Tag Archives: money

I’m on Vacation! Pina Coladas, Island Hopping, Off The Grid!

 

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I’m on vacation! Hand me a frozen cocktail and don’t be stingy with the rum!

Finally going on a real vacation out of the country for a week. Heading out on a Caribbean cruise with my gal and parents. Dad likes to drink and mom likes to gamble. We all love to eat. On a cruise ship that is a winning, if deadly, combination. Drinking, eating, gambling, island hopping and shopping. I think I might experience almost all of the Seven Deadly Sins over these seven days. We’ll make the most of it though I’m sure and have some great fun. I just need to keep in mind a list of things to adhere to that will help make my vacation time more enjoyable. Lord knows spending the week with the parental units will cause some stress to begin with.

1. I will not be on social networks of any kind as soon as that cruise ship pulls away from the port. It’s called a vacation for a reason! I am totally disconnecting for a week. Off the grid. Incommunicado. Lost in space. See ya!

2. I will not be posting vacation pictures on Facebook, Instagram, Yelp, Twitter, Snapchat, Tinder, LinkedIn, Clown Sex Weekly, or any other internet site. I will not be one of  “those” people who feel the need to post a million pictures of everywhere they go every minute of their vacations on social media. It’s almost as if people forgot how to actually kick back and enjoy the destinations and sights they experience. They just run around looking for photo ops to quickly post and show off to their friends and followers. Dozens of pictures. Hundreds of them. Thousands. Honestly, none of us really care. Just stop already. Go have fun, enjoy, and download the pics when you get back. We’ll see them later on. Continue reading I’m on Vacation! Pina Coladas, Island Hopping, Off The Grid!

Go screw your 2014 New Year’s Resolutions!

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Every year it seems we are all pressured to come up with New Year’s resolutions as if trying to enrich our lives and send us on a path of health and inner happiness. We are trapped into a way of thinking that if we make a list of idiotic things to acccomplish that our lives, and those around us, will be all for the better. I call BS on that! Not one year in my life have I actually accomplished any resolution I made on New Year’s day. Do you all realize how hard it really is? Then, we all get that abject feeling of failure that inevitably accompanies each resolution downfall. Well, I for one say “NO MORE”! It’s time to do away with this stupid tradition and come up with a better plan. Therefore, I propose to you that we set up a list of “Anti-Resolutions” for the New Year! Things that we can honestly have a chance of succeeding at. Think of it as the “Festivus” of New Year’s!

Here is my list of Anti-Resolutions that I know I will accomplish –

1. Eat more bacon. There is no way in Hell that I will blow this one. How can I not succeed? It’s the meat candy of the world and I would bathe in it if I could. Continue reading Go screw your 2014 New Year’s Resolutions!

Black Friday, Cyber Monday, White Peeps? Bah! Humbug!

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Now that we are firmly past Thanksgiving and heading fast towards Christmas I really have to breathe a sigh of relief that Black Friday and Cyber Monday are done and finished. I am not a fan of either. No way in heck will you find me shopping on Black Friday – the only shopping day of the year where there is a body count! Especially if you dare challenge your life expectancy by heading over to Walmart! From what I have read and seen on the news it’s like the zombie apocalypse unleashed and they are all attacking each other over a toaster. I just don’t get the attraction of hitting an overcrowded store on the same exact day that almost the whole population of the country packs into it. Obnoxious and unruly people, long lines, aggravation, screaming kids, and the list goes on and on. Many times the store runs out of advertised inventory, and more so because most special sales items are in limited supply. That why you have these idiots camping out overnight outside on the sidewalk to make sure they get that blender, ugly sweater, or B-grade flat screen on sale! Woo Hoo! Then, be prepared to be assaulted by throngs of the undead as they push themselves past the doors at opening time. Fun stuff!

Continue reading Black Friday, Cyber Monday, White Peeps? Bah! Humbug!

Holiday commercials already? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

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Um, really? I just saw a Christmas commercial and it’s not even Halloween yet! What is wrong with this picture? Do we really need to have the upcoming holiday season shoved down our throats like this before we even have a chance to enjoy the one we are at? Also, I was out shopping yesterday and what did I see? Christmas decorations on the shelves. Oh hellz no. It’s almost as if the big name department stores are so desperate to suck the money out of our wallets that they need to play mind control games on us to make sure we are conditioned to spend spend spend! Hello, let’s not forget about Thankgiving! Personally, I don’t even want to think about the major shopping holiday coming up before I enjoy engorging myself on delicious turkey and stuffing. We still have 58 more days dammit! That’s almost two months away. I feel as if we are being bent over by old Saint Nick and Santa is having his way with us! HO-HO-HO! Continue reading Holiday commercials already? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!