I will be running in my undies this coming February so kids with neurofibromatosis (NF), also known as children’s tumors, can grow up happy and healthy.
Yeah, I’m basically gonna be freezing my butt off as I strip down to my underpants to be a part of theCupid’s Undie Run in the cold on February 13th in NYC along with many others contributing to this great cause. So here I am getting talked into doing this after running Warrior Dashes and Tough Mudders. In my undies. In the dead of Winter. At least there will be no obstacles this time. Just maybe some snow and arctic temps. I think I can handle that. Just have to get through a 1.5 mile run and hit the bar with all my fellow runners and teammates afterwards. Hot toddies please!
Hey, what about shrinkage? Has anyone thought about that? I better stuff a few extra socks in there. To keep my junk warm of course. Not that I really need it. 🙂
Well, here we go again. Off on a biz trip and jet-setting to wonderfully fabulous glitzy Las Vegas! Yeah, I wish. I’m actually sitting on a crowded flight on my way to steamy hot humid Florida to attend a convention and then spend a few days with the parental units. Accompanying us on this plane is the demon child from Hades. I need a stiff drink already.
You know, Florida, the clown car of a state that if the Jerry Springer show had invented it would be a perfect setting for the next Sharnado movie. Heck, I like the cheesy Sharknado movies. The next one should be based in Disney World, and have flying sharks and zombies attacking and eating the tourists. B-list guest stars like Shaq, Snoop Dog, the Olsen Twins, the crew of The Love Boat, and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills all get devoured or help save the day. Even a drunken John Stamos shows up in a cameo to get pulled over with another DUI, and gets swallowed whole by a Great White as he is doing the drunk “walk the line” test. Yet, I kid Florida. I kid. Hey, if not for Florida and Vegas the show COPS would have never existed. That there’s quality programming folks. Continue reading Up in the air at 30,000 feet with a demon child!→
Did she just really ask me to watch her spawn from Hell? Now, I am a responsible kind of fellow, and maybe I have that composure of which people seem to trust me for some reason. Yet, here I am baffled as to why someone would entrust a complete stranger with their DNA which plopped out from between their legs in a moment of excruciating agony. Hey, that was your choice lady, not mine. I am childfree by choice, and live a totally fulfilling life, thank you very much. The last thing I want to do is watch your crying, screaming, annoying child while you head to the bathroom to take a dump. Now don’t get me wrong, as I don’t hate childen, no really, but I am just not parent material. People constantly tell me and my gal that I look like I’d make a great dad. Bwahahahahaha! Yeah, this guy who still likes to go out drinking too much, partying too hard, and lives life on a whim. Sorry, I just don’t want to be trapped and looking miserable as I see so many parents here in NYC are. You know the type. They are pushing an oversized baby carriage, or carrying around their kid in a sack on their chest like an albatross around their necks. That forlorn look of despair in their eyes with a silent cry for help as they desperately seek an escape from the eternal situation they got themselves into. As I view these people I can only wonder if they rue the day they discarded their freedom in a moment of breeding frenzy. All it takes is a minute of ejactulatory bliss in exchange for twenty years of a parental jail sentence. Awww heck no. Sorry, it’s just not for me. Continue reading Hey NYC parents – your spawn are not my problem!→
The training has begun. The eating right has started. The blood, sweat, and tears will be immeasurable. The weight lifting will be intense. The running, and I HATE running, will be a labor of love. I will not fail. I will attack this goal like none other. I will not let myself, or anyone down. I will persist and achieve my goal as a St Jude Warrior!
The Warrior Dash is basically a 5K mud run / spartan run through all kinds of obstacles. Jumping over fire, climbing over walls, swimming through mud bogs, maneuvering through embankments, climbing over cargo nets, crawling under barbed wire, and assorted other craziness. Check out the link to view them. It’s an all day event with waves of people participating throughout the day. Why might you ask am I going to subject my body to this mayhem? Well, I am a bit daft to begin with and love competing, even though it’s been a few years since I have participated in any competitions. I just saw this as a fun thing to try out. To get my body back in shape after a few months gym layoff. Then I also saw the wonderful charity partnered with it and knew I just had to go all out. Come Get Some! Continue reading Warrior Dash – Blood, Sweat, and Tears Aug 3rd in NJ! I’m in for a great cause. Come Get Some!→