Tag Archives: penis

Life can be cruel when you can’t view your penis anymore!

 

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Celebrating another successful 5K race finish! Lean and mean. With a brunch cocktail of course.

Life can be cruel when you can’t view your penis anymore!

Yeah, I have been kind of absent from the blogiverse lately as I have been focused on getting my bloated man-ass back in shape. I had a bit of a wake up call not too long ago that made me realize I needed to embark on a drastic call to action. Well, it was a few things actually. One – when I had to go out and purchase 40 inch waist jeans (yeah, that was demoralizing). Two – when it was becoming uncomfortable to even bend over and pick up my keys when I dropped them (nothing like a fat belly mocking me). Three – when I looked down and realized I could not see my penis ( Oh Hellz No!).  You would think a missing penis would send up a red flag or something. Alert! Alert! Danger! Danger Will Robinson!

Yet, that was not the breaking point.

For a guy who always prided himself on his strength, fitness, and youthful outlook on life I would know better, right? Be more self-aware of what I was doing to my body. I had gained way too much weight, become sluggish, and fairly unhealthy. As a former personal trainer with years of past experience, and constant gym member I was ignoring the blatant signs that my body was signalling to me. Maybe the final straw was participating in the Cupid’s Undie Run on Valentine’s Day weekend and seeing how bad I really looked in pictures taken that afternoon. Sure, I had a blast with a great group of friends, and also drank a lot that day before and after the run as it was for a terrific charity cause, but those pictures were damning. Continue reading Life can be cruel when you can’t view your penis anymore!

They find my blog through Superhero Penis Porn?

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Now that the holiday season is behind us and we are all recovered somewhat from Christmas shopping and New Years hangovers, there is time to relax and reflect a bit. Catching up on my blogging. Once in a while I take a peek into my blog stats as I’m sitting here naked on our rich Corinthian leather couch enjoying a cup of International Coffee (peppermint mocha) and peruse the search terms by which those out there are using to find my blog. Some are the run of the mill keywords which are as expected. Then there are those that are, well, a “bit disturbing” if that is a proper way to put it. I honestly have no clue as to why these word combinations lead to my blog. I mean, I know that I can be a bit warped at times, but am I really this insane? Just taking a looksie into the past week’s stats to start off the new year here are a few choice search terms I found were used to find my blog.

Penis Superhero Porn

What. The. Hell? Is this really a thing? I do know that the porn industry mimics the Hollywood blockbusters. Yet I have never heard of specific porn that features a “superhero penis.” Does it have a mind of it’s own? Continue reading They find my blog through Superhero Penis Porn?

Let’s Erect Carlos Danger as Mayor of NYC!

tumblr_mqgge9iugk1ql0gxeo1_500The news coming out regarding the Mayor’s race here in NYC just becomes weirder and weirder as the days progress. It seems there is a lot more hidden that is just a zipper pull away from being released upon a ravenous public itching for more of Carlos Danger! His overexposed member just seems to be everywhere these days. It’s the talk of the town. I’m really starting to think that Carlos is real, and hacked into poor Anthony Weiner’s Twitter account. He wants exposure and the more he gets the more excited he becomes. He loves the ladies, and the ladies can’t seem to get enough of Carlos Danger! He is a man about town, and the more dangerous he is, the more the glamorous he becomes. After the last 36 years of Mayor Bloomberg’s overdrawn and boring dictatorship locking down the city and turning it into a homogenized Disneyland we need someone like Carlos Danger to spice it up a bit and set us free! I can just envision it –  Continue reading Let’s Erect Carlos Danger as Mayor of NYC!

It’s all Penis Politics in NYC!

image001Oh, how the mighty have fallen LIMP but now RISE to the occasion when it comes to NYC politics! Like another shot of viagra into the NYC political scene we now have reports of disgraced former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer wanting to jump back into the fray, and headlines, of the upcoming elections. Seems as if “Client 9”, as he was known to his arranged hookers, wants to run for the office of NYC Comptroller. Not only does this reek of desperation, and that of a man so crazily determined to hold a position of power again, that it’s almost pathetic. What’s even more pathetic to me is that his wife actually stayed with him after it was revealed he had spent around $100,000 on about 20 visits to high paid “talent”. What was she thinking? Does Eliot have a “magic penis” or something? Does it sing and dance? Does it do the laundry too? Can it make me a sammich? ( Strike that last one – don’t want to know where the special sauce comes from! ) Continue reading It’s all Penis Politics in NYC!