Has it really been two years since I started posting my ridiculous thoughts, observations, gluttony, and depravity on this blog The Regular Guy NYC? Looking back over my scribble it just so happens that October is my two year anniversary of this madness that I have been vomiting out all over this blog. Where did the time go? In the words of the legendary anchorman Ron Burgundy – “Well, that escalated quickly”. I don’t know about you all but sometimes I can’t even believe the stuff that gets splattered all over this blog, and for some reason you all keep reading it. It’s like a pain and pleasure thing. It hurts so good, but you keep coming back for more. Like a car wreck that you can’t turn away from. I keep posting and you can’t seem to stop staring at my insides cooking like road pizza on the hot asphalt. What can I say? Many of you are just as demented, vile, raunchy, and sick as I am. I dig crazy, and really appreciate all of the support, comments, and feedback I have received and continue to receive here, even if it borders on stalking. By the way, does this rag smell like chloroform? Come, step into my unmarked white van of blogging!
There is just so much to talk about living here in NYC that it oozes out of me like some parasitic germ that makes me spew all over the sidewalks of this wretched and beloved metropolis of mine. Manhattan is like that crazy ex that you can’t seem to escape, and somehow on drunken lonely booze filled nights, you end up in bed with it again for a booty call of addiction and self loathing. Over and over. It lures you in with it’s sexy talk, exciting persona, and mischievous smile. Then after you wake up tied to the bed you realize that many years have gone by and you’re trapped in it’s clutches. Sucking all the money out of your pockets on overpriced rent, amazing entertainment, fabulous eateries, terrific events, non-stop nightlife, and a fast paced lifestyle that’s irresistible. It’s as if Lady Liberty herself is giving you the ultimate blowjob and she is determined to suck you dry! Not that I’m complaining though! I’m quite satisfied, but not totally drained yet! Keep sucking NYC!
Also, there is just too much darned good food here. I swear if I didn’t have a gym membership I would look like Jabba the Hut by now. It doesn’t help my fitness cause that dang near everything delivers. How lazy can a person be to have bagels and cream cheese delivered on Sunday morning, then have beer, pizza and wings dropped by for football, and then have a movie along with ice cream and Red Vines personally delivered to your door that night? It’s total gluttony! We can actually live a sloth like existence here in NYC and never leave our apartments for anything. In fact, I think some people do. I swear I have never seen half the people living on my floor. I disgust myself as I have spent an occasional weekend day never leaving my couch surrounded by empty food cartons and pizza boxes. Damn you Seamless! Damn you!
Don’t even get me started on the boozing I do here. My liver hates me. If there is even anything left of it by now. Where I live along Second Ave on the Upper East Side it’s just bar after bar after bar. Now we have recently seen an influx of craft beer and cocktail joints open up in the hood. It’s like living in the Red Light District and each bar you pass by is dancing almost naked in the windows trying to entice you in with a lap dance of libations. Of course, I am pulled in for a sip and end up stumbling out with the lipstick kisses of beer, bourbon, and vodka imprinted on my neck and face. That’s when I get slapped after I get caught and pay for my indiscretions with my many liquor mistresses. I can’t help myself as I am seduced pretty easily when it comes to a good drink. They are evil women for sure. Fun, but evil!
Again, I thank you all for dropping by to read my blog, comment on my postings, and reach out to me. It’s because of you all that I keep on keeping on here. I have met many talented people who write, experienced many cool things, and learned a lot over these past two years because of this forum where I’m allowed to let loose and embellish on my life and loves of NYC. I guess I’ll keep doing this, and as long as people still enjoy my tales and adventures, I won’t stop as The Regular Guy NYC just won’t slow down. On to year three with more boozing, food porn, ranting & raving, and general foolishness!
( Seriously though, he really won’t let me stop. He has me locked in a basement closet with a flashlight, laptop, beef jerky, and internet access. Send help! I should have never stepped in that van. He said he had candy and bacon! )