Tag Archives: humor

Bozo the MTA, and the Normal Monday Gut Punch.

Just like death, taxes, and the Jets always losing there is one constant in life for New Yorkers. That, my friends, is the NYC MTA subway system breaking down on a Monday morning!

It never fails. No matter what the weather conditions are, or the time of year, you can almost schedule it like clockwork that on Monday mornings during rush hour you will be greeted by delays. It’s always the same jumble of convoluted double-speak that you can barely decipher being announced on the barely comprehensible public address system. I think this is done on purpose.

As I descended to the subway platform this rainy morning it was nothing but mixed mumbo-jumbo at 8am. The last thing anyone wants to hear to start off the week. As if Monday’s don’t suck enough after a nice weekend that always ends too soon. Continue reading Bozo the MTA, and the Normal Monday Gut Punch.

Monday Funday – Greetings From the MTA!

I swear, there is nothing more infuriating to a New Yorker than being held captive by a mass transit system constantly on the verge of major collapse.

We here in the NYC area, millions of us, rely on the MTA subway system to get us back and forth to our places of employment every day, week, and month. In a timely manner.  LOL – yeah, and I’m gonna be the next big Hollywood action star! Get to da choppa!

Yet, here I was, along with my sweat stained brethren and sisters once again left jam-packed on a subway platform to nowhere. Oh, this one was a doozy. Totally unforeseen as we descended to the underground platforms that had become as hot as Beelzebub’s anal cavity since we were just coming off a 90 degree weekend. Dammit, it’s Autumn! It’s not supposed to be this hot out. Yet, here we all were, a sweaty mass of humanity aligned shoulder to shoulder resembling fish in sardine can.  ( and some people smelling like one – c’mon people use deodorant! ) Waiting. Waiting. More waiting.

Help? Continue reading Monday Funday – Greetings From the MTA!

I am judging you. I’m judging you hard, New Yorkers.

Related image

As I am turning into a human bathhouse walking the streets of NYC I look around and view people of all types seemingly oblivious to the NYC summer heat and humidity. I don’t get it. There are those walking past me with layers of clothes on, heavy jackets, and thick jeans. Like it’s cold out. I am not kidding here as during my 5 mile run last night in Central Park I actually saw a dude jogging in jeans! IN JEANS! Can you just imagine peeling those off after that? Muenster cheese anyone?

Pretty much how I feel walking around NYC during this heat and humidity – Continue reading I am judging you. I’m judging you hard, New Yorkers.

Is That a Human Turd? The Mysteries of NYC Living.

So, I went to meet my gal at Penn Station the other night after she went out to spend the day with relatives and the first thing she says when she sees me?

“Someone took a huge dump on the train platform! Not just one, but three giant piles of turds!”  I laughed, and suggested that maybe it was someone’s dog that pooped there. “Hell no!” she stated. “That was human dukies. No way was that some Pomeranian poop! She was obviously disgusted. Perhaps a bit mortified.

Of course, being the jaded New Yorker that I am I wanted to go down and take pictures of this monster pile of human excrement, but the look she gave me with the side-eye suggested otherwise if I knew what was good for me. Heck, I have enough food porn pics on my cell phone, so why not just add this to my collection? Salad pic. Soup pic. Salmon pic. Dessert pic. Giant turd pic. Fits right in! Continue reading Is That a Human Turd? The Mysteries of NYC Living.