There seems to be something in the air. I have viewed this recurring scene what seems like over and over on the streets of NYC during the Spring season many times over the years I have lived here. Couples fighting. In public. One calling the other a few choice names. An exasperated look on their faces. Tears. Anguish. Anger. Usually, it ends with one walking away and leaving the other in the dust. Yes, Spring Breakup Season has arrived!
When Spring finally greets us here in NYC it seems to set off a chemical receptor in people which alerts them that it’s time to remove ths shackles and become uncuffed from their significant others that they have endured the last five months of Winter with. Maybe it’s the fact that they can’t seem to deal with the cabin fever of being stuck inside with the same person after a long wintry season, and when those first days of warmth arrive and those wondrous rays of sunlight hit their faces they can think of one thing only.
“I must dump this person and be single for the Summer!”
Heck, I’ll admit to being infected with the Sprink Breakup Bug many times when I was in my major dating years. Really, who wanted to be tied up with someone when you knew your friends would all be out at the beach, the bars, having fun on weekends, parties, and whatnot? It’s always exciting to hook up with new people. Then there were the four times I went to Spring Break. No way was any of us going to be trapped with a girlfriend during that time of our lives! Now, don’t just think it’s just the douche guys acting like this because you ladies can be just as much a douche as we are. You all go through the same urge to dump those guys you have been stringing along over the Winter and using to have someone there for the holidays and long cold dreary nights. Then, when Spring arrives along with Summer bikini season, summer shares in the Hamptons, and weekends on the Jersey Shore are just around the corner – Boom! You lay the hammer down and cut off that poor dude you have been dating right at the knees. Even worse with women is that they often try to “friend zone” many of these dudes after breaking up with them. C’mon, admit it, guys and gals are many times in the same breakup mode when Spring arrives. We all want to play in our own way!
I have seen it twice this past week when walking home from work. Of course, I slow down a bit to eavesdrop a bit. I can’t help myself! It’s just too delicious! One instance the guy looked like he was trying to be all hard and tough while explaining to the girl his reasoning while she was standing there crying and yelling back at him. The one line I heard out of him was something that “he had to be alone to focus on his career”. Yeah, right! Along with chasing all the hotties in their summer dresses and skimpy beach wear! Hey dude, I played that game too. She knows you’re full of it.
The other was the classic “I need to find myself and figure out what I really want” speech that this gal was giving her guy right outside the subway stop. Heard that one a few times before. The old “it’s not you it’s me” reason. After a few rounds and then him saying something really bad she called him an asshole and walked away. He had that lost puppy dog look on his face as she disappeared down the street. Again, yeah right. She has to find herself. On a rooftop bar in the Summer partying with her friends, and hooking up with random dudes at their summer share parties. We all know your game!
I do get a good laugh out of observing this. Every year around the same time it seems. It does bring back memories. Some I’d like to forget, and others that make me chuckle. It’s almost like a right of passage that many of us go through. We all play the victim at one time, or make someone else portray that role.
Ah, the sweet smell of desperation in the air can only mean that Spring has finally arrived! On your daily travels keep your eyes and ears open as you might stumble upon these elusive beasts during de-mating season. It can happen anywhere but usually in a public area it seems. Become witness to those infected with the Spring Breakup bug!
58 thoughts on “Spring is in the air so it’s Breakup Season in NYC!”
I love your cynicism, Phil. I’m sure you’re right with your translations. The ‘I’ve got to find myself’ line always makes me cringe. Excellent post.
It’s not you, it’s me. Once I find myself you will be the first one I call. Ha!
Hysterical break up lines. Except “I need space”. That one makes me cringe because of the number of times I used it myself. Yikes (and so glad to be past all of that).
I think we all used at least one of these whe trying to bail out!
Love it All! Great Post on a good spring cleaning.
I think many of us used these lines during past Spring cleanings! I’ve been hearing them a lot lately with couples on the street!
And what is it with New Yorkers that makes it okay to conduct their most personal business right in the middle of the street? Waiting, of course, for that warm summer night when everyone has their windows open to allow for maximum sharing. I’m really starting to think breaking up by changing your facebook status is pretty darn classy…
I think people feel that if they do it for all to hear then it’s officially the end!
