Tag Archives: rant

Doggy Bags, Leftovers, Facehuggers. Oh My!

The fear of the unknown, or just the love of food?

We had just finished dinner the other night after work at one of our favorite pizza joints. It’s a local’s spot that serves up terrific oven baked pizzas, assorted pastas, and Italian plates. One of those spots where you can order up normal human sized plates, or dive head-in and be a total gluttonous man-beast  slob freak and order a “family style” portion. Of course, we went with the “food baby coma” size pasta dish along with a medium pizza.

Continue reading Doggy Bags, Leftovers, Facehuggers. Oh My!

I am judging you. I’m judging you hard, New Yorkers.

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As I am turning into a human bathhouse walking the streets of NYC I look around and view people of all types seemingly oblivious to the NYC summer heat and humidity. I don’t get it. There are those walking past me with layers of clothes on, heavy jackets, and thick jeans. Like it’s cold out. I am not kidding here as during my 5 mile run last night in Central Park I actually saw a dude jogging in jeans! IN JEANS! Can you just imagine peeling those off after that? Muenster cheese anyone?

Pretty much how I feel walking around NYC during this heat and humidity – Continue reading I am judging you. I’m judging you hard, New Yorkers.

Snowmageddon 2016! Buy All The Stuff In NYC!

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Oh, come on now people! They are talking a little snowfall and everyone is acting as if in panic apocalypse mode at the supermarkets!

We have had nothing but mild weather this winter so far so no one should be complaining about the recent spate of colder air. Heck, its January 21, don’t you all think that old man icy butt himself would show up sooner or later? I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt the day before Christmas. Doesn’t that alarm anyone? I’m not saying that global warming is a thing, but when I’m almost naked running through the streets of NYC when I should be bundled up like an Eskimo perhaps there might be a bit of a cause for concern?

It’s pretty interesting to observe how a snow forecast can dissolve the resolve of even the most hearty individuals into frantically frightened nincompoops. I experienced this first hand last night when I dropped into the supermarket to pick up some things for dinner. Here it was only Wednesday and the store was packed as everyone was in a mad dash to glom every carton of eggs, gallon of milk, and roll of toilet paper in sight! How much can one poop in two days? Do people think that we are going to be stranded as a civilization for months upon months with no supplies when all we are forecasted to receive is around 12 inches of snow? Manhattan might only get 4-6 inches. What is wrong with people? This ain’t Castaway where we will all go insane and end up talking to a volleyball. Wilson!!! Continue reading Snowmageddon 2016! Buy All The Stuff In NYC!

Days like this make you wish you had stayed in bed!

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Why is it that these things always seem to happen to me?

Just recently on the way to work I jumped into a crowded subway car, and of course as is my normal luck, be trapped in an uncomfortable situation. No, not the kind where someone is grinding up against you and getting their jollies. That happens so often here in NYC during rush hour it’s almost part of the daily commute. No, this was actually worse. The guy standing right next to me, almost in my lap actually, smelled like festering day old bologna. No joke. It’s almost as if he had a salami sandwich stuffed into his underwear. Oh yeah, the AC was also not really working in this car.

Then, the worst thing you can hear during a moment like this. “Due to a signal malfunction we are being held here until we get the ok to proceed”.  Oh hell no. Stuck between stations for who knows how long, and with no windows open to let out the stench of rotting deli meat. This subway car was so packed no one could move. Even worse was I think the guy behind me was really grinding against my ass. All I kept thinking was that I was going to walk into work smelling like this bologna guy and my coworkers would want to fumigate the office.

So here I am wedged between a roll of human liverwurst and a giant Chihuahua dry humping my leg. Could this day get any worse? You bet it can! Continue reading Days like this make you wish you had stayed in bed!