Tag Archives: freezing

It was shrinkage, Jerry! Shrinkage! It was cold outside!

Holy crap, what the heck am I doing out here in 26 degree weather? I think I’ve made a huge mistake!

My slightly warped mind always seems to head back to that episode of Seinfeld. Whenever I am subjected to some pretty brutal weather conditions which makes my nether regions retreat up into my body like a turtle hiding in it’s shell. When it’s that cold outside in NYC, “shrinkage” is the appropriate reasoning for any gent trying to defend the rationale of “diminished manhood”!

I was shrinkage, Jerry! SHRINKAGE!!! Continue reading It was shrinkage, Jerry! Shrinkage! It was cold outside!

Gonna freeze my nuts off for charity! Cupid’s Undie Run!

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Holy crap what is going on with this weather in NYC? I’m gonna freeze my nuts off tomorrow running outside in the Cupid’s Undie Run! It’s for a great cause so kids with Neurofibromatosis (NF), also known as children’s tumors, can grow up happy and healthy. Worth a bit of shrinkage and hard perky nipples wouldn’t you agree?

Yeah, I’m basically gonna be freezing my man-buns off as I strip down to my underpants to be a part of the Cupid’s Undie Run in the cold on February 13th in NYC along with many others contributing to this children’s cause. So here I am getting talked into doing this after running Warrior Dashes and Tough Mudders. In my undies. In the dead of Winter. At least there will be no obstacles this time. Just some extremely cold air that has invaded the NYC area which would make a polar bear pack up and move to Florida. I think I can handle that. Just have to get through a 1.5 mile run and hit the bar with all my fellow runners and teammates afterwards. Hot toddies please! (I might pour one down my underwear after this run!)

This is the last chance to donate to such a worthwhile cause, and it’s for the kids! Any amount is so appreciated. Link to my charity page –

http://my.cupids.org/PhilipHoltberg

Look, all the talk about shrinkage is real. I need to keep my junk warm so I will have some layers and stuffing going on down there. No one wants a frostbitten hotdog and coconuts! Ouch! Continue reading Gonna freeze my nuts off for charity! Cupid’s Undie Run!

Hey, look, more snow on the way! Yay! Now go kill yourself.

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Well, here we are on February 16th here in NYC and it’s 24 degrees this morning. Sure, it is only February which is winter you know. Hey, I’m not complaining since at least it’s not snowing. I don’t mind the cold air and it is sunny outside. I think all of us in this part of the country are just getting sick of seeing snow. So far NYC has seen double the normal amount of the white stuff. Yeah, there are those who love snow, and think it’s all beautiful, picturesque, blah, blah, blah. Then there are those who live for the winter sports season and brag about all the great skiing and snowboarding they have been enjoying. Please, go away and shut the eff up. Those of us who would rather be on a beach with a cold drink or on a jet ski don’t want to hear it. The snow is not pretty anymore. It’s all dirty and grimy looking and a slushy mess here in the city. It’s not fun to play in anymore as the novelty has worn off. I want to walk around without my shoes turning into filth, and the bottoms of my pants looking like I just stepped into a small pond. Oh, and don’t forget those unmaneuverable lakes that show up on every street corner that are impossible to get around unless you have rain boots on, or are one of those freakishly tall NBA players and can walk over them. Plus, I have slipped and landed on my ass twice already. Yup, Spring can’t get here soon enough!

Ok, I get it. I do realize that it is still winter. It’s supposed to be cold and snowy. Yet, this one feels like a bad joke. Here are some pics I found on the net that pretty much sum up our feelings of this winter so far. Nothing like enjoying a lazy Sunday morning with a hot cup of coffee and blogging naked in a warm apartment……. Continue reading Hey, look, more snow on the way! Yay! Now go kill yourself.