As I am turning into a human bathhouse walking the streets of NYC I look around and view people of all types seemingly oblivious to the NYC summer heat and humidity. I don’t get it. There are those walking past me with layers of clothes on, heavy jackets, and thick jeans. Like it’s cold out. I am not kidding here as during my 5 mile run last night in Central Park I actually saw a dude jogging in jeans! IN JEANS! Can you just imagine peeling those off after that? Muenster cheese anyone?
Pretty much how I feel walking around NYC during this heat and humidity – Continue reading I am judging you. I’m judging you hard, New Yorkers.
I made a mortal mistake yesterday. It’s one of those things that every New Yorker is aware of, and only non-knowing amateurs stumble into. Being a seasoned NYC inhabitant I just don’t know what came over me. Maybe it was a moment of blissful ignorance as I was heading home from work with my earbuds in and rocking out to my favorite tunes. Perhaps I just had a brain fart and didn’t realize until it was too late. I did the one thing we all know never to do.
I walked into an empty subway car on the way home from work yesterday.
I should have immediately recognized the tell-tale warning signs. Rush hour crowds on the platform. The crowded subway cars rolling by as the train pulled in. The two adjoined cars before and after it filled with commuters. Whatever made me enter that empty subway car is beyond me, but I did stupidly do it in a blindly bad moment of decision-making. What’s worse is that I did not even realize what I had done before it was too late and the doors closed right behind me. I was oblivious to those entering and running out as if they were getting attacked by a swarm of hornets. As soon as that disgustingly pungent stomach turning aroma hit me I knew I was in a heap of trouble. Yet, escape was not an option. It was too late. Continue reading The Danger of Entering an Empty NYC Subway Car!
There is one thing that we all can relate too, no matter if we live in NYC, Tuscaloosa, Antarctica, or Mars. Public farting is pretty nasty, especially when we are forced to inhale someone else’s fumes of death! Damn, most of the time we don’t even want to smell our own. So when those inconsiderate dillweeds decide to cropdust us against our will there is nothing else we can do but hold our breath and softly weep. In my opinion some places are even worse than others.
The Top 5 places where is it absolutely reprehensible and devoid of any strain of humanity to fart in public! Those of you who subject innocent people to the abomination that is the essence of your putrid odoriferous attack should be beaten within an inch of their smelly lives! Continue reading Public Farting and Killer Fumes in NYC!