It’s one of those days when I woke up to a head cold and feel like crapola. I just want to drink a bottle of Nyquil and crawl back under the covers and go to sleep for three days. Since I have very little tolerance for the stuff anyway usually a full cap full will do the trick. Alas, since I am going away on vacation this Friday to see the parental units in Florida I need to be at work and get a lot accomplished before I head out on my favorite US airline – JetBlue. Gotta have my snacks and in-flight TV! Plus, I need to be rested and well for a trip to the Disney Parks. When you have mom and dad with you for five days in DisneyWorld things can get a bit crazed and nerves can be frayed. Those of you out there who deal with cray cray parents on a daily basis know what I mean. At least Epcot has the Wine & Beer Expo going on, so that will be one afternoon I will be intoxicated and numb to all around me! Hey Mom – you’re driving! Me and Dad are getting crunk!
Anyhoo, in honor of my stuffed nose and achy head I think it’s time for a bit of ranting and raving. Just going to work today I noticed some things that put me in a more foul mood than this cold already has me in. It’s one of those days when I just want to “smack someone upside the head” observing some of the things I see people do that annoy me in NYC.
Throwing cigarette butts on the ground – this one really pisses me off. Are you that effing lazy that you can’t put out the cigarette and dump it in one of the 10,000 trash cans on every street corner? So instead you throw it onto the sidewalk or street? It’s called littering you a-holes! I wish that Mayoro Bloombito would go after these jerks as much as he goes after parking violations and large sodas. I can imagine how much money the city would make if a $25 fine was enforced each time for anyone caught doing this.
Lazy asses who throw their trash on the sidewalk – and just walk away. Really? You’re that much of an a-hole that you can’t pick up your McDonald’s wrapper or empty soda bottle and place it in the trash can ten feet away from you? I see this crap every day. No wonder our whole city looks like a garbage dump at times. I see city streets covered with this trash each day. It’s amazing compared to the many cities I travel to all around the country on business. I was recently in Denver and the streets in the downtown area were spotless. Not even a gum wrapper. Why are many here so disrespectful and inconsiderate? Does it take that much effort to place it in a garbage can?
The moron who eats a whole meal on the subway – and then leaves the trash on the bench. Oh, you have got to be kidding me. As if the subway system doesn’t have enough problems now you have to be eating some sort of smelly Indian food in the morning that smells like body odor. Then when getting off at your stop you leave half the food on the floor in front of you and the tray on the seat. There is a special place in Hell for these kinds of people.
The lumbering morons who walk like they own the sidewalk – as I am trying to get by to my workplace. What is it with these oafs that saunter at a snail’s pace? They walk spread out on the sidewalk so no one can get by them, and move as if in slow motion. Uh, hello? It’s rush hour and people are trying to get to work. Move it! Same goes for those standing around having a conversation in the middle of the sidewalk blocking traffic. I just purposely walk right through them now. Yeah, go ahead and give me that dirty look. I ain’t got time for that!
The idiot who has to hold open the elevator for everyone – and another 20 people pile in. I really effing hate you Mr Considerate. I need to blow my nose. It’s crowded in here and some gal’s nasty perfume is making me even more sick. I just want to sit at my desk with a cup of hot tea. Alone. But no, you have to let everyone catch this one elevator car when there are five others they can wait a minute for. Now all 2o floor buttons are pushed and it’s taking forever. Oh, great, now a few guys decide to have a business conversation out loud while we are all trapped in here. I feel like my head is about to explode. I feel the need to kill. Help.
This concludes my rant for the day. ( Drops mic and steps away from the podium. )
Hopefully, by tomorrow I will feel a lot better. I never get sick but when I do it’s just for a few days with a small cold like this. I think it’s the body’s way of flushing itself out once in a while. I know after a few days with my parents I will feel a different kind of sick anyway if they start acting up! Sometimes I feel that as we get older the parents become more like our children, and act like it. Am I right?