It is amazing the extremes most of us go through here to live in NYC. The annoying crowds. The smells of rotting trash in the summer. Sweltering subway platforms. Our arrogant Mayor acting as Big Brother. Large soda anyone? The ridiculous cost of living and high rental prices. Oh, and I can’t forget all those little critters that seem to show up more often during the hot humid weather season. What the heck was that thing? A cat or a rat? Holy shat it’s a cockroach! Seriously, these nasty things are everywhere and will never, ever, go away. Plus, they seem to be getting bigger as if they were exposed to radiation in a 1950’s cheesy sci-fi flick. As I am observing this thing cross my path along the sidewalk I think “Hey Mayoro Bloombito – why don’t you outlaw all these creepy crawlers too while you are at it. Banish them to New Jersey or some other strange land!” (sorry Jersey-ites)
Then, I started to think about all the things us New Yorkers actually stop to observe. Some might be universal. We just have to stop and look. Here are a few that come to mind. Continue reading The Crazy Things We Stop To Stare At In NYC!
I just received the most wonderful news! It looks like that email I received not too long ago regarding a transfer of some dead guy’s fortune was not really a scam at all. Somehow, it seems the money is really there and ready to be transferred to my bank account. Now that Teruca has taken care of her mysterious adopted daughter her late husband’s fortune is ready to be shared with me! I’m going to be a millionaire!
Seems legit, right? Here is her message to me copied in it’s entirety exactly as it was sent – Continue reading I’m rich! I’m wealthy! I want to share my fortune with you!
There is one thing that we all can relate too, no matter if we live in NYC, Tuscaloosa, Antarctica, or Mars. Public farting is pretty nasty, especially when we are forced to inhale someone else’s fumes of death! Damn, most of the time we don’t even want to smell our own. So when those inconsiderate dillweeds decide to cropdust us against our will there is nothing else we can do but hold our breath and softly weep. In my opinion some places are even worse than others.
The Top 5 places where is it absolutely reprehensible and devoid of any strain of humanity to fart in public! Those of you who subject innocent people to the abomination that is the essence of your putrid odoriferous attack should be beaten within an inch of their smelly lives! Continue reading Public Farting and Killer Fumes in NYC!
The news coming out regarding the Mayor’s race here in NYC just becomes weirder and weirder as the days progress. It seems there is a lot more hidden that is just a zipper pull away from being released upon a ravenous public itching for more of Carlos Danger! His overexposed member just seems to be everywhere these days. It’s the talk of the town. I’m really starting to think that Carlos is real, and hacked into poor Anthony Weiner’s Twitter account. He wants exposure and the more he gets the more excited he becomes. He loves the ladies, and the ladies can’t seem to get enough of Carlos Danger! He is a man about town, and the more dangerous he is, the more the glamorous he becomes. After the last 36 years of Mayor Bloomberg’s overdrawn and boring dictatorship locking down the city and turning it into a homogenized Disneyland we need someone like Carlos Danger to spice it up a bit and set us free! I can just envision it – Continue reading Let’s Erect Carlos Danger as Mayor of NYC!