Well, here we are again in another winter season. It’s December and a week away from Christmas. Full swing into the holiday season. People are packing the malls, shopping online, and scurrying to take advantage of the many last minute sales and discounts. We have already seen a few small snowfalls here in NYC that have thrown the public into panic mode! It just never amazes me how even a few inches of snow in the forecast nowadays gets overblown into a catastrophic event! I really think it’s a conspiracy by the news channels, weather forecasters, internet sites, and newspapers to help spread fear while generating higher ratings and sales. Why does every teeny snow squall have to be assigned a name of doom? Watch out for “Snowstorm Ass Ripper” that is looking to dump a total of two inches of the white stuff on us! Be deathly afraid of “Mega-storm Skid Mark” which will coat us with upwards of three inches of Hell! Run for your lives as “Crazy Storm Turd Burglar ” leaves us trudging through a Hellish inch of the fluffy stuff! As soon as the news starts talking about the upcoming snowfalls in these terms the inevitable happens. People run to the supermarkets and bodegas scrambling to scoop up every supply item they can to help survive the onslaught of snow that we mostly never end up really seeing. It’s like every snow day is a re-creation of Black Friday panic! Grab all the bacon!!!
What the heck people? Do you really need to wipe out the shelves of all milk, bread, and eggs? It’s NYC! It doesn’t matter if we get a four foot blizzard as the Chinese restaurants never close anyway. Same goes for pizza joints. We will never starve here. Damn, I even heard of people hoarding water in bathtubs, buying up all batteries and flashlights, and getting prepared as if the world will come to a standstill over a few inches of slush on the ground. It’s just some snow. It’s not like Twinkies are going to be discountinued again!
It kind of reminds me of when my great aunts and uncles proclaimed that “They walked to school during a driving blizzard, uphill, and barefoot. Both ways!” I don’t get it. When did we all become a bunch of spineless scaredy-cats over these past bunch of years? I remember back in my high school days when it seemed to snow a lot more. I was always shoveling the snow from our driveway and then that damn truck would come by and plow it all back up at me right as I was about finished. Effing bastards! It was like they taunted us. Yet, no one seemed to panic back then as they do now. We knew how to handle it. Not every snowfall was assigned a scary name. It was just called “snow”.
Another thing. We live in a mass transit mecca. Why the heck do so many people insist on trying to drive back and forth into the city each day? Especially during bad weather. Then complain when it takes five hours to get to work and back as traffic is bumper to bumper because of the snow. I know some have no choice but to drive but there are so many that are attached to their cars in an obsessive way. Stop whining and take the train, subway, or bus in. Or suck it up, crank up the tunes, and enjoy the road rage! Maybe just stay home and tell your boss your car is buried under. Good luck with that!
Then I see these numbskulls so bundled up it looks like they are headed to an artic expedition. There is barely two inches of snow on the sidewalks and they have winter boots on along with three layers of snow gear while it’s in the 30’s outside. Maybe it’s just me but I love when it’s cold out. 30’s and 40’s to me is like air conditioning. Sure beats the swamp ass humidity of the NYC summers. People are so conditioned to fear the winters here now there is no body resistance to the cold and elements. People complain about going to work and helicopter parents scream about why the schools are still open with a few inches of snow on the ground. Back then we hardly ever got snow days. Those damn buses would be there to get us in three feet of snow and an ice storm. I hated my school. It never closed.
I am sure we will get clobbered a few times this winter with some major snowfall. I think we are due as there have not been that many big blizzards over the past ten years or so. We have had many mild winters here in NYC during the time I have lived here. Blame Al Gore and Global Warming. Blame Mayor Bloombito. Blame Canada. One thing I do miss is playing with my pets when it snowed. Those were good times!
All know is that I am prepared for the first blizzard of the season for when it does arrive. Plenty of wine, rum, and bourbon stocked up in the bar at our place! Hot toddies here I come. Plus a secret stash of Twinkies!