Summertime tonsil hockey, PDA’s, and love lines in NYC!

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Sometimes you stumble into a situation that you immediately regret. You see things that cannot be unseen. Things that can turn your stomach. I don’t know what it is lately here in NYC but I have a knack for walking into people going at it in a revolting display of public affection. You know the type. The couple that disgustingly can’t keep their hands off each other and feels the need to show off to the world their love. Case in point the other afternoon when I decided to have my lunch in the park. We have had some beautiful summer weather and having lunch on a park bench seemed like a good idea. Sunglasses on, chicken wrap in my hand, a cold iced tea, and the warm sun on my face as I leaned back to relish in the moment. A moment that was suddenly ruined by the sounds of wet slurping noises. At first I thought it was a panting dog sitting next to me until I looked over and saw this couple in the full throes of tonsil hockey! I mean, they were going at it relentlessly. I really think he was going in so deep that he was trying to dig out her fillings with his tongue. I’m surprised he did not pass out from lack of oxygen since it looked like she was devouring his whole face with an air lock. The absolute horror of what I was witnessing transpired fully when I realized these were not young kids but a couple that were old enough to be my parents!!!

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! MY EYES!!!!!!

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Why, oh, why do these things always seem to happen to me? I thimk I’m a weirdo magnet. People end up doing strange things in my presence. The PDA thing can be a bit much at times. Usually it’s the younger couples that do it with uncaring abandon, as they don’t care who sees them or who is close by. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter where they are. Tonight after finishing up my workout I headed down my street to the diner to pick up something for dinner. As I approached the last few buildings on my block I noticed this couple making out. No big deal, right? Except the fact that they were going at it on the garbage cans. Yuck! Have you ever seen what gets spilled on those cans? Literally, she was sitting on a dumpster with her legs wrapped around this dude while he was mauling her. I just looked down and pretended to ignore them as I proceeded on my way. About 20 minutes later as I headed home with food in tow they were still there sucking face in the garbage. WTF??? She even had keys in her hand so I assume she lived in the building there. I guess going into the apartment and continuing on a clean couch or comfy bed was not as romantically enticing as being spread out over raw smelly sewage?

Ah, the odor of young love!

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Now here I am sitting on the couch watching some boob tube while penning my thoughts into my blog and what do I see over and over? Late night commercials for those “love lines”. You have seen them all. The ones where the seductive young girls lay across the screen and proclaim there are hot sexy singles all waiting by their phones to talk with you. At all hours of the night. Just waiting for your call. Yeah right. Like all these desireable attractive 20 something’s have nothing better to do with their evenings than to waste their time and have intimate conversations with every creeper that calls. No way do these paid spokesmodels actually look like those that are probably on the other end of the line.

Most often this is who you are having sexy chat with – ENJOY!

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52 thoughts on “Summertime tonsil hockey, PDA’s, and love lines in NYC!”

  1. Well I really didn’t need to see that last photo. And making out in the garbage disposal area? Seriously? Nobody is that hot. Nobody.

    Thanks for sharing – I think. I hope you didn’t lose your lunch over the aging couple in the park. I probably would have, at the very least, lost my appetite.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    1. Hey Patricia!

      Oh come now, what’s a little roll in raw sewage with the person you’re hot for?

      I’m still trying to remove that image from my mind. The agony.

  2. Nothing like some overboard PDA to make you want to get that food to go…unless it’s two hot women..that might be worth dining in for… lol

  3. Oh man! I recently wrote a post about kissing and horrible kisses from years past. Ew, ew, ew. And that older couple in the park, seriously? I’m all for love and all but really? You poor thing. 🙂

  4. GARBAGE CANS?!?! Folks as old as your parents playing tonsil hockey? Oh the images…you poor thing. I don’t mind see a couple kiss, hold hands, or have arms around each other but anything longer than a goodbye/hello kiss is too much for my eyes. Especially if it sounds like a dog! Eeewwww!

  5. Nothing beats a good make-out sesh in public, especially when he makes it to second base. I’m not even slightly serious. I don’t really care to see it, but sometimes it’s nice to see young love. Actually, sometimes I miss that young love abandon and just going at it when the mood hit. I’m married, so I don’t make-out at all in public or not. We do our thing quickly so that he can watch CNN while I don the eye mask and ear plugs and drift into my dream land where I fully make-out with Adrian Grenier and Jamie Fraser wherever they’ll have me.

    1. Hey Mandi!

      Ah, young dumb love. The type that doesn’t care about public creepy tongue sucking sessions for all to see.

      Also, even though you’re married you still need to get your freak on. I suggest doing it at the local Costco in the automotive section. Those tires can leave marks though.

