Tag Archives: funny

Evilly delicious laughs in NYC

21837512I’m a people watcher. I just can’t help myself. When you live in a city populated with around 19,000,000 people there are just so many things they can do that can go hysterically wrong on a daily basis. Hey, I’m not perfect and can be a klutz at times myself. Yet, being the New Yorker that I am, there are moments when I can’t help but snicker at these hapless victims. It is just so evilly delicious when you come upon moments like these that leave an indelible image in your brain for the day. Yeah, I know it’s kind of mean, but I am wired to be a bit warped that way!

Some of my viewing guilty pleasures –

1) Guys in suits picking up piles of dog crap with their hand in a plastic bag. I even snicker more when it’s a hot sticky summer day out!

2) Women who’s ankles look like they are snapping in half because they are walking in super high heels and don’t really know how to walk in them. Snap, crackle, pop!

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Mr Sandman must hate New Yorkers

rod-smart-he-hate-me-nflMr Sandman. He hate me.

I seem to have a love/hate relationship with Mr Sandman lately. I love sleep, but I think he hates me. Recently, I have been trying to go to bed a bit earlier just to get some extra shut eye. Of course, now when I do that I can’t fall alseep right away. Like many of us I have developed a bad habit of watching tv until 2 or 3am and falling asleep on the couch. That’s ok for my fiancee’ Stacey as she claims I snore so loud she is one night going to kill me in my sleep. She goes to bed first and gets to sleep for a few hours before I come in and unleash all Hell upon her with my sounds of sleep ecstasy. I really don’t believe her, as how come I never hear it? I think she is hallucinating. If she reads this post I think she will put a pillow over my snoring face and send me to sleep with the fishes.
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In NYC Big Brother is watching you – and helping you pee!

big-brother-animatedI don’t normally write about politics. In fact, I can’t stand politics, but it is a fact of life and it creeps into our everday lives like a hemorrhoid that just won’t go away. Like death and taxes government just seems to be something that is a guarantee in our lives. I recently viewed a television report that covered the proposed ban on smoking in cars because having a cigarette while driving might help cause cars accidents. Really? What’s next? No radio playing in cars because it takes away from driver concentration? How about no speaking while driving too so the driver can focus on the road? It really is getting out of hand, and seems that politicians have nothing better to do than come up with stupid law proposals just so it will look like they are actually doing something to earn the positions we voted them in for. If we as a people don’t put a stop to this there will be an abundance of crazy rules and regulations that will be enforced on us. Hey, just look over at our Mayoro Bloombito here in NYC as he has come up with some doozies over the years. Before we know it, Big Brother Government will be taking part in the most mundane aspects of our lives!

I can envision the following ridiculous proposals our politicians will come up with.

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Don’t Be A Turd Burglar!

854566-toilet-cubicleIt’s Monday morning and I already have started the day out with a “what the eff moment”.  You all know how it is when you drag yourself out of bed, into the shower, and arrive at work with that first cup of hot coffee. You slowly wake up from the grogginess that drapes your brain. You get your desk situated and set up a plan of attack for the day, and for what comes before you over the afternoon. Your body as it awakens let’s you know that it needs to hit the bathroom to start your day off right. If any of you are like me sometimes all it takes is one cup of morning coffee and “whammo”! Time to poop! Ah, there is nothing like a good morning constitutional to start the day off right. Everything is moving along swimmingly until some idiot “Turd Burglar” comes along and messes up your whole routine.

I think it’s time for a bit of ranting when it comes to toilet etiquette. Now, I can’t speak about the women’s room situation so if any of the fairer sex want to pipe in just do so and let ‘er rip!

Please don’t stop me to chat when you see I am about to enter the men’s room. Especially if I have something to read with me. Doubly so if you see me running to the can!

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