Really, wasn’t it Halloween just less than a week ago? I literally still have the taste of this holiday in my mouth as there are plastic buckets full of candy and chocolates strewn about the office I work in and I just can’t keep my hands out of them. Chocolate drool down my chin. This time of year really tests my resolve which is disappearing as the days go on. First Halloween, then Thanksgiving, which then leads to Christmas and New Years. There are only 47 days until Christmas! Only 7 weeks. Just 7 weekends to get all that horrendous shopping done. Hold on now, let’s backtrack a bit. Halloween just ended. What gets me all riled up is that we are already getting bombarded with holiday commercials and Christmas merchandise in the stores. What the eff??? Really, can we just enjoy each holiday first before having the next one shoved down our throats and ripped through our buttholes? Why am I seeing ads for toys and gifts at the major retailers on October 28th? Why does my local Duane Reade already have boxes of Christmas wrap in the windows on November 5th? This lunacy needs to end right now! What’s next? July 4th sales the day after New Years? How about Christmas ads for 2015 the day after Easter? Makes me want to go all Bigfoot on these places and start throwing poop everywhere. Continue reading Really? Christmas, the Flu, NYC Road Rage. What is going on?
Ever have one of those days when you just miss the subway? Get caught at every red light? Miss the lottery jackpot by one number? How about people just infuriating you on a daily basis? Heck, even something as simple as riding the elevator can ruin your day. Here are a few of my personal pet peeves of elevator enragement!
–The guys that won’t stop talking business, or the ladies that won’t shut up with all the gossip, plus they won’t lower their voices.
Really? Can it wait a minute or two until you get out of the small coffin box we are all stuffed in? I really don’t care about your call reports or coworker problems or what idiots your kids are dating. Can I just have some peace for a minute before hitting the office?
– People that crowd into the elevator and get in your personal space.
What is it with people that feel the need to get all up in my grill when I am standing at the back of the elevator? Can you step forward just a bit? Sometimes I make out I am sick and start fake coughing and sneezing on them. Ha! That usually works. Continue reading Elevator Enragement!
Yup, it’s that time of year when seemingly everyone around us has some sort of flu bug, virus, or cold. It’s the season of sickness and despair. We see multiple reports from healthcare organizations telling us (again) that this year will be the worst flu strain on record. We must go out and get flu shots! Don’t go to work! Stay home! Don’t venture out in public if sick! Sneeze and cough into your arm! Don’t touch your eyes, mouth, or nose! Don’t shake hands! Use hand sanitizer! Wash your hands! Don’t have sex!
(Well, that last one I am drawing the line. Unless I’m sick, or she is, and vomiting. Gotta have limits.)
Seems like overkill. Yet, the funny thing is, I agree with a lot of this. I just wish the selfish disease and plague-ridden public would also adhere to these warnings and stay home! Continue reading You sick bro? How this New Yorker reacts to the flu.