Am I the only one that loathes the bombardment of Christmas commercials and decorations that we are subjected to these weeks before Thanksgiving? It’s already been one of those weeks here in NYC and I feel as if I’m being abused by the Elf on the Shelf. Now let’s be real here for a moment. That damn thing is creepy. No way do I want a psychopath elf in my house. I don’t know why this strange tradition was started anyway. It’s supposed to be moved to a different spot each night or something. Yeah, let’s traumatize our kids. No, let’s terrorize me because if that little bastard shows up in a different spot other than where I left him I’m burning down the damn house! I freak out a bit when I can’t find my keys and swear something moved them. Anyone remember that evil little Zuni fetish doll in the movie Trilogy of Terror? Yeah THAT evil effing thing that chased Karen Black around and attacked her. I just know that damn elf is the reincarnation of that crazy little shit. Waiting. Plotting. He’s as bad as a creepy clown.
Almost. Clowns suck too. And dolls. They also suck. Nope. Nope. Noppity Nope. Continue reading Buffalo Snow, Elf on a Shelf, Cocaine – All kinds of crazy stuff!
Has it really been two years since I started posting my ridiculous thoughts, observations, gluttony, and depravity on this blog The Regular Guy NYC? Looking back over my scribble it just so happens that October is my two year anniversary of this madness that I have been vomiting out all over this blog. Where did the time go? In the words of the legendary anchorman Ron Burgundy – “Well, that escalated quickly”. I don’t know about you all but sometimes I can’t even believe the stuff that gets splattered all over this blog, and for some reason you all keep reading it. It’s like a pain and pleasure thing. It hurts so good, but you keep coming back for more. Like a car wreck that you can’t turn away from. I keep posting and you can’t seem to stop staring at my insides cooking like road pizza on the hot asphalt. What can I say? Many of you are just as demented, vile, raunchy, and sick as I am. I dig crazy, and really appreciate all of the support, comments, and feedback I have received and continue to receive here, even if it borders on stalking. By the way, does this rag smell like chloroform? Come, step into my unmarked white van of blogging! Continue reading Projectile blog vomiting all over NYC for two years now!
I’m a people watcher. I just can’t help myself. When you live in a city populated with around 19,000,000 people there are just so many things they can do that can go hysterically wrong on a daily basis. Hey, I’m not perfect and can be a klutz at times myself. Yet, being the New Yorker that I am, there are moments when I can’t help but snicker at these hapless victims. It is just so evilly delicious when you come upon moments like these that leave an indelible image in your brain for the day. Yeah, I know it’s kind of mean, but I am wired to be a bit warped that way!
Some of my viewing guilty pleasures –
1) Guys in suits picking up piles of dog crap with their hand in a plastic bag. I even snicker more when it’s a hot sticky summer day out!
2) Women who’s ankles look like they are snapping in half because they are walking in super high heels and don’t really know how to walk in them. Snap, crackle, pop!
Continue reading Evilly delicious laughs in NYC