I’ll admit that I did not watch the Super Bowl. Nope, not one minute, not one play, not even a peek. You must all be asking how is that possible? Blasphemy! This is an American holiday now. How can you not watch? It’s the big game! The epicenter of all sports tv programming! The monster truck show climax of the NFL season! The big cheese! The big sombrero! For the whole enchilada! Ole’!
Hmmm…..I am suddenly craving some Mexican for lunch today. Tacos maybe? A burrito? I hope the bathroom at work will be empty later. Gonna be ugly. Wait….what was I talking about? Oh yeah, that football game that was played Sunday night. Get back on track Phil and stop getting veered off course by thoughts of delicious food. As I was saying it is a fact that I did not watch any of the Super Bowl this past Sunday, and honestly by seeing the final score and highlights (or lowlights if you’re a Broncos fan) I did not miss anything at all! This was an embarrassing abomination of a game. One of my friends said it best – “They should label the Broncos as the new Keystone Cops of the Super Bowl and play the old Benny Hill theme music over the highlights.” I do have to offer congrats to the Seattle Seahawks being crowned Super Bowl Champions as they totally destroyed Denver and left no doubt on that playing field. Yet, other than if you’re a Seahawks fan what joy is there of watching a boring non-competitive game of 43-8? After seeing the post-game updates on ESPN this game was literally over after the botched opening snap by Denver within the first 12 seconds!
Now back to my night. As a New Yorker I could care less about either team. Sure, I’m a football fan, but not really a Denver fan. Peyton Manning and his Frankenstein head scares me, but I do respect his talent as a QB. I don’t really know much about Seattle other that they had not won any championships in that city since the NBA’s Supersonics way back in 1979. I just looked at this as a “meh” matchup of teams and not worth wasting my time to watch. Boy oh boy, was I correct. From what I heard and now seen even the much over-anticipated commercials were not all that great, and mediocre offerings at best. Also, the halftime show did not even arouse any desire in me to tune in. Not a pop music fan, but I heard Bruno Mars did a great performance, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers I have seen already so it was no big miss for me. I just wish the NFL would put a band up there that really represents the hard hitting bone cruching game that it is. Judas Priest, AC/DC, Iron Maiden, and so many metal bands would blow any of these sissy boy performers off the stage with real music that showcases what the NFL is about. Alas, it will never happen as the NFL wants Rated-G family friendly mundane music as it’s halftime show now. No more wardrobe malfunctions! Ha – the Chili Peppers should have come out and performed nude as they have in the past with nothing but a strategically placed sock on their equipment! NFL commish Roger Goodell would have had a heart attack.
One thing I do enjoy about Manhattan on Super Bowl Sunday is that everything other than the bars are empty that night. It’s a relaxing joy to go out to dinner and see a movie as we did. Had a nice meal then hit a movie where the theater we were in had maybe five other people in it. I love having our choice of seats with not a soul sitting around us. We used a few free passes we have stockpiled to take in a goofy movie – I, Frankenstein. I can’t help myself as I love sci-fi and action movies. My inner geek comes out with these flicks. Sometimes I’d rather go low-brow and not have to think too much while being entertained. It was not as bad as everyone has panned it to be. Just a check your brain at the door, grab a large soda, bucket of popcorn, kick back and have fun for a few hours movie. After that we hit a terrific coffee shop and had dessert. It was then that I looked on the phone and saw the final 43-8 score. LOL! It was a better night than having to watch that waste of a game, or getting drunk and eating bad at someone’s party. Again, I didn’t miss much.
I also totally avoided going into the tourist hell hole known as Times Square for Super Bowl Week festivities. Nope. No way. Not me. Most of us who live here avoid it like the plague anyway and rarely head into that part of town normally other than to take in a show on Broadway. Sorry, but I was not going to fight through thousands of football fans and tourists to pay $5 and ride a stupid slide for 10 seconds. Also, can we get real here and admit the game was played in New Jersey? Even as a New Yorker I’ll admit that NYC really had little to do with it other than the overhyped parties, celebrities, and press events here. Nice try New York but this game was played and hosted in the swamps of New Jersey! Hot damn though that mess with fans trying to leave the stadium after the game was a disaster. Sorry, not sorry! Man, it must suck for Denver fans who spent thousands on tickets, airfare, hotels, food, drinks, etc. Hope they enjoyed the flight home after witnessing one of the worst losses in Super Bowl history!
Somewhere that night you just know Tim Tebow and Satan were sitting together having a drink, watching the game, and laughing at Manning and Elway. 43-8. There were definitely some dark forces at work here.
Oh, and Tebow now has a better playoff record than Peyton Manning. Ouch!