  6. Ah Phil, you keep delivering, great stories with hilarious pictures and captions.

    I know some people are turned on by public displays of affection but there has to be a limit to which it becomes indecent behaviour.

  7. Yuck!! Those pics I could have done without 🙂 I hate when people are all over each other in public. My husband and I have been married 11 years, I don’t feel the need to make out in public. Get a room people!! Thanks for the laugh on a Friday night 🙂

  8. I want to write something thoughtful… But yes. Too much pda is too much. Especially during the day. I guess that’s the Summer Love vibe at work. I’m an affectionate person, but most of it is a private show 😉 I wish the young ones practiced more of that! Good eye, Phil!

  9. You are absolutely correct in your assumption about the phone sex operators. When I was I’m my twenties, and looking for work, a friend told me she knew someone who did that and made good money.

    I figured that I was a big enough pervert to be able to handle that type of work for awhile, so my friend arranged a meeting for me with her acquaintance. I was shocked. She was a very rotund woman, not even slightly playing to the eyes with for young children running around her filthy apartment. She had a separate phone line for work that rang while I was there. She told me to follow her to the other room so I could listen in and see/hear firsthand what the job entailed.

    Talk about things that can’t be unseen! I’d take the face-sucking grandparents over that any day!

    1. Hey Jen!

      Thanks for dropping by and commenting!

      I just knew that to be the case! Now I had better stop calling all those love lines. I guess Mitzi doesn’t look like Scarlett Johansson as she told me.

  10. That shit needs to land on YouTube and be immortalized. I see it as you missed an opportunity to create a YouTube channel for this sort of thing and make millions. Justsayin…..

    1. Hey Deech!

      Thanks for dropping by and commenting!

      I know, right? Just another blown opportunity to make millions off of unsuspecting public douchebaggery.

  11. Why make out on top of the garbage when there are so many nice place to go in New York:)
    For a moment, I thought it was me being all prissy after too long time in Dubai (you know the rules down here, showing affection in public might send you to jail or out of the country), but seriously, tonsil-hockey in public is just gross, no matter where in the world you are…

    1. Hey Mitzie!

      Well, the dumpster is cheaper than a hotel room here.

      Then again, at least in America we do have the freedom to suck face in public without being deported! Even though some should be.

  12. LMBO! For once a post that doesn’t make me hungry! That last photo has got to be photoshopped. I don’t know. I am definitely one of those people who says, “Get a room” to anyone that is super affectionate in public.

  13. You wrote this post so well that I could almost myself right there. Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing! Haha.

    Hmmm, I don’t mind people kissing their partner quickly, but when there’s more saliva than during Pavlov’s experiments – that’s when I wanna puke.

    You’re totally right about those hotlines – young, single and ready to mingle – yeah right! Choose one of those because that’s all you’re getting!

    *Gets off soapbox*

    Hahaha. Loved your post! Keep them coming. (the posts themselves, not the sexy people in this post.)

    1. Hey Cassandra!

      Thanks for dropping by and commenting!

      Just come to NYC and walk around a bit. Especially at nights and weekends. I seem to stumple into wet sloppy ones at every turn. That, or public breakups!

  14. Well thank you very much. I come over from Susie’s expecting a great party and now I have to go bleach out my brain. Oh wait… I sent people to a blog about farts. Never mind! Great post.

  15. Hot fun in the city!!! Hilarious! I hope that girl on the garbage cans was wearing appropriate undergarments. EEEEuuuuuuwwwwww!!!
    Thanks for rolling by the party! I bought duct tape for you. Use it to keep those pants on!

    1. Hey Susie!

      Actually, I don’t think she had any undergarments on! Glad you got a laugh.

      Duct tape has so many uses. Depends on how drunk I get. 😉

  16. Sorry you had to witness all that nonsense….WTF is wrong with people?????? But on a positive note….that was a damn funny read – except that last picture…NOT so funny.

    1. Hey Julie!

      Yeah, I guess living in a city with 8 million people around me I get to see the good, bad, and fugly!

      Glad you got a laugh – until that last pic!

  17. Oh, dude! This story reminds me of this temp we had back in the day. Older guy in his late 50’s. Chain smoker. Gay. From Mass. All I can remember is his accent, the smokers breath, and him telling us how he’d gotten it on with some dude he’d met for about 5 minutes…”by the dumpstah!” Yeah…considering the smell of a mall dumpster, I threw up in my mouth a little. 😉

  18. Phil! Phil! You’re killing me with your stories of NY wierdos. I actually like the fact that an old couple can still be romantically involved. It’s sweet!

    Not so the dumpster kids. That’s just so disgusting! However, I live in Berlin. I’ve seen things, and my eyes still burn!!

    1. Hi Victoria!

      Yup – there are enough wierdos around here and those that want to spread their love for all of us to see whether we want to or not!

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