Tag Archives: Hell

Up in the air at 30,000 feet with a demon child!

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Well, here we go again. Off on a biz trip and jet-setting to wonderfully fabulous glitzy Las Vegas! Yeah, I wish. I’m actually sitting on a crowded flight on my way to steamy hot humid Florida to attend a convention and then spend a few days with the parental units. Accompanying us on this plane is the demon child from Hades. I need a stiff drink already.

You know, Florida, the clown car of a state that if the Jerry Springer show had invented it would be a perfect setting for the next Sharnado movie. Heck, I like the cheesy Sharknado movies. The next one should be based in Disney World, and have flying sharks and zombies attacking and eating the tourists. B-list guest stars like Shaq, Snoop Dog, the Olsen Twins, the crew of The Love Boat, and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills all get devoured or help save the day. Even a drunken John Stamos shows up in a cameo to get pulled over with another DUI, and gets swallowed whole by a Great White as he is doing the drunk “walk the line” test. Yet, I kid Florida. I kid. Hey, if not for Florida and Vegas the show COPS would have never existed. That there’s quality programming folks. Continue reading Up in the air at 30,000 feet with a demon child!

Riding Hell in a Handbasket all the way to NYC

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You ever go through a day and wonder where has all the time gone?

It’s become one of those days that even if I cloned myself there would still not be enough time to get everything done. I am sitting here taking a breather while wolfing down lunch just to type this while on another window trying to answer all my emails. It’s a repetitive vicious cycle that never seems to end. On one side I feel as if I’m all caught up and raring to go as if I’m pumped up on Viagra and Red Bull, and then on the other I’m all limp as a wet noodle running in quicksand and just can’t get invigorated enough to jump over the hump. My brain feels like a bowl of jello, and not one of the good flavors. More like that green lime monstrosity that no one really seems to like. Maybe I need a mental health day soon. A day to chill out with a few drinks and lay in the sun. I really don’t take enough days off. Maybe it’s just me but I feel that if I take a well deserved day off now and now everything will end up as “Hell in a Handbasket”. Then it’s more of a shit show to deal with when I get back. I need a day soon.

Even then, as I close my eyes and let that warm sun drench my face the bluebird of happiness would probably take a seagull sized dump on my head. Isn’t life swell? Continue reading Riding Hell in a Handbasket all the way to NYC