Tag Archives: airplane

Ranting away at 30,000 feet in the air. Heat, farts, and biz travel.

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Escaping NYC for a few days and heading to Las Vegas for a biz trip. Normally, that would be all fine and dandy except for the fact that it’s a raging inferno of heat there this week! Temps soaring close to 110 degrees each day makes for extreme swamp ass!

Dry air my ass! Hot is hot!

Business travel is always a hassle, but a necessary evil for many of us. Especially those of us in the ad sales game. There are always numerous clients to visit, conventions to attend, and other various business functions in different places. I used to actually enjoy flying, as I still like to visit different cities across the USA and see the sights when I have the time. It used to be a lot of fun. Yet, nowadays air travel makes me want to strangle people! I think many of us feel that way. At least now we have the option to stay connected up in the air. I am using the plane’s WiFi and typing this all in real-time as it’s happening. Continue reading Ranting away at 30,000 feet in the air. Heat, farts, and biz travel.

Up in the air at 30,000 feet with a demon child!

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Well, here we go again. Off on a biz trip and jet-setting to wonderfully fabulous glitzy Las Vegas! Yeah, I wish. I’m actually sitting on a crowded flight on my way to steamy hot humid Florida to attend a convention and then spend a few days with the parental units. Accompanying us on this plane is the demon child from Hades. I need a stiff drink already.

You know, Florida, the clown car of a state that if the Jerry Springer show had invented it would be a perfect setting for the next Sharnado movie. Heck, I like the cheesy Sharknado movies. The next one should be based in Disney World, and have flying sharks and zombies attacking and eating the tourists. B-list guest stars like Shaq, Snoop Dog, the Olsen Twins, the crew of The Love Boat, and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills all get devoured or help save the day. Even a drunken John Stamos shows up in a cameo to get pulled over with another DUI, and gets swallowed whole by a Great White as he is doing the drunk “walk the line” test. Yet, I kid Florida. I kid. Hey, if not for Florida and Vegas the show COPS would have never existed. That there’s quality programming folks. Continue reading Up in the air at 30,000 feet with a demon child!

Fleet Week, Letterman, NYC News, and $30 hot dogs.

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Sometimes you read and come across some strange things during the course of the week.

I just read a news article about a hot dog vendor here in NYC that is selling those dirty water dogs along with hot pretzels for $30. Yes – thirty freaking dollars! Are you kidding me? Now, I can see paying maybe $2 for one of those belly bombers but this insane. Obviously, he is feasting upon visitors from overseas that know no better, and even though I’m not a huge fan of most annoying tourists, along with the bridge and tunnel suburbanite crowd that piles into the city on the weekends, even I would put a stop to this jerk if I saw him trying to rip off someone like this. Heck, even I have a bit of ethics in me believe it or not. Maybe sell it for $10…….

Another thing I read today was the story of how a girl’s sweet 16 party was bombarded by flying poop out of the sky! The family and friends were having a get together for her big birthday when feces just came out of the heavens and rained down upon them. They are assuming it was from a plane that had passed and somehow unloaded it’s crapper. Now, my mom and older relatives would always say it’s good luck when a bird poops on you, but I wonder if that would also hold true if big ‘ol Billy Bob dumped his bowels on your head from way up high? Continue reading Fleet Week, Letterman, NYC News, and $30 hot dogs.

Snow, Selfies, Fires, Sniffing Glue – Another Week in NYC!

 

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As I am sitting here in my favorite coffee shop on the Upper East Side on this cold and blustery NYC morning I’m looking out the window and pondering the sweet mysteries of life. Most notably right now I’m watching the wind blow around the snow flurries that are coming down. Snow! God damn snow! It’s supposed to be Spring dammit! Go away Winter, enough already. I’ll be the first to admit I do like the colder dry air of the winter season but this is getting on my last nerve. All I ask for now is a few days of sunny weather in the 50’s at this point. Is that asking too much? Oh great, now it’s really coming down. It looks like we’re inside a giant snow globe. It’s 33 and snowing out yet there are some idiots walking by wearing shorts. People here are getting so pissed off at the weather they are rebelling. That’s all cool as I’m kind of like that too, but I’m not dumb enough to go out and catch pneumonia. As they saying goes, I might be dumb but I ain’t stupid! Continue reading Snow, Selfies, Fires, Sniffing Glue – Another Week in NYC!