Once again it’s the Return of Spam! In StereoVision 3D!



I had not checked my spam filter for this past week as I was busy out on the road for travel. Denver is a wonderful city to attend a trade show. The hotels are close to the convention center and many terrific restaurants and bars are within walking distance. Craft beer heaven! There’s a bizarre kind of homeless population meandering the 16th Street Mall and downtown area though. Kind of a spaced out hippy trippy crowd mingling in with a stoned skateboarder crowd. So different than what we have here in NYC. It’s always fun to get away for a few days, meet new people in my industry, press the flesh with old friends, do some business, and explore other cities in the good ole USA. It’s a strange land out there across our country for sure, but nevertheless, it’s something worth seeing for yourself across our great land.

Now that I am back home in NYC and playing catch up on my life I decided to take a peek into the old spam filter to see what gems have been deposited there. As all bloggers know there are spam bots constantly looking for ways to place a comment on a post to help promote their own links. The comment is usually 99% of the time totally ridiculous and has nothing to do with what your feature is about. Of course, I delete all of them as we all do, yet there are some that are so “out there” they give me a good chuckle. So once again, for your pleasure, are a few that I decided to showcase here and comment back on.

It is just a total coincidence that this asexual alien appears like an captivating girl. Science!

– Wasn’t that the girl with the three boobies in the news? Prepare yourself for triple anal probing!


A similar story is told about Olson Road in Rochester. The old slaughterhouse on the road seems to disappear and reappear depending on the time of day. Those who have seen it claim that when they tried to find it, the building disappeared again.

– Taking hallucinogenics while eating bacon again I see?

As an owner of a ferret for 18 years, she has a wealth of knowledge that she likes to share with others. 

– Wait, you have a talking ferret?  Is this a magical ferret? Is this ferret college educated? Can this ferret make me money because that would be fabulous.

What a material of un-ambiguity and preserveness of precious knowledge on the topic of unexpected feelings.

– The only feelings I have will be that of joy as I delete your comment from my spam filter!

magnificent points altogether, you simply gained a brand newreader. What may you suggest in regards to your put up that you made a few days ago? Any sure?

– I is a colledge stoodent. I love lamp. Me confused.


Man, you scared to shoot / bullshit me!

– Well, you can’t bullshit a bullshitter. Oh, and just take a step left in front of my rifle target.

Hey fantastic website! Does running a blog like this require a massive amount work? I’ve absolutely no knowledge of coding but I was hoping to start my own blog in the near future. Anyways, if you have any suggestions or techniques for new blog owners please share.

– Thanks I guess, but I barely know how to put on my underwear in the morning much less know about coding a blog!

I know this is off subject nevertheless I simply needed to ask. Kudos!

– If you want to know about my penis just say so! It’s real….and it’s spectacular!

luxury. One of several high heel pumps trend society, Christian Louboutin sale are while stunning along with almost similar to the new style.

– Carrie Bradshaw is reading my blog? Send Samantha over with some cocktails and condoms!


The nocturnal service was just as great as the food was and the dark ambiance was delightful down in the orifice in his maddening cavity of depravity.

– Yes! A politician is reading my posts! Why do I suddenly feel the need to have an exorcism of my blog?

I used to be able to find good information from your blog articles.

– What do you mean “used to”? And now you don’t? What the eff? Well, screw you too!

It’s going to be finish of mine day, but before ending I am reading this enormous paragraph to improve my know-how.

– LOL! If you are trying to learn how to eat and drink your way to oblivion you’ve come to the right blog!

Leave me alone!

– Gladly! Now how do I get you to stop stalking me?


Hey! Someone in my Myspace group shared this website with us so I came to check it out. I’m definitely loving the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Great blog and outstanding style and design.

– Myspace? Did you travel back in time to the 1990’s? Still using a Sony Walkman, flip phone, and Blockbuster Video I would guess.

We are a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your website provided us with valuable info to work on. You have done a formidable job and our whole community will be grateful to you.

– A new scheme? I would assume I should avoid your community as they might be running after me with pitchforks and baseball bats!

