The fear of the unknown, or just the love of food?
We had just finished dinner the other night after work at one of our favorite pizza joints. It’s a local’s spot that serves up terrific oven baked pizzas, assorted pastas, and Italian plates. One of those spots where you can order up normal human sized plates, or dive head-in and be a total gluttonous
man-beast slob freak and order a “family style” portion. Of course, we went with the “food baby coma” size pasta dish along with a medium pizza.
Continue reading Doggy Bags, Leftovers, Facehuggers. Oh My!
First things first. Happy New Year! Here’s to a healthy, happy, safe, and prosperous 2018!
I don’t know where you all live, but it’s freaking cold here in the Northeast. As cold as a polar bear’s anus. Colder than Jack Frost’s taint. So cold that my sphincter packed up and moved to Miami for the winter! All it left behind was a post-it note telling me it decided to live the life of a “snow bird”. Adios amigo!
I won’t even tell you where it adhered the note to. Let’s just say it was a rude awakening when I got up this morning and stumbled half asleep into the bathroom. Inconsiderate bastard didn’t even say goodbye! That’s what I get for all those years of a “soft touch” and Cottonelle. No appreciation whatsoever! Continue reading Happy 2018! New Me. New You. Oh, Stop The BS!
Holy crap, what the heck am I doing out here in 26 degree weather? I think I’ve made a huge mistake!
My slightly warped mind always seems to head back to that episode of Seinfeld. Whenever I am subjected to some pretty brutal weather conditions which makes my nether regions retreat up into my body like a turtle hiding in it’s shell. When it’s that cold outside in NYC, “shrinkage” is the appropriate reasoning for any gent trying to defend the rationale of “diminished manhood”!
I was shrinkage, Jerry! SHRINKAGE!!! Continue reading It was shrinkage, Jerry! Shrinkage! It was cold outside!
Has anyone noticed the world is going a bit nutty lately?
I mean, really, some idiot tried to detonate a makeshift pipe bomb strapped to his chest in the NYC subway? Then, pretty much almost blew himself up because this self-proclaimed terrorist lunatic did not know what he was doing? He picked out a busy tunnel walkway because it had Christmas advertising, which he hated, and it was the morning rush hour. Forget the pipe bomb almost killing him. He is lucky that angry New Yorkers on their way to work did not tear him apart! You don’t mess with us during our morning commute, as most are in an angry mood already dealing with getting to work, and on a mission to get from Point A to Point B. Get outta my way!
Especially if we didn’t have our morning “Cup O’Joe” yet! Continue reading You don’t mess with NYC during the morning rush. The MTA already angers us enough.