Tag Archives: air conditioning

Moist Balls! I don’t think anybody saw that coming!

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Well, the past few months have been quite a change for me. I don’t think many people saw that coming. Not even myself!

Who the heck would have thought that I would make a major life change such as abstaining from red meats, chicken, pork, and most booze. All the things that give me the warm fuzzies. Well, as for the booze let’s just say I cut back significantly, but ain’t no way I’m giving up a tasty cold brew now and then. Especially with warm swampass weather already hitting NYC.

Oh yeah, what the heck is Mother Nature doing? Not only do we get her bi-polar ass messing with the whole Winter, then screwing up our Spring when it seemed like the ice age was making a comeback, but now she is subjecting us to premature SWAMPASS heat! Sorry, but it’s not supposed to be close to 90 degrees in May! Well, there goes my electric bill. The air conditioning in our apartment has been working overtime already. I like to sleep in comfortable sub-arctic conditions. If I can see my breath in the air while laying in bed I’m a happy boy! Just throw on a comforter and a blanket and wrap yourself in. Boom. Like one giant pink naked “pig in a blanket”. (Damn, I miss eating those.)

No one wants to have moist balls. MOIST BALLS. Yes, MOIST. Yeah, I said it. That WORD. (I know how so many people hate that word.) Good, now you all have the image of my balls being moist in your mind. You’re welcome. Moist. Continue reading Moist Balls! I don’t think anybody saw that coming!

Riding Hell in a Handbasket all the way to NYC

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You ever go through a day and wonder where has all the time gone?

It’s become one of those days that even if I cloned myself there would still not be enough time to get everything done. I am sitting here taking a breather while wolfing down lunch just to type this while on another window trying to answer all my emails. It’s a repetitive vicious cycle that never seems to end. On one side I feel as if I’m all caught up and raring to go as if I’m pumped up on Viagra and Red Bull, and then on the other I’m all limp as a wet noodle running in quicksand and just can’t get invigorated enough to jump over the hump. My brain feels like a bowl of jello, and not one of the good flavors. More like that green lime monstrosity that no one really seems to like. Maybe I need a mental health day soon. A day to chill out with a few drinks and lay in the sun. I really don’t take enough days off. Maybe it’s just me but I feel that if I take a well deserved day off now and now everything will end up as “Hell in a Handbasket”. Then it’s more of a shit show to deal with when I get back. I need a day soon.

Even then, as I close my eyes and let that warm sun drench my face the bluebird of happiness would probably take a seagull sized dump on my head. Isn’t life swell? Continue reading Riding Hell in a Handbasket all the way to NYC

OK, it’s so hot in NYC we are melting! We are MELTING!

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Yes, it does feel a tad bit sweaty outside.

Summertime is supposed to be warm, we get that. I know that we can all expect muggy days here and there. Bright weekends at the park. Sun drenched days at the beach. The occasional hot and humid afternoons. Summer in NYC is usually filled with these types of days, but hot damn, this heat wave is hotter than Satan’s asshole! Another day of record heat in the 90’s that actually feels like it’s over 100 outside. Is this some kind of crazy joke that Mother Nature is pulling on us? I feel like I am actually melting if I stay outside for more than a few minutes! I can smell the soles of my sneakers burning!

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I actually read today on the Gothamist that NYC broke the all time power record usage. Good lord I hope that ConEd can keep up with the power demand during this heat wave. No way in Hell that anyone wants to deal with a power outage right now. Even the Pillsbury Doughboy would end up baking like a croissant on the sidewalk out here. I am ready too see people explode in spontaneous combustion.

Mmmm……croissants.

http://gothamist.com/2013/07/19/nyc_broke_all-time_peak_power_usage.php Continue reading OK, it’s so hot in NYC we are melting! We are MELTING!

A Dozen Annoying “Out Of Order” Things in NYC!

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After spending the last week and a half melting down in Orlando, Florida, for a business trip and then over in Ocala visiting family the last thing I wanted was to come back here to NYC and deal with even more heat. I mean, sure, there was a big difference coming from a place where it was 90 degrees and over each day, and humid, to relatively comfortable 75 degree dry temps here in the city last night. It was so nice I even hit up one of my favorite cafes to sit outside with a bite to eat and use the free wifi in the cool breeze. What I did not expect was to enter the gym later on to get in my training and be greeted with a sauna as the air conditioning was broken! Really? Are you freaking kidding  me? WTF!!!! ARGGGGGHHH!!!! Still, I sucked it up and did my workout. As far as life problems go this was way low on the pole. Maybe the extra sweating helped burn a few more calories.

It did get me thinking about a bunch of things that seem to get broken here in NYC that really piss me off at times. It’s just damn annoying. Also, why do things seem to be broken the one time you really need them? Here’s a Top Dozen list that seems to come to mind right at this moment. Hey, the list can always be changed to reflect each day’s broken annoyance. Continue reading A Dozen Annoying “Out Of Order” Things in NYC!