Tag Archives: commercials

Fall season is finally here and the rantings continue!

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It’s been a while since I let out my frustrations. So many things that make me want to scream out loud and bang my head against the wall lately. Sometimes, these same irritants come around seasonally, and others come out of left field like a pigeon taking a dump on my head. Let’s start with the most obvious one. And away we go!

1) Pumpkin everything – Really, what the heck? How can such a little used member of the squash family make everyone become so crazed once Labor Day hits? It’s like the population becomes hypnotized and metamorphosizes into zombies craving brains, um, pumpkin flavored everything. Sure, I love me some pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving, but enough is enough. Let’s be real here – most of these over-flavored pumpkin foods and drinks taste like crap anyway. Either way too sweet or just bland.

2) The hot weather – I am so sick of the warm humid swamp ass weather. I am so ready for the cool, crisp, dry and comfortable Fall season. Can Summer please just go away already. I’m done with you. Bye Felicia! Continue reading Fall season is finally here and the rantings continue!

Buffalo Snow, Elf on a Shelf, Cocaine – All kinds of crazy stuff!

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Am I the only one that loathes the bombardment of Christmas commercials and decorations that we are subjected to these weeks before Thanksgiving? It’s already been one of those weeks here in NYC and I feel as if I’m being abused by the Elf on the Shelf. Now let’s be real here for a moment. That damn thing is creepy. No way do I want a psychopath elf in my house. I don’t know why this strange tradition was started anyway. It’s supposed to be moved to a different spot each night or something. Yeah, let’s traumatize our kids. No, let’s terrorize me because if that little bastard shows up in a different spot other than where I left him I’m burning down the damn house! I freak out a bit when I can’t find my keys and swear something moved them. Anyone remember that evil little Zuni fetish doll in the movie Trilogy of Terror? Yeah THAT evil effing thing that chased Karen Black around and attacked her. I just know that damn elf is the reincarnation of that crazy little shit. Waiting. Plotting. He’s as bad as a creepy clown.

Almost. Clowns suck too. And dolls. They also suck. Nope. Nope. Noppity Nope. Continue reading Buffalo Snow, Elf on a Shelf, Cocaine – All kinds of crazy stuff!

Really? Christmas, the Flu, NYC Road Rage. What is going on?

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Really, wasn’t it Halloween just less than a week ago? I literally still have the taste of this holiday in my mouth as there are plastic buckets full of candy and chocolates strewn about the office I work in and I just can’t keep my hands out of them. Chocolate drool down my chin. This time of year really tests my resolve which is disappearing as the days go on. First Halloween, then Thanksgiving, which then leads to Christmas and New Years. There are only 47 days until Christmas! Only 7 weeks. Just 7 weekends to get all that horrendous shopping done. Hold on now, let’s backtrack a bit. Halloween just ended. What gets me all riled up is that we are already getting bombarded with holiday commercials and Christmas merchandise in the stores. What the eff??? Really, can we just enjoy each holiday first before having the next one shoved down our throats and ripped through our buttholes? Why am I seeing ads for toys and gifts at the major retailers on October 28th? Why does my local Duane Reade already have boxes of Christmas wrap in the windows on November 5th? This lunacy needs to end right now! What’s next? July 4th sales the day after New Years? How about Christmas ads for 2015 the day after Easter? Makes me want to go all Bigfoot on these places and start throwing poop everywhere. Continue reading Really? Christmas, the Flu, NYC Road Rage. What is going on?

Do they really think we are that stupid? Really?

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Sometimes I really feel that companies who advertise think the American public are mindless stupid sheep. Do they really think we are that dumb? I’m one of those guys that has been around the block a few times, and have even become possibly a bit jaded living all these years in NYC. It takes a lot to pull the wool over this dude’s eyes. I can smell a scam a mile away. I don’t get fooled too easily or caught up in hype. Lately, I have seen and experienced things that make me laugh at the gall some businesses have. It has gotten to the point of exasperation with the ridiculousness of it all. I think it’s time for a ranting and raving session!

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I saw probably the bazillionth car commercial last night that touts its “highway mileage”. Has anyone noticed over the last few years that car companies refuse to talk about the “city mileage” anymore in any of their commercials? We all know that cars get better gas mileage while driving longer distances on a highway, but most people use their cars for local driving. The automobile companies think they can fool us with the better highway number while ignoring that fact of the lower city mileage totally. I don’t know why it irks me considering I don’t own a car but it does. Continue reading Do they really think we are that stupid? Really?