As I am turning into a human bathhouse walking the streets of NYC I look around and view people of all types seemingly oblivious to the NYC summer heat and humidity. I don’t get it. There are those walking past me with layers of clothes on, heavy jackets, and thick jeans. Like it’s cold out. I am not kidding here as during my 5 mile run last night in Central Park I actually saw a dude jogging in jeans! IN JEANS! Can you just imagine peeling those off after that? Muenster cheese anyone?
Summertime is supposed to be warm, we get that. I know that we can all expect muggy days here and there. Bright weekends at the park. Sun drenched days at the beach. The occasional hot and humid afternoons. Summer in NYC is usually filled with these types of days, but hot damn, this heat wave is hotter than Satan’s asshole! Another day of record heat in the 90’s that actually feels like it’s over 100 outside. Is this some kind of crazy joke that Mother Nature is pulling on us? I feel like I am actually melting if I stay outside for more than a few minutes! I can smell the soles of my sneakers burning!
I actually read today on the Gothamist that NYC broke the all time power record usage. Good lord I hope that ConEd can keep up with the power demand during this heat wave. No way in Hell that anyone wants to deal with a power outage right now. Even the Pillsbury Doughboy would end up baking like a croissant on the sidewalk out here. I am ready too see people explode in spontaneous combustion.
That is the resounding chant that this fellow New Yorker can hear being mumbled under the breath of many passerby. I mean, let’s be real, the winter season in NYC is pretty long and dreary. Sure, we have lucked out these past bunch of years here in the city with really not that much snowfall, but the days are still long, cold, and dark. The blustery arctic-like winds make us yearn for warm sun upon our faces. The occasional sunny day turns into cloud covered rainy ones. Yet, with the season comes such crazy weather, and makes us wonder if global warming is the real deal. One day it’s 30 degrees out, and the next 55 and sunny, then a few days later we get six inches of snow, and makes us wonder what the heck is going on. I’m just waiting for Al Gore to proclaim he invented global warming, and for Mayoro Bloombito to enact a new regulation on the amount of sunlight we are all allowed to take in each day. Continue reading March Lion Gives Way to Lamb Swamp Ass in NYC!→