving, which then leads to Christmas and New Years. There are only 47 days until Christmas! Only 7 weeks. Just 7 weekends to get all that horrendous shopping done. Hold on now, let’s backtrack a bit. Halloween just ended. What gets me all riled up is that we are already getting bombarded with holiday commercials and Christmas merchandise in the stores. What the eff??? Really, can we just enjoy each holiday first before having the next one shoved down our throats and ripped through our buttholes? Why am I seeing ads for toys and gifts at the major retailers on October 28th? Why does my local Duane Reade already have boxes of Christmas wrap in the windows on November 5th? This lunacy needs to end right now! What’s next? July 4th sales the day after New Years? How about Christmas ads for 2015 the day after Easter? Makes me want to go all Bigfoot on these places and start throwing poop everywhere. Continue reading Really? Christmas, the Flu, NYC Road Rage. What is going on?
Has it really been two years since I started posting my ridiculous thoughts, observations, gluttony, and depravity on this blog The Regular Guy NYC? Looking back over my scribble it just so happens that October is my two year anniversary of this madness that I have been vomiting out all over this blog. Where did the time go? In the words of the legendary anchorman Ron Burgundy – “Well, that escalated quickly”. I don’t know about you all but sometimes I can’t even believe the stuff that gets splattered all over this blog, and for some reason you all keep reading it. It’s like a pain and pleasure thing. It hurts so good, but you keep coming back for more. Like a car wreck that you can’t turn away from. I keep posting and you can’t seem to stop staring at my insides cooking like road pizza on the hot asphalt. What can I say? Many of you are just as demented, vile, raunchy, and sick as I am. I dig crazy, and really appreciate all of the support, comments, and feedback I have received and continue to receive here, even if it borders on stalking. By the way, does this rag smell like chloroform? Come, step into my unmarked white van of blogging! Continue reading Projectile blog vomiting all over NYC for two years now!
Getting sick really sucks when living in NYC. Yeah, I know it pretty much sucks anywhere you live and get sick, but it absolutely kills me when I am projectile vomiting across the streets of Manhattan. I’m the type that never really falls ill, so when it does happen it’s a total shock to my system. It’s not just the fact of feeling like dog poop, but it’s also knowing that I’m stuck inside for days while the world is going on outside my apartment in NYC. No matter how many years I have lived here now I still feel a certain rush of excitement when stepping out for the night whether it be for dinner, a movie, an event, hitting Central park, or just plain old bar hopping. Also, I just happened to get sick right when the weather changed and Spring poked it’s head out from behind the dreary doldroms of Winter’s grasp. So when we had a few nicer days out this past week I was literally nauseous green with envy as I languished in bed or just couch surfed for days while working from home. Also, I can’t forget the numerous misadventures to the vomitorium that used to be my bathroom. I swear that room looked like a scene from one of the Saw movies after I was done with it. Continue reading Projectile vomiting and getting sick in NYC!