Escaping NYC for a few days and heading to Las Vegas for a biz trip. Normally, that would be all fine and dandy except for the fact that it’s a raging inferno of heat there this week! Temps soaring close to 110 degrees each day makes for extreme swamp ass!
Dry air my ass! Hot is hot!
Business travel is always a hassle, but a necessary evil for many of us. Especially those of us in the ad sales game. There are always numerous clients to visit, conventions to attend, and other various business functions in different places. I used to actually enjoy flying, as I still like to visit different cities across the USA and see the sights when I have the time. It used to be a lot of fun. Yet, nowadays air travel makes me want to strangle people! I think many of us feel that way. At least now we have the option to stay connected up in the air. I am using the plane’s WiFi and typing this all in real-time as it’s happening.
Point in case the people sitting next to me. I always make sure to book an aisle seat. No one really wants the dreaded middle seat. No bueno. Why does it seem that as soon as I have my tray down, computer hooked into the WiFi, food and drink all set up that the animals next me all of a sudden have the urge to release their bowels? Really? You had more than enough time before I got all situated and then you choose the most awkward moment to decide you need to pee? Ugh! These seats and the space around it are small enough, and now I have to try to pick everything up and shimmy out of it without spilling everything all over me. When the heck will Scotty arrive to just beam us up and make this a lot easier?
Oh, and another thing when it comes to idiot passengers. Our flight was a bit delayed this morning due to people fighting over the overhead bins and wanting to switch seats. Some were arguing with the flight attendants because their bags needed to be checked as there was no more room in the bins. Took forever for everyone to get in their damn seats. I’ve said it before – the problem is the carry-on situation. If airlines would eliminate carry-ons and just build in lower fees to check all bags boarding would be a breeze as passengers would just walk in and sit the heck down. It would greatly eliminate delays and stress. I know I’ll hear it from many who whine that they hate waiting for their luggage, and worry it might get lost, blah blah blah. I check my luggage every flight and have never had a problem. It’s just a few extra minutes to go get it at the carousel. It’s just less hassle for me, plus I have a habit of overpacking a bit. No way I’m fitting my whole apartment into a small carry-on!
Am I the only one or is it just me who gets annoyed when people won’t turn off their cell phone when the cabin door is closed and keep chatting away with someone, or just can’t stop texting. It’s 7am and nap time now. Shut the heck up and put the phone away for a while. Damn, I’m starting to sound like those old guys who complain about everything. “Hey you kids! Off may lawn!”
Also, why the hell does some guy choose to have a conversation with the person sitting by the window seat while standing over me? Seriously, I want to donkey punch him in the crotch. It’s always my seat row. I always get these nimrods standing next to me while I am trying to get some work done, attempting to nap, or eating something. I truly hate having some dude’s ass in my face while flying. It’s just not an enjoyable flight experience. Don’t even get me started on some of these beasts who smell a fit foul. Yeah, that’s a wonderful essence I want to inhale while eating my sandwich.
Speaking of that, some other animal just farted near me. Yeah, really. One of those anal explosions where you can tell the person probably shart themselves. It reeks of three-day old burritos mixed with rotten eggs and sulfur. Seriously man! What the hell did you do to your colon? For the love all that is holy have some compassion for those of us sitting nearby and take it to the bathroom! I think my nose hairs all singed off. Nasty!
Hey, at least there are no screaming babies on board this flight. Joyous.
God, I love having WiFi at 30,000 feet in the air. Ranting away in the wild blue yonder!