Stopping over from NEB! I had to laugh at your post – while it was right on, I’m sure one day when you meet “the one”, you will want to spend almost every waking minute with her. Until then, enjoy the summer – YOLO!
Thanks for dropping by and commenting!
Glad you got a laugh from this. Oh, I remember when Spring would roll around and we all didn’t want to be tied down to any one person for Summer. Lot’s of temptation on the beach and weekend parties!
Never understood trying to remain friends with exes. Sure, for those later in life who have been married and divorced it makes sense. Maybe you have to figure out a way to get along because you have kids in the picture. But otherwise, feeling bad about breaking up with someone or being scared of a clean break is not a good reason to be friends with someone!
My thoughts too. Just break up and move on. I think woman mostly want to keep the ex’s around. Kind of like trophies or something. Us dudes just jump to the next chick!
At first inwas thinking “Do people REALLY wait until Spring to break up?” and then I remembered my friend who stayed with a guy because he like to drive her places and she didn’t have a car, and my friend who said she could tolerate her boring boyfriend because he had a big house with a big yard and he had a pet nanny who would also take cater of her dog. Makes sense right? So in this same sense if I lived in NYC in a tiny apartment and my SO had a bigger place, it would be a better winter. It’s the happiness formula. People are people!
That is one way to look at it. Car, house, and pet nanny makes people put up with boring relationships. Still, it is fun to be young and single in NYC during the summer!
Hi Phil! This was too funny! I never noticed before but it does seem to work out that way!
The world is a strange place indeed. Especially when summer comes calling and couples bite the dust!
It’s funny how we each have our own local sign of spring. Yours is much more amusing. I’d stop and easedrop too. Great fodder for a writer. I live is rural western New York and we have a different sign of spring. When the unmistakable smell of manure breaks through winter’s cold I know spring has arrived!
We just can’t help but listen in on this craziness. It’s too juicy!
Yes, we have those smells of NYC summer too – urine and poop in the streets!
Hmmmm…I can see why. Summer lovin is the best kind, and unless you’ve got a contract (i.e. marriage license) what fun is it to practice the lovin with just one mate?
Nothing like being single in the summer. Winter is for shacking up. Summer is time to play!
This is hysterical. I just witnessed something along these lines yesterday while lunching on Mulberry Street. Oh those summer nights.
Yup, I’m sure you did! We all bump into a few on the streets here during Spring. I think after this long winter people want to be free to party in NYC! Summer nights……
I love the last translation–my feelings for you are totally nonexistent. Have to say I (and my friends) had a few bouts of cluelessness with this one in college!
Oh and the eavesdropping is completely fine, it’s important to hone our social observation skills. 🙂
We just have to listen in! Why else would they do it in public? For our enjoyment!
We have all been there at one time. Dumper and dumpee! 🙂
I may or may not have been guilty of doing the same in my young college years. I am so thankful to be married now and not have to worry about all the crazy childish games. I love the eavesdropping. My husband laughs at me because i can hear others convos at restuarants and he’ll say quit listening to them!
Ha! My girl does the same thing at restaurants. I have no clue what they are saying be she hears every word. I get the play by play!
Hey Phil. This is so funny but Spring Break is Spring Break and people have to do what they have to do while the sun is still shining although living in Germany, there’s not going to be any public shouting. Shame!
I once saw a security guard chase a thief in Berlin and everything was so quiet. I only noticed because the thief was smoking!
Wow- you all are too quiet over there! Public breakups and humiliation are a right of passage for some couples here in NYC heading into Summer! Prosit!
It’s not me, it’s you > it’s you. No doubt.
As long as we agree on that and no friend-zoning here we are good!
Too funny, Phil! Especially the de-mating season. I broke up with someone last month in a nice park on a warm spring day. There was no yelling or crying or ulterior motives for my exit. It actually would have been more beneficial to stay with him as his parents have a house up in wine country and a pool in the backyard (yeah, he still lived at home), but I simply could not bear to spend any more time with this guy and there was nothing like a picnic lunch on a beautiful day to let him know it. But at least I bought the sandwiches!
