Tag Archives: balls

Moist Balls! I don’t think anybody saw that coming!

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Well, the past few months have been quite a change for me. I don’t think many people saw that coming. Not even myself!

Who the heck would have thought that I would make a major life change such as abstaining from red meats, chicken, pork, and most booze. All the things that give me the warm fuzzies. Well, as for the booze let’s just say I cut back significantly, but ain’t no way I’m giving up a tasty cold brew now and then. Especially with warm swampass weather already hitting NYC.

Oh yeah, what the heck is Mother Nature doing? Not only do we get her bi-polar ass messing with the whole Winter, then screwing up our Spring when it seemed like the ice age was making a comeback, but now she is subjecting us to premature SWAMPASS heat! Sorry, but it’s not supposed to be close to 90 degrees in May! Well, there goes my electric bill. The air conditioning in our apartment has been working overtime already. I like to sleep in comfortable sub-arctic conditions. If I can see my breath in the air while laying in bed I’m a happy boy! Just throw on a comforter and a blanket and wrap yourself in. Boom. Like one giant pink naked “pig in a blanket”. (Damn, I miss eating those.)

No one wants to have moist balls. MOIST BALLS. Yes, MOIST. Yeah, I said it. That WORD. (I know how so many people hate that word.) Good, now you all have the image of my balls being moist in your mind. You’re welcome. Moist. Continue reading Moist Balls! I don’t think anybody saw that coming!

Labor Day, disgusting sights, celebrities, and NYC life.

 

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Happy Labor Day everyone!

Hope you all are taking it slow and enjoying a day off from work. If your company is open today and they are forcing you to slave away for “the man” then I must say I feel sorry for you. Those companies are un-American! Close the damn biz for a day and let everyone enjoy a holiday of debauchery and reckless abandon. Or, just so many can actually get some sleep and be a lazy sloth for the day. It’s all good either way. This is Amurrica! Slap some hotdogs and burgers on the grill. Devour those carcinogens! Hit the beach in wildly inappropriate bathing suits that show off those jelly rolls. Skin cancer be damned! Drink until you puke. After holiday hangovers are special! Go see Guardians of the Galaxy again. After all, DC comics can’t seem to come out with a movie lately and Marvel is kicking their ass! Bring your kids to the mall to let them run wild like obnoxious brats and annoy the crap out of everyone else while you shop in blissful ignorance. Well, actually, we hate these parents. What I’m trying to say is go out and enjoy the day off if you can, as Labor Day is meant to be a day of relaxation from the daily grind of the rat race we live in. Continue reading Labor Day, disgusting sights, celebrities, and NYC life.