Tag Archives: panic

Snowmageddon 2016! Buy All The Stuff In NYC!

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Oh, come on now people! They are talking a little snowfall and everyone is acting as if in panic apocalypse mode at the supermarkets!

We have had nothing but mild weather this winter so far so no one should be complaining about the recent spate of colder air. Heck, its January 21, don’t you all think that old man icy butt himself would show up sooner or later? I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt the day before Christmas. Doesn’t that alarm anyone? I’m not saying that global warming is a thing, but when I’m almost naked running through the streets of NYC when I should be bundled up like an Eskimo perhaps there might be a bit of a cause for concern?

It’s pretty interesting to observe how a snow forecast can dissolve the resolve of even the most hearty individuals into frantically frightened nincompoops. I experienced this first hand last night when I dropped into the supermarket to pick up some things for dinner. Here it was only Wednesday and the store was packed as everyone was in a mad dash to glom every carton of eggs, gallon of milk, and roll of toilet paper in sight! How much can one poop in two days? Do people think that we are going to be stranded as a civilization for months upon months with no supplies when all we are forecasted to receive is around 12 inches of snow? Manhattan might only get 4-6 inches. What is wrong with people? This ain’t Castaway where we will all go insane and end up talking to a volleyball. Wilson!!! Continue reading Snowmageddon 2016! Buy All The Stuff In NYC!

Holy crap my cell phone died! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

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There is nothing more terrifying than having your cell phone die on you! In this day and age of being connected 24/7 the ability to tap a few aps, access a phone list, use social networking, or surf the net with the touch of a finger is a godsend to me as I am always using them, as are many others out there reading this I’m sure. I’m a Droid phone guy and swear by it. I love my phone as if it’s my own child. My phone is like a part of me, and I feel totally naked without it. Oh, the agony! I feel as if my puppy has been taken away from me. Well, actually it feels more like a kick in the groin! I was using it this morning as I normally do to check my email and Facebook and all of a sudden it just froze. After repeatedly trying to start and unstart it with no reaction I removed the battery and popped it back in. Still nothing and still frozen. Then it made some weird screen pixilation and went black. Oh my God – I just witnessed the cell phone equivalent of a person dying with it’s last gasp in my arms! I literally started to feel queasy. I started to panic at the thought of being disconnected from the world for a whole day. That, and I can’t remember anyone’s phone numbers anymore! I’m screwed! Continue reading Holy crap my cell phone died! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Run, hoard, and hide! Here comes the snow NYC!

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Well, here we are again in another winter season. It’s December and a week away from Christmas. Full swing into the holiday season. People are packing the malls, shopping online, and scurrying to take advantage of the many last minute sales and discounts. We have already seen a few small snowfalls here in NYC that have thrown the public into panic mode! It just never amazes me how even a few inches of snow in the forecast nowadays gets overblown into a catastrophic event! I really think it’s a conspiracy by the news channels, weather forecasters, internet sites, and newspapers to help spread fear while generating higher ratings and sales. Why does every teeny snow squall have to be assigned a name of doom? Watch out for “Snowstorm Ass Ripper” that is looking to dump a total of two inches of the white stuff on us! Be deathly afraid of “Mega-storm Skid Mark” which will coat us with upwards of three inches of Hell! Run for your lives as “Crazy Storm Turd Burglar ” leaves us trudging through a Hellish inch of the fluffy stuff! As soon as the news starts talking about the upcoming snowfalls in these terms the inevitable happens. People run to the supermarkets and bodegas scrambling to scoop up every supply item they can to help survive the onslaught of snow that we mostly never end up really seeing. It’s like every snow day is a re-creation of Black Friday panic! Grab all the bacon!!!  Continue reading Run, hoard, and hide! Here comes the snow NYC!