I don’t have a clue!

– That makes two of us!


46 thoughts on “Once again it’s the Return of Spam! In StereoVision 3D!”

  1. Spam, hate it. I swear some days there’s nothing and others my folder has a ton. Either way it all gets deleted.

    And, you’re right it is nice that in Denver all the hotels are close to the convention center and there are all those yummy (Rioja, my fav.) in walking distance.
    Emily recently posted…Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

  2. Susie sent me!
    And it’s not fair that you get such interesting spam! All my spammers seem to be ESL students with some kind of muscle spasm problem.
    I want funny spammers too!
    Hey, maybe we should start a community where writers can quid-pro-quo spam each others’ sites with hilarious non-sequiturs?
    Ensis recently posted…So I’m preparing to take the plunge.My Profile

  3. Susie sent me 🙂
    Fantastic post. Though I am new at WordPress it’s posts like these that inspire me to write more. I hope you can take some time and go through my blog. It’s new but your critique can help me hone my art too.
    PS: Spam makes most of everyone’s everyday inbox. Be it coupons, offers, news, social networking invites, etc. I guess its the price one pays for being in the virtual neighborhood.

  4. Phil,
    This will be the only time I merely skim your article just to get to my comment below…. but I’ve been patiently waiting for your next Spam Posting! Its got to at least equal the asexual alien girl: Here it is:

    You light MY arm pit hair on fire and there’s only two things I’ll be “attentive” on. 1, Putting out the fire and 2, Putting out your lights.

    Whoa. Fitting for the Regular Guy Spam Rant eh?!
    Peggy Gilbey McMackin recently posted…Tailgate Tuesday TipsMy Profile

  5. You definitely get the best spam! Will definitely be back to read more – please don’t forget to keep sharing your spam adventures! Glad Suzie introduced us!

  6. Well, every community needs a new scheme at least once a year and word is out that with all of your know-how, preserveness of precious knowledge, and kudos people are stopping by regularly to get worthwhile depravity and information to code about.

    Thanks for offering this excellent service to spammers everywhere.

    Good stuff, Phil.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt
    Patricia recently posted…This Isn’t What I Signed Up ForMy Profile

  7. Love your responses to the spam! I have been getting so tired of the spam — it’s been finding its way to my comment section every day. Are the spam bots really people? It’s hard to believe that any human would write some of the stuff that finds its way into my comments section.

  8. First of all, I NEED to see you in new pair of Laboutin heels. That would make my week. Only thing better would be if your wore them during your next Tough Mudder.

    Secondly, no need to mock me and my MySpace group. We’ve got some gnarly dudes there, and you’re just hatin’ because you can’t get your hair as smooth and cool as Vanilla Ice. Word to ya mutha.

    Thirdly, and most importantly, I find your articles most tremendously informative and helpful in my scheme. Perhaps if you visit my website, iamnotaspammer.com you’d pick up a lovely virus.

    Last, but certainly not least, I’m glad you enjoyed Denver and had some good shit to blog about in your spam box when you got back! Always entertaining. Even if you don’t know jack about coding.

  9. Oh man…spam. When did it become so weird? Like nonsensical, rattling off a full paragraph about nothing o topic weird. You have some full on ones here and sounds like some are referring to historical events. I work in marketing and I can’t see the “gorilla marketing” benefit of spamming bloggers with this stuff. Oh well, we’ll all get a few laughs! Very cool you got to visit Denver.
    Jean recently posted…The Few Perks of a Dead ParentMy Profile

  10. UGH, your spam is SO MUCH more funny than mine. I’m pretty jealous.
    p.s. I LOVED that 3-boob girl hoax. Ever since Total Recall I’ve been waiting for that to become a trend, though I thought it would hit Japan first.
    The only semi-cool spam I ever got was from a Google+ id as “Beer Hat” and they were selling hats made from cardboard beer cases. I was flattered, and YES, I totally published that comment. I mean, Beer Hat? You’ve earned it *slow clap*
    Joy Christi recently posted…Putting The FUN In FuneralsMy Profile

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