Well, we here in NYC sure dodged a close one when it came to the recent elections. Voters on this day had a multitude of bad choices to filter through and hoped the best candidates would turn out on top. It was like voting for the best of the worst, and hoping we did not become a total mockery in front of the rest of the country. It was bad enough we had a bunch of derelicts and sexual devients on the tickets this time around, and for awhile it looked like a few of them might win! Good thing the public came to their senses and escorted these idiots out of their political careers by choosing the better candidates for those positions. Now you just have to wonder where these wackos will end up, and what their next career paths will be. I have a few suggestions that come to mind…….
Crazy Weiner’s Weiners! Weiner is nutty as a loon and this would be a perfect transition into a new food based career – a hot dog stand!
Big Bully Brothel. Can it be any more obvious? Eliot Spitzer heads out to Nevada and opens his own den of prostitution. Then sleeps with all of his staff and wonders why he can’t turn a profit.
The Anthony and Eliot comedy act. They head out on the road as this generation’s Cheech & Chong. Instead of getting high and making jokes about it they whip out their penises on stage and tell knock knock jokes. Becomes huge on cable tv and has a bunch of specials on HBO, Showtime, Twitter, and Instagram!
Porn stars. Of course! I can see the titles of their skin flicks as their porn careers take off – Tony Goes Twitter Twatting, Spitzer’s Sphincter, The Governor’s Engorgement, Carlos Danger Exposed, and FrankenWeiner!
2 Bros Condoms. They go into business together as door to door condom salesmen to push a designer line of condoms packaged with names such as Steamroller Sheik, TweetPenis Ribbed, and Magnum Dicks!
President and VP of the good ol’ USA! It has to happen. These two disgraced politicians just have to run for the offices that are most suited for their misgivings and dirty deeds. Lord knows they will fit right in as the leaders up on Capitol Hill!