I swear, there is nothing more infuriating to a New Yorker than being held captive by a mass transit system constantly on the verge of major collapse.
We here in the NYC area, millions of us, rely on the MTA subway system to get us back and forth to our places of employment every day, week, and month. In a timely manner. LOL – yeah, and I’m gonna be the next big Hollywood action star! Get to da choppa!
Yet, here I was, along with my sweat stained brethren and sisters once again left jam-packed on a subway platform to nowhere. Oh, this one was a doozy. Totally unforeseen as we descended to the underground platforms that had become as hot as Beelzebub’s anal cavity since we were just coming off a 90 degree weekend. Dammit, it’s Autumn! It’s not supposed to be this hot out. Yet, here we all were, a sweaty mass of humanity aligned shoulder to shoulder resembling fish in sardine can. ( and some people smelling like one – c’mon people use deodorant! ) Waiting. Waiting. More waiting.
Help? Continue reading Monday Funday – Greetings From the MTA!
Why is it that these things always seem to happen to me?
Just recently on the way to work I jumped into a crowded subway car, and of course as is my normal luck, be trapped in an uncomfortable situation. No, not the kind where someone is grinding up against you and getting their jollies. That happens so often here in NYC during rush hour it’s almost part of the daily commute. No, this was actually worse. The guy standing right next to me, almost in my lap actually, smelled like festering day old bologna. No joke. It’s almost as if he had a salami sandwich stuffed into his underwear. Oh yeah, the AC was also not really working in this car.
Then, the worst thing you can hear during a moment like this. “Due to a signal malfunction we are being held here until we get the ok to proceed”. Oh hell no. Stuck between stations for who knows how long, and with no windows open to let out the stench of rotting deli meat. This subway car was so packed no one could move. Even worse was I think the guy behind me was really grinding against my ass. All I kept thinking was that I was going to walk into work smelling like this bologna guy and my coworkers would want to fumigate the office.
So here I am wedged between a roll of human liverwurst and a giant Chihuahua dry humping my leg. Could this day get any worse? You bet it can! Continue reading Days like this make you wish you had stayed in bed!
I made a mortal mistake yesterday. It’s one of those things that every New Yorker is aware of, and only non-knowing amateurs stumble into. Being a seasoned NYC inhabitant I just don’t know what came over me. Maybe it was a moment of blissful ignorance as I was heading home from work with my earbuds in and rocking out to my favorite tunes. Perhaps I just had a brain fart and didn’t realize until it was too late. I did the one thing we all know never to do.
I walked into an empty subway car on the way home from work yesterday.
I should have immediately recognized the tell-tale warning signs. Rush hour crowds on the platform. The crowded subway cars rolling by as the train pulled in. The two adjoined cars before and after it filled with commuters. Whatever made me enter that empty subway car is beyond me, but I did stupidly do it in a blindly bad moment of decision-making. What’s worse is that I did not even realize what I had done before it was too late and the doors closed right behind me. I was oblivious to those entering and running out as if they were getting attacked by a swarm of hornets. As soon as that disgustingly pungent stomach turning aroma hit me I knew I was in a heap of trouble. Yet, escape was not an option. It was too late. Continue reading The Danger of Entering an Empty NYC Subway Car!
Traveling out of NYC for business or vacation is always an adventure. Sometimes an adventure in futility! Now, I am one of those easygoing travelers. Nothing bothers me too much whether traveling by air, rail, or car. We all know that things do happen to affect our travel schedules and best laid plans. Bad weather is inevitable. Flight delays will ruin your morning. Traffic jams will cause road rage. Ever want to tear the steering wheel out of your car and beat someone senseless with it? Even I get to my boiling point at times. I just have to keep reminding myself that it’s all about getting to my destination, and that the trip itself is a necessary evil, or impediment to getting there depending on your point of view. I am penning this post on my flight right now which actually took off right on time. A miracle! Continue reading Traveling out of NYC – futility and madness!