Glad you enjoyed my de-mating post! You broke up with a guy that had a house in wine country and a pool? Ouch. Yet, living with mommy and daddy is the kiss of death! The sandwiches were a nice touch. Bravo!
Well that’s weird because usually spring fever means everyone is wearing rose colored glasses and love is everywhere. Maybe it’s an east coast, west coast thing. Or maybe I just haven’t witnessed the spring break-up season. I work for a family law attorney so it’s always break-up season for me.
I’m looking forward to hearing about some more eavesdropping spring break up conversations.
w/a Jansen Schmidt
Oh my – you live in break up world! Nah, over here after Valentine’s Day and first days of Spring it’s usually splitsville for many couples!
Finding love and staying in it is not easy in this town! The BS breakup lines are hilarious and true. The first one hits home for everyone –– I think we’ve all used it at one point or another. The next time I see a breakup or fight on the street, I’ll think of you! 🙂
NYC is a tough town for dating and relationships! We know that. We have all used a line or two escaping a relationship!
Love your list. My son, Andrew, would stop talking. Eventually the girl would say,”Since you won’t speak to me, we might as well break up.” And done! 🙂
It seems so much easier to break up nowadays. Just text them or breakup over Facebook and that’s it!
Aw those poor dumpees. :(. You bring up an interesting point, I never noticed breakup happening so early as in spring, always thought it was fully a Summer thing.
Oh well. People watching is fantastic. 🙂 Keep your stories coming! Eh… the finding yourself excuse. Sometimes I think that one rings true, even though it sounds like bs. People do need to not be so dependent. Good one, Phil!
You gotta break up in Spring to be free for Summer season and get a head start on it! I see it around every year on the streets here. Wish I could pull up a chair and some popcorn to kick back and enjoy the show!
Oh man! I guess we are like animals after all. Spring is breeding season, look at all the bunnies frolicking around hooking up with lots of partners! Something in the air that says…go multiply and have fun! LOL. Good post! 🙂
Breeding season! Yes! That’s what I should have named this post! Glad you enjoyed!
Ah…I love the break up excuses! My go-to is a turnaround – “It’s not me, it’s you,” because it’s simply the truth! This applies to almost every reason to break up – being cheated on, dating a douche, an ass, a clinging shit, a mama’s boy, etc…
I can bet you break hearts every Spring! 😉
Then again, sounds like you have had some real trophies as boyfriends! Stick with Ted!
Funny…last year I wrote a post about Spring being mating season…birds..bees…guys checking out girls in Spring clothes…
I guess these two topics are kind of related.
Thanks for dropping by and commenting! Its all very incestuous. Skirts, bikinis, summer clothes. Temptation! Mating season is a reason couples fall apart in NYC! I think it’s funny now.
Break-up season — I wonder if it got delayed with all the snow this year?
Look out, there may just be a mad break-up rush this month.
Ha! I have seen it a lot lately so I guess everyone has thawed out and ready to go solo!
It’s not you… oh dear me – you put a funny spin on everything, Phil! Lolllling!
Hey, you have to laugh because we all know it’s partly true.
It’s not you, it’s me……….and our urge to party with our friends all drunk on a beach with mad hook ups!
As long as it doesn’t happen to you!
Yeah, then it’s not all that funny! It’s not you, crap, it is me!!!
As long as it’s happening to somebody else.
Just tell the truth man, “I ‘m just not into you.” x
Glad you laughed! We hope it happens to someone else. That’s why we laught at it, and eavesdrop a bit. We have all been there and done that with breakups!
When I was grade school young, I broke up with my boyfriends for the summer. I didn’t want to have to coordinate meeting them at the skating rink if I could just meet someone new. LOL.
You were a playa playa! What a heartbreaker you must have been!
Heh, heh. Been a long time since I’ve been involved in a Spring breakup…thank goodness. 🙂
Yeah, I bet you played that game back in the day! We all did at one time. Summer is coming!