So, I went to meet my gal at Penn Station the other night after she went out to spend the day with relatives and the first thing she says when she sees me?
“Someone took a huge dump on the train platform! Not just one, but three giant piles of turds!” I laughed, and suggested that maybe it was someone’s dog that pooped there. “Hell no!” she stated. “That was human dukies. No way was that some Pomeranian poop! She was obviously disgusted. Perhaps a bit mortified.
Of course, being the jaded New Yorker that I am I wanted to go down and take pictures of this monster pile of human excrement, but the look she gave me with the side-eye suggested otherwise if I knew what was good for me. Heck, I have enough food porn pics on my cell phone, so why not just add this to my collection? Salad pic. Soup pic. Salmon pic. Dessert pic. Giant turd pic. Fits right in! Continue reading Is That a Human Turd? The Mysteries of NYC Living.
It’s inevitable. You are out and about in NYC. Shopping, sightseeing, at a restaurant, relaxing in Central Park, stuck waiting on a subway platform, having drinks in a bar, or just walking around the city streets. It comes on all of a sudden. That feeling from deep inside. You feel the pressure building. Your body informs you that it is time whether you like it or not. Doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing. Your body betrays you. You try to pretend it’s not there. This is not happening. Not – Right – Now! You panic as you realize there is no place close by to go. You need instant relief. You start to get all flushed as the sweat perspires on your body. You shake and shimmy to hold it in. There is no recourse. No time to wait. The #2 is gonna happen whether you are ready or not.
Time to drop off the kids at the pool! Time to lay some cable! Time to pinch a loaf!
IT’S TIME TO TAKE A DUMP IN NYC!
Continue reading When ya just gotta do the #2 in